***Siggy warning*** Advice

all1005

I have a friend who experienced a loss very recently and is having a difficult time with it.nbsp; Is there anything I can do to try to cheer her up?nbsp; She knows I'm expecting and I'd just like her to know I'm here for her.nbsp; A gift basket with spa gifts, flowers, gc for dinner out?nbsp; Anyone else been in this situation that can tell me what little things went a long way for you?

dandywarhol

First of all, I'm so sorry for your friend's loss. Secondly, you might want to put a warning in your post title regarding your siggy as it could upset many of the women here who have lost a child.  Thirdly, I would recommend checking out the FAQ at the top of the Loss Board. There are many helpful suggestions there. 

Carolee

Bumping from my phone... I added a siggy warning to your post. When I get home from work I'll fix it.

mcarter127

The only thing I can think to add is that PLEASE realize that you cannot "cheer her up.". Her baby just died, nothing is going to make her forget that, not even for a split second. Just be there for her in whatever capacity she needs. Please talk honestly with her & ask her where her comfort level is with being around u given that you're pregnant. If she can't be around you then continue to reach out over the phone, email & cards to let her know you're continuing to think about her & her baby. I am so sorry for your friends loss.

all1005

Thank you all very much for your replies.  I apologize for my ignorance with my siggy.

 I am going to read the blogs and suggestions and simply offer my support when needed. 

Again, thank you all so very much and my heart goes out to each and every one of you.  I'm  sorry for your losses.

 

jess123456

The ladies here offered some really great advice.  I second the fact that you cannot cheer her up. She lost her child and there is nothing you could do or say to make that go away.

Another piece of advice that I would add is that at the beginning (maybe for the first few weeks) people tended to be really sympathetic and be there for me. However, as time goes on that goes away as people go on with their lives etc. which is of course understandable but the hurt doesn't go away. My best friend has been so great because she has been there for me from the very start and is still there for me now. It's not that I am looking for someone to have to bring it up all the time but I know that she is there for me regardless of how much time has past.

I am so sorry for your friend's loss. 

cmenasco

Don't give up on her.  It was and still is VERY hard for me to be around my best friends as they had their babies the same week I lost mine.  But they check in on me, send me text, let me know they are thinking of me but with out being pushy.  One sent me some beautiful wind chimes as well, and was so sweet.  Now I think of my Baby Girl every time I hear them.  I got flowers from friends but they die, I got plants, but they die.  The wind chimes were nice cause I will always have them ;-)