Feeling sad/guilty about returning to work

BeagleMom2012

I have 3 weeks of maternity leave left and every time I think about leaving LO all day I get incredibly sad. I had never intended to be a stay at home mom. I love my career and have worked hard to get to the position I have, and I like contributing financially. But now I have all these worries about leaving LO. He'll be starting off staying with my MIL until he's a little older, but even with him staying with her, I worry that he won't like the way she does things, or maybe he'll start liking her more than he likes me because he'll be spending all day with her, and will only have a couple hours with me before bedtime. I've been trying to get used to the idea by taking him with me to the Y when I work out, and letting him stay in the child care center. I can't stay gone more than 45 minutes. I just feel like I'm abandoning him. I know that I'm not, and I'm probably being irrational. I guess I just never thought I'd feel this way because I always intended on being a working mom.

 How did you ladies deal with any guilt/sadness over returning to work?

AZ123

The way you feel is pretty much how all new moms feel. Welcome to motherhood! Hang in there. If anything, dont' think about it and enjoy the last few weeks of maternity leave.

I've learned that it takes a village to raise a child and I am very thankful to the daycare workers at the gym who watch my LOs while I work out and have enabled me to leave my children anywhere without them crying and I'm thankful to the daycare workers that watch my children when I'm at work because they teach them so many things and are well cared for. I'm thankful for my DH who teaches the kids things I have never thought of or my dad who taught them both how to go up and down stairs safely. But at the end of the day, they always know who MOM is.

blushingbride_08

I felt EXACTLY like you are. I ended up quitting my job. It was a tough decision but nothing can compare to me spending this time with my ds. He's growing so fast and I'm enjoying every moment. Btw I did go back to work for 1 month to try it out but I was not happy and neither was my ds. Good luck!

blushingbride_08

blushingbride_08:

I felt EXACTLY like you are. I ended up quitting my job. It was a tough decision but nothing can compare to me spending this time with my ds. He's growing so fast and I'm enjoying every moment. Btw I did go back to work for 1 month to try it out but I was not happy and neither was my ds. Good luck!

Btw I am doing freelance work now with a flex sched. Where there's a will there's a way. 

Starbear06

I'm right there with ya!! I'm going back to work next week and I have been a horrible mess about it since this past weekend. I took DS to daycare yesterday and stayed with him for a few hours. And I was still a mess because he was crying with the caretaker and it broke my heart. Today I stayed with him for 30 min and then left. He did great today! He took two naps and one being a long one and took one bottle. When I went to pick him up he was still napping. And when he woke up and the teacher went to get him he was smiling and happy he didn't see me yet. This made me feel so much better!
I was so sad and feeling guilty yesterday that I kept contemplating that maybe I should stay home instead of work but I know I wasn't cut out to be stay at home and financially it wasn't an option anyways. Just wanted you to know that I'm going through the same thing as you. But like many people have said its really the anticipation of it that's harder. Of course it's still hard to leave them but just know as long as they are well cared for and loved you should feel proud that you are a working mom!

skibunny59

This is my third week back at work and it was super hard but it is getting easier.  Honestly, my DD adjusted great.  It was much harder for me than it was for her.  She stays with my mom and I was also worried that she would start liking my mom more than me since she would only be seeing me a couple hours a day.  Let me tell you, every time I pick her up after work she has the biggest smile on her face and reaches her arms out for me to hold her.  It totally melts my heart.  I've realized that babies always know who "mommy" is.  No one can ever replace you no matter how little time you may get to spend with them.  Good Luck!  The first day super sucks but it does get easier.

Ecy

It was also incredibly hard for me to return to work and honestly took a few months before I felt ok about it. My DD was happy and did just fine in DC but it was my own guilt feelings that kept me in the dumps. Nobody will do things like you and that will be something to get used to.

I promise though that it does get easier and hopefully you will end up happy with the situation. It just takes time. You have to give it a fair chance to know if it's the best thing or not. Like I said, it took me months and now I absolutely love being a working mother. I love my job as a teacher and am happy that I didn't quit like I wanted to during my first weeks back.

GL and enjoy these last few weeks to their fullest.