Help: LO wants to be held 24/7

lisastro

Someone please help me before I die of sleep deprivation. LO is 3 days old. We got home from the hospital yesterday. For the last 2 days, he will not let us put him down. He will fall asleep in our arms, but if we put him down, he starts screaming within 5 minutes. As a result, we are getting no sleep at all. We're trying to take turns at night, but when I hold him my eyes start closing & I'm terrified I'm going to fall asleep & drop him. I'm scared to be alone with him because of that, but DH has to sleep some time. What can we do? Help!

mben1119

Have you tried swaddling?  Or a rock n play or swing? 

catapult32

Piper did that when she was really little, and she would NOT be swaddled, so what I did was just sleep with her. I piled up some pillows under my arm or slept on the couch and put her on the side that was by the back of the couch. After a week I tried putting her on her boppy for naps and the first part of the night (since she still woke up in the night to eat) after nursing she wouldn't be put back down so I would just hold her. Later she got more comfortable with being in the boppy and would nap and sleep most of the night in it. Eventually I was able to phase out the boppy and now she sleeps in her crib for naps and bedtime, but it took 2 months before she was able to do that.

GL!

sinisforgiven

https://kellymom.com/ages/newborn/bf-basics/second-night/

 

They gave me this same article in a handout at the hospital. It explains why your baby is acting that way. This "second night" phase can last quite a while, and it's totally normal. Do your best to take turns with the baby so you can each get an hour or two of sleep at a time, several times per day. 

FWIW, I also co-sleep as a solution to my LO not wanting to sleep in his rock'n'play or bassinet. 

MuddyInsignia

DD is like that now... I would suggest swaddling and setting her down to sleep, let her cry a bit if you need to, don't hold her in a dangerous situation if you are too tired, it is MUCH better for her to cry than to drop her. That said, DH and I are now considering co-sleeping as DD will sleep 6 hours through the night if sleeping between us in a proper co-sleeping position, but only 1.5 hours straight in the bassinet. So, I know your feeling and I would recommend looking at all the proper recommendations for co-sleeping. Another suggestions, trade off: let DH watch her while you get sleep and vice versa--this way you can each get some. 

Aisham28

Mine used to be the same way and it turned out it was because of me that she turned out that way lol. I would recommend reading the Baby Whisperer if you already haven't. It helped me a TON. Now I can get her to sleep in her crib without problems (most of the time). But in the meantime what I always did was lay her on the side of me and sleep on my back on the couch that way you dont have to worry about dropping him or rolling over on him.

blowfish11

Thats completely normal. It's an instinct, an innate NEED to be held at that age.

 

And really, what did you expect? For your newborn to come home and revolve around your schedule? 

NerdyMama2

When DD is like that I put her in the Ergo and I'm free to do whatever.

sadsadie

AmyG*:

Please don't sleep holding baby propped up on pillows or on the couch! MOST cosleeping deaths occur due to those kinds of dangerous locations--couches babies roll off or roll between mom and couch cushions and suffocates and when you are exhausted you just don't notice.  And sleeping propped up on pillows means there are a lot of pillows in bed that baby can roll off into and suffocate. 

just make your bed flat, firm mattress, tuck in the covers, don't use covers or pillows near baby, make sure there is no crack between headboard ang nightstands that baby can get caught in, and don't cosleep when doing drugs or alchol.  make it safe and lay down and sleep.

NEEDING to be held 24/7 is normal for a newborn.  They'be been held and comforted within you for the last 9 months.  They have never felt cold, alone, or hunger.  Their instinct is to be as close to you as possible and latched on to ensure their survival.  you aren't doing anything wrong by holding your baby, and baby is doing exactly what they are programmed to do--cry if they are alone to ensure they aren't ever left alone.  It's annoying, and it's hard work, but it's what having a newborn is all about at first.

 

Thank you for saying this. The couch, the boppy...these are NOT safe places to have a baby sleep. Look into proper co-sleeping and do whatever it takes to put safety first.

Also, of course they want to be held 24/7! Get a wrap carrier or a sling for during the day and just go with it!  

bearkatjen

NerdyMama2:

When DD is like that I put her in the Ergo and I'm free to do whatever.

This. My moby was my life line early on. DS was good at sleeping next to me in the pnp at night, but the rest of his day was spent in the moby or in my arms nursing or being held by DS. All of his naps were in the moby, and he slept beautifully that way, and eventually kept taking good naps without the moby. Good luck! It gets better!

Neener73

Don't be afraid to ask a friend or relative to hang out with LO, so you can take a nap. 

lisastro

blowfish11:

Thats completely normal. It's an instinct, an innate NEED to be held at that age.

 

And really, what did you expect? For your newborn to come home and revolve around your schedule? 

Not at all. But I did expect him to sleep in his pack n play for an hour a couple of times a day. My nephew did. And my LO slept in the bassinet at the hospital  a little the first night.