Adult adoptees, opinions?

coriet

Hey ladies.

I'm 5 weeks pregnant and I'm debating whether to wait and tell my birthmother when I tell the rest of my family/DH's family, or tell her around the same time I tell my mom and dad. It's kind of complicated, I guess. Adoptees that have children, when did you tell your birthmoms?

Also for adoptive moms, would you be offended if your child told their birth mother around the same time as you?

It's also kind of complicated on what to tell our baby about my birth mother, and the term grandma and stuff. Just general opinions appreciated.

irismorning

I am sorry that I can not give an accurate answer to this question. Although I am an adult adoptee, I have never had any contact with my birthparents.

I did want to say congratulations and I am sure that everyone will be thrilled!

CaptainSerious

If my sons had a close enough relationship with their biological parents to want to tell them that they were going to have a child at the same time as they told me the good news, I would be absolutely over the moon that they had built that relationship and felt so close to their biological parents.  So no, I would not feel slighted, but this is coming from someone who desperately wishes I had more information about my children's biological parents to share with them.  :-)

Dr.Loretta

I"m an adoptive mom. If DD wanted to tell her BM about a pregnancy around the same time as me, I wouldn't have a problem with it. We're a "the more the merrier" kind of family