Getting out of the house in the morning...

kmc217

I mostly lurk on here and post on a few other boards. I work PTand getting out of the house is killing me this year. My DD1 (4 going on 14) is brutal. Doesn't matter if I get her up earlier or let her sleep as long as possible, she is a miserable, uncooperative child in the morning. We already pick out clothes/earrings and lay out the night before. Lunch is made the night before. She usually ends up eating part of her breakfast in the car because it takes so long to get her downstairs. She literally fights me on every step and wants no help but wants me at her side the whole time she gets ready. She is 100% capable of dressing herself, doing her teeth and getting shoes and coat on. I  have to get myself and my 2 year old ready and then I have to get all 3 of us to different places by 8am. It is killing me. Any advice for motivating a very whiny, not morning child would be appreciated.

Ecy

Does she need an earlier bedtime?

How about some get ready music or an incentive chart for a productive morning where she can be rewarded?

stdldb29

My DS goes to bed at 7pm and gets up around 5:50 (8am on the weekends), he is normally pretty good about it. (He is 4). DD sucks at getting up, so we just put her directly into her seat and let the sitter dress her (she is 2). DS goes to school and he is still sooooooo tired all the time. 

ridesbuttons

My 5 year old can be like that.  I am pretty much no mercy in the morning because the bus comes when it comes and doesn't wait for dawdlers.

I'm sure you are doing everything right.  My mornings go better if I shower the night before rather than throw that into the mix.  I try and keep breakfast as simple and inviting as possible (so many bagels....).  I have used a timer in the past with some success (the one one our oven is the one I use but a bigger, more visual one might be helpful as well).  The kids seem to react better (sometimes) if an inanimate object is basically telling them to get a move on.

I have moved my 5 year old's bedtime back closer to 7am to help. 

(including an image of the kind of timer that the kids have seen in daycare, school, etc.)

noryang

Can you put her in the car in her pjs? She is young enough that the modesty issue is NBD in my opinion but it might motivate her a bit if she knows you are wiling to go there. She can always change herself at daycare...

emberlee3

A timer really helps my DS.  We use the one on the microwave.  We are also trying to manage an earlier bedtime, and that seems to be helping.

cwm11985

emberlee3:

A timer really helps my DS.  We use the one on the microwave.  We are also trying to manage an earlier bedtime, and that seems to be helping.

A timer or music is a great idea because you can turn it into a game.  Or make it a "competition" see who can be ready first, her or your 2 year old (with you obviously getting the 2 year old ready). If that doesn't work try a sticker chart, let her pick a reasonable reward for every day she gets up and ready on time (don't make her work the whole week for a reward, she'll get bored...do instant gratification).

brewcitybride

It's hard, isn't it?! I have two kids and getting out the door can be the most stressful part of my day! Are you taking her to daycare? What I have found is that DD loves her teacher and her friends, and that gets her motivated to want to get out the door. Also, I keep some cool toys in the car, where they stay, so if she wants to play with them, she knows she has to get in the car! Sometimes, maybe twice a month, we also will do something special, like stop at McDonald's for an egg mcmuffin. Also, you could keep some fun healthy snacks in the car, but again, she has to get in the car to get them.

I think you are doing great by doing as much as possible the night before. Now I'd try to instill some excitement into the day, instead of just trying to get her to rush!

alli2672

mbenit4:

I know this won't be a popular answer but I don't deal well with this. For me, I will wake you last and if I have to dress you myself and carry you down, I will. I don't have time for this. DD was very much like this. I would tell her she gets no wants - not in the morning. You cannot make everyone late. Of course she didn't want me to dress her so this didn't last long. To this day if she is taking too long, I ask her, do I need to dress you?

I do this same thing.  My four year old has until the count of 5 to start doing stuff on his own, or I will do it for him. 

KathrynMD

I only have one, but she can be an handful in the mornings. I've tried a few different things. I have tried letting her pick her outfit the day before, but that rarely works. Most mornings now, we have a race against each other to see who get ready fastest; we also have 5 and 7 minute hour glass tea timers and we race those pretty often (she gets to pick which color and flip it). We also reward her for being good in the morning w/ a trip to the grocery store or the playground after school w/ DH. I have also found just reminding of what a good girl she is and how proud I am of how well she listens and how well she gets dressed all on her own really helps. and, complimenting her while she's on the edge of really getting upset diffuses the situation b/c she LOVES to listen to praise and then add on to it - and then it functions as a redirection and she'll then go back to doing whatever.

Netty_3

Earlier bedtime?

Maybe encourage her by forcing the hand.  Like first thing say, "thank you so much for getting ready quickly.  Mommy really appreciates your help." Maybe it will help. Or maybe make it a race...like "let's see who can get dressed first you or your sister!"  Good luck!   

JennJenn613

noryang:

Can you put her in the car in her pjs? She is young enough that the modesty issue is NBD in my opinion but it might motivate her a bit if she knows you are wiling to go there. She can always change herself at daycare...

A blogger I read will actually just send the kid to school in their PJs for the day, and if they don't eat breakfast at the table then they just forego breakfast. 4 is probably a little young for the full tough love treatment but I am a firm believer in consequences. If DS1 doesn't do something he is supposed to do (age-appropriate, like helping put away toys), I rarely step in and do it for him. He gets a time out, and that is usually enough to get him moving. When he's older I do foresee attending school in pajamas if it comes to that.

This post makes me sound like hardcore discipline mom but I'm not mean about it or anything... like some other PPs, I just have a low tolerance for this sort of thing. I'm not the type to sit there for 10 minutes gently coaxing my kid to do something. Ain't nobody got time for that.

Bella427

Are we the same person?  I couldn've written this post.  My DD is also 4 going on 14.  Getting my 16 month old ready is much easier than the drama queen!  I started having her get dressed the night before.  Yup, she sleeps in her school clothes.  In the morning she just has to eat breakfast (if she's dragging she brings it in the car) and brush her teeth. 

cfitz16

mbenit4:

I know this won't be a popular answer but I don't deal well with this. For me, I will wake you last and if I have to dress you myself and carry you down, I will. I don't have time for this. DD was very much like this. I would tell her she gets no wants - not in the morning. You cannot make everyone late. Of course she didn't want me to dress her so this didn't last long. To this day if she is taking too long, I ask her, do I need to dress you?

This is me as well.

noryang

JennJenn613:

noryang:

Can you put her in the car in her pjs? She is young enough that the modesty issue is NBD in my opinion but it might motivate her a bit if she knows you are wiling to go there. She can always change herself at daycare...

A blogger I read will actually just send the kid to school in their PJs for the day, and if they don't eat breakfast at the table then they just forego breakfast. 4 is probably a little young for the full tough love treatment but I am a firm believer in consequences. If DS1 doesn't do something he is supposed to do (age-appropriate, like helping put away toys), I rarely step in and do it for him. He gets a time out, and that is usually enough to get him moving. When he's older I do foresee attending school in pajamas if it comes to that.

This post makes me sound like hardcore discipline mom but I'm not mean about it or anything... like some other PPs, I just have a low tolerance for this sort of thing. I'm not the type to sit there for 10 minutes gently coaxing my kid to do something. Ain't nobody got time for that.

I don't see sending your kids to school as tough love at all. Maybe if the child is 14... I see it as practical and a totally reasonable consequence that a four year old an understand. The only catch is if they care....

I do think that a four year old should not be asked to skip breakfast. But they can be invited to eat it in the car or at daycare.