Adoption in va

ufsandra85

We live in va and we were set on using a private agency out of ca. Then I got into the military. My husband is also in the military. We are afraid no one will want us because we are both military. He will not deploy for several years and then he retires but I am set to go on a humanitarian mission in the spring. When I called the state I was told that va doesn't do infant adoptions and that if we want a baby / infant / toddler we needed to use a private agency. Anyone else in va with advice? Any agencies where the birth mom doesn't pick you? We are awesome people and will be amazing parents but I'm just scared to death to put forth a bunch of money and never get picked.

trigirl79

I live in VA as well. By "the state doesn't do infant adoptions" I assume you mean foster care? We are looking at a national agency as well. Not in the military but just FYI, I think a lot of agencies will work with you. GL

DaisyZH

Are you looking to adopt from foster care or do a domestic infant adoption?  I wouldn't worry too much about the military, as far as being chosen some people may see it as a positive thing that you are serving your country.  Every expectant parent is different and looking for different things in a family. 

If you are looking to do foster care and want to adopt an infant you may be able to do foster-to-adopt where you become foster parents and if the child that you are fostering has parental rights terminated and becomes available for adoption, you would be able to do adopt them provided no family comes forward for a kinship placement.  Every state is so different, I'd definately ask for more information.

ufsandra85

thanks! we want to do infant adoption but not foster to adopt. when I called the state of VA they said they didnt offer that. I never looked it as people thinking being in the military as a positive. Most people just give me a hard time about serving and wanting to be a mom. I hope there are moms out there who think of it positively 3 months ago we were about to write the check to adoption network law center when i had doubts and I am glad we didnt go with them now because I have read so many bad things. It is so hard to make a decision on something so important to me. thank you for your help

lafayettegirl

Unless you find your own placement, I would go with an agency for infant adoption. We're in VA too. We started off with a VA agency, but are unhappy with them. (PM me if you want more info) We then started working with a consultant out of state who connected us to a number of agencies, also out of state. We've been live with the VA agency since January, and only be shown once. Since we started with the consultant (in August) we've been shown 10 times at least.

I'll be happy to give you a run down of who we are working with, the costs (we have not paid a lot up front), and who I would recommend. I can also put you in touch with the attorney we've spoken to here in Northern VA, if you are interested in speaking with him. 

Infant adoption is very possible in VA, you just have to be pro-active about it by going to an agency or finding your own BM.

ufsandra85

Thank you! I really appreciate your help. Last night i found out my dad has cancer so I think we are going to put everything on hold for a little bit because it is a lot to deal with. I really appreciate your offer and when things arent so emotionally crazy   I will contact you