Hard decision to make.

Jniagara

So I have been a stay at home mom. But, now I am going to go back to school and work part time. Or at least try. With the career that I want to go into working part time might not even be an option. I want to go into school to become a doctor. I have a 22 month old. My husband works day and night. My question is. Im going to be gone  A LOT of the time. Im going to have to study like crazy and be at school most of the day. Then when residency comes I will also be gone all day.  Im torn between following my dream and spending time with my little man. Any advice from any fellow moms would really help me. Have any other fellow mommies here achieved this while being a mom?. Thanks for the advice.

ljanette85

I considered going back to school when my LO was about 6 months old. Now I have decided to wait until he starts school. I know that I could handle it, but I dont want to miss out. School will always be there but he will only be a little baby for so long. I feel like I would really regret missing out on this time with him. jmo but I hope that it helps.

FemShep

Going in to medicine can be difficult. Do you have the undergrad prerequisites needed for medical school?  If not, are you prepared for 6+ years of school before you start working as a resident?  Are you near a school you could attend?  Are you prepared to move for your residency?

If you haven't worked in healthcare before, you may want to get some hands-on experience before making such a big decision.  

shannm

Working part time and going to med school isn't going to work. At least based on my experience with the more competitive schools in the US. You could go to med school then your residency with a LO but know that it will likely take you over eight years.  (Maybe even more depending on your specialty.  My DH started med school in 1996 and is nearing 40 and still in a "training position" as a fellow with crazy hours.)  In those eight years you are going to need very strong flexible childcare support. Can you afford a nanny? Do you have family nearby to help?  

It can be done, but I wouldn't want to do it at this point in my life.

I agree with PP, get some exposure to the field if you can before you make a decision.  Do you know any physicians?   If so, I bet they would be more than willing to let you shadow them or speak to them about their experience.  Perhaps you could do nursing or a tech field instead for a more flexible training period but still be able to get into the healthcare field.

cfitz16

What about nursing school instead? 

Nechie122

My sister attempted to do this, but decided the craziness of medical school and residency were incompatible with having two young children. She ended up getting a degree in nursing and is now a nurse practitioner. Depending on your state, NPs have a fair amount of autonomy, can write prescriptions, deliver primary care and even subspecialize. And the training is much quicker. So that's something you may want to consider.

My DH is an MD and has very sane hours in a "lifestyle" specialty. However, during residency I barely saw him. Eighty hour work weeks are no joke; you're talking 12 hour "short call" days, 24 hour "long call" days and some 10 hour days for good measure. Nights, weekends, holidays. Missing Christmas and Thanksgiving. For years. And then we had to move 900 miles away from our family and friends for fellowship because his field is so competitive. It's a very long, difficult path that you have to be fully committed to.

The other thing to consider is the debt you'll incur. You may not be able to work "part time" if you have six figures in student loans. DH's student loans, from a state school no less, are as much as daycare. It's like having an extra child.

cindybaf

It can be done. Back in 1979 my mom got laughed at and many doors slammed in her face by med schools because she was married and I was one at the time. One, just one med school said yes to her, and it was u of I at Chicago, half way across the country from where we were living in nj. She was bright though, and my grandparents kept me for several years while she lived in Chicago with my dad to go to school. She took her boards early and did her rotations back in nj, at Princeton. She took meby then my parents were divorced back to Chicago when she got into u of c for her pediatric residency. We lived very frugally, we had a sitter living with us in dorm housing to watch me while she was on call every third nightbut on weekends i preferred to sleep in the hospital with her and hang out in the on call room. all i know was the only sitters we could afford did not speak english! Three years after she finished her pedi residence she decided to do a residency in derm. Like I said, she is bright and loved school. She missed several years of my childhood but I frankly don't remember much from that time and I loved my grandparents and daycares and kindergarten and really did not know any better. BtwI'm fiercely close to my mom. We can read each others minds and I can always finish her sentences. I wanted to sleep in bed with her until I was fourteen. She's my best friend. By the time I was in hs she was done with training. We lived poor for a long time but I didn't know any different, and love is free. But in all my mom loves what she does, has been in the field for 20 years, and was able to spoil me rotten as a teenager and 20 year old, and leads a great life now with financial freedom. I'd still really think about it since its a very long road, but worth it. Btw, I'm a dentist and it does not require a residency, so shorter training!

jeffsjayme

PT doctors do exist - but you won't be in that position for at least 10 years.  If you don't have your bachelor's yet, you have to do that.  Then medical school, then residency, then getting into a practice.

If you want to be in the medical field, try something far less time intensive like nursing or medical assistant or even physician's assistant.  Becoming a doctor with a 22-month old is just way too much of a commitment and time-suck if you ask me. 

Erinmmo

you need to do what is best for you and everything else will fall into place.  you never want to regret anything- life is too short.

my dad recently told me that he started med school when I was a toddler- but stopped-  and he said" you know what, I saw how all those doctors lived to work- and I realized that I didnt want to spend that part of my life working so much- I wanted to be with my family."  He said he never regeretted his decision. 

 

brinaroze1

I'm not technically a mother yet. I'm 28 weeks along, and dealing with my own career issues, though.

In 2009, I was going to community college pursuing a graphic design major. I was really excited about it, and I think it would have been a great career for me. I ended up quitting school, though, after the death of my brother in January 2010. I was severely grieving and couldn't handle the stress of school. I always said I could go back eventually, though.

This is on my mind all the time. I would love to quit working retail, and make my own hours. Possibly even work from home. So for me, I just need to organize my life in order to be able to go back to school. I've even thought about online schooling. In the long run, I think it would be best for me and my baby. I don't want to end up regretting not reaching this goal.

I say, if you have a passion for this line of work, you can find a way to make it happen. Of course, there are going to be sacrifices you have to make. As a previous poster mentioned, though, her mother went to med school and fulfilled her dream even though she had to go through a lot of hard times to do it.  

Bazinga86

I work full time and it is hard to be away from LO. I feel that, if I didnt have to work, I would work as part time as possible until LO started school. If you can hold off, maybe give it until he is in school most of the day - that way you get in all the mommy and me time you both need while he is still so young... but you still get to follow your dream. Perhaps look into some online courses that you can take in the meantime... my boss has been doing that for years.

chels0120

I can COMPLETELY relate! I was a SAHM when we moved to California a year and a half ago. I decided that I wanted to go back to school for sonography because I've always wanted to. But this required me going back to work fulltime to afford tuition and putting DS in daycare all day. I go to school Monday through Thursday from 6-10 pm and I work Monday through Friday 6:30 a.m. to 5:00 p.m. So I never get to see DS and DH during the week which is SO HARD! But I'm 6 month away from finishing my 2 year schooling and while it hasn't been easy, I think it was worth the sacrifice. I figure that my child(ren) aren't going to be at home forever and I'll be mad at myself if I wait until the next one we have is in kindergarten (I'll be 35 by that time if we are able to conceive at the beginning of the year). While this isn't full blown med school, I would still encourage you to do it!! You'll be an incredible role model for your kids teaching them they can achieve anything they put their mind to!

Jniagara

Thanks to all for the wonderful and helpful advice. Its a really hard decision to make. I know I want to go into the medical field to help people. Its always been a dream I have had. Money and daycare for my son SO FAR has not been an issue, but im sure i will change my mind once I have to pay my tuition. My husband and all involved in this decision. *parents* (because they will be the main ones watching our son while we work. We have decided that If it is really what I want to do, then go ahead and push on. As of right now im still looking into pursing a career as a doctor but have not ruled out any other sort of medical professions. Such as a nurse and medical assistant. And all the others choices. I have until the spring to make up my mind, but i have already started doing some research. As far as it comes to me spending some time with my son. I sure will miss him. My child IS MY LIFE. I have been blessed enough to be able to spend the first 2 years of his life with him, Thanks to my husband who decided I should stay with him. BUT in the long run, I think me having a career and being a happy woman/wife and mom will be worth me sacrificing time away with him. I will miss him terribly. But this will help us out more in the long run. My husband and I both have made the decision and he and my parents stand behind me. And that means more to me than they will EVER know.

 

If anyone here has a career in the medical field, please do share with me. What it is that you do and the school requirement that you need for it. Thank you all in helping me make this decision one bit easier for me.