Update on Separation Anxiety

Athena0809

So I Took DS to the gym not expecting anything. When I saw he clung to my leg for minutes I knew this was serious. The ladies there suggested I stay with him, play, leave for 5 min then come back. We have been there 4 times now to get him acclimated and all four time I have only left him for 5 min and I find him in crying : and when he sees me he cries harder it's so pitiful. I don't know how long this is going to take

2BlackCats

You are making it worse by going back in after 5 minutes.  Just leave and go work out.

Trust me, he will get over it.  I see it at daycare drop offs all the time.   The baby cries, clings and takes a fit.  The parent leaves, the baby cries a bit longer, get's distracted by a toy/activity and forgets all about their parents.

 

kelly321

2BlackCats:

You are making it worse by going back in after 5 minutes.  Just leave and go work out.

Trust me, he will get over it.  I see it at daycare drop offs all the time.   The baby cries, clings and takes a fit.  The parent leaves, the baby cries a bit longer, get's distracted by a toy/activity and forgets all about their parents.

 

That makes it sound easy, but Steph, I wouldn't be able to do it, either. I say just keep at it and hopefully he'll start to grow used to it. Don't give up yet!

toadstool

kelly321:

2BlackCats:

You are making it worse by going back in after 5 minutes.  Just leave and go work out.

Trust me, he will get over it.  I see it at daycare drop offs all the time.   The baby cries, clings and takes a fit.  The parent leaves, the baby cries a bit longer, get's distracted by a toy/activity and forgets all about their parents.

 

That makes it sound easy, but Steph, I wouldn't be able to do it, either. I say just keep at it and hopefully he'll start to grow used to it. Don't give up yet!

It's harder on you than it is on the child. And I agree that you are making it harder on him to keep coming back after 5 minutes. I was a sub at a daycare for a short period of time. The kids do get over it once they get  distracted.

2BlackCats

kelly321:

2BlackCats:

You are making it worse by going back in after 5 minutes.  Just leave and go work out.

Trust me, he will get over it.  I see it at daycare drop offs all the time.   The baby cries, clings and takes a fit.  The parent leaves, the baby cries a bit longer, get's distracted by a toy/activity and forgets all about their parents.

 

That makes it sound easy, but Steph, I wouldn't be able to do it, either. I say just keep at it and hopefully he'll start to grow used to it. Don't give up yet!

I never said it was easy.  There are mornings where she clings to me and cries. Her teacher distracts her and I sneak out.  I'll watch from the window and can see she is fine.  We both survive and she loves me no less for it.  

 

Athena0809

I should know better too, I used work at a daycare 100 years ago but it's different when it's your kid, I remember telling the moms "just leave, he'll be fine".

I won't give up. We'll go as many times as necessary for him to get used to it. The whole "come back after 5 minutes" thing was the room attendants' idea.

Their policy is they don't let any kid cry for over 15, they come and get you if they do. So I guess that's what we'll have to do.

lizardknitter

Stupid as it sounds, have you practiced at home?  V knows that when I say that I'm going X (out of the room, out of the house, etc.) for so many minutes that I am always coming back.  I started by going in another room and telling her that I was going to be back in 1 minute.  Every so many days, I added a minute until we got to 3, then 5, then 10.  She does very well now for 30 minutes as long as she has something to do.

Good luck! 

Athena0809

lizardknitter:

Stupid as it sounds, have you practiced at home?  V knows that when I say that I'm going X (out of the room, out of the house, etc.) for so many minutes that I am always coming back.  I started by going in another room and telling her that I was going to be back in 1 minute.  Every so many days, I added a minute until we got to 3, then 5, then 10.  She does very well now for 30 minutes as long as she has something to do.

Good luck! 

Not crazy, I do work part time and I'm in school part time, when I'm gone DS stays with either DH or my mom and I always say, "mommy is going to_____, give me a kiss, I'll be back, love you" he obliges to the kiss and happily waves bye bye to me and he's perfectly fine. It's the "new" surroundings/people I think.

prisschris

We've stopped going to church because she's too rowdy to attend mass and I can't bear to drop her off at the nursery considering she goes to daycare 5 days a week.