If you had to stop BF early on....

LouRN09

Hey ladies. Due to severe latch issues and unhealing breast trauma, the concept of FF is looking more and more of a reality now. Yes I've tried a nipple shield and EP to give them a xhance to heal. Im meeting with the 47th LC tomorrow. I nursed DS1 without any issues for a year so this is a whole new ball game for me.

If you had to stop BF early on, like within the first few weeks, what happened? I cry at the thought of it and feel so incredibly guilty. How did you get past that? Any words of advice or encouragement on making such a decision?

danieliza1127

I switched to EP at 3 weeks.  BFing was just a negative experience for me.  I felt trapped, I was having a lot of depression and anxiety, and pain and bleeding.  I had to use nipple shields which were a hassle in themselves and then I couldn't wean the baby off of them.  I finally just started pumping and stuck with it.  It's been 8 weeks now and the pumping is going great and I feel really good that my LO is still getting breastmilk.

Now, I don't know if you are a SAHM or if you work.  I think EPing would be hard for a SAHM for sure.  It's easy for me because I work and would have pumped at work anyway.  

It's such a hard decision all the way around.  I was really close to quitting completely and felt like all I thought about for weeks was BFing and how bad it was going and how bad it made me feel.  Happy mom means happy baby and you have to do what is best for you and your baby.  And remember, formula is not evil!  Plenty of babies only get formula and are perfectly healthy and happy.  Your baby won't know one way or the other until he/she is an adult and it comes up when they have a baby.

LouRN09

Thanks for your reply! I will be returning to work here in 4 short weeks and will be mostly pumping then anyways. As much as I want him on the breast, I know I can still give him some BM with the pump. I eventually had to supplement with DS1 b/c my supply had dropped due to all the pumping. I just wish my nipples didn't look like raw meat or have chunks missing from them!

kelbel527

With DS1 I stopped BFing at 3 weeks and EP'd for another 3 weeks.  I was crying every single night for the first 3 weeks and just couldn't do it any longer.

I felt guilty for quite awhile, especially because we had to go through 3 formulas to get him to one that worked.  He had a dairy allergy that became even more apparent once we went to formula.

2 1/2 years later, I know I made the right decision with him and realize that I fed my baby the best way I could.

Now of course, I learned a lot through that experience and am doing much better BFing DS2, but when (if) we go to formula, I know not to beat myself up about it.

At the end of the day, you're doing the best you can.  Don't feel guilty about formula and remember that a happy mom is important.  GL!

bitsybubbles7

I quit bfing at 3 weeks, I just couldn't do it.  Bfing made me feel trapped and unhappy and I felt terribly guilty about thinking about quitting.  Then my mom put it in perspective: I tried, it wasn't working.  Both dh and I were formula fed and we're fine.  Once I quit, it was like I was a whole new person.   

I had pumped enough while bf that we were able to ease lo into formula by mixing 1/2 bm and 1/2 formula bottles.  We did have to switch lo to the gentle formula, but otherwise he did great.  The only advice I'd give is DON'T quit cold turkey... your tits will balloon up, get rock hard; you can't even sleep on them because they hurt like h*ll and then explode all over your sheets.  It was 5 days of agony.  Do a gradual stop. 

Good Luck!!!

bitsybubbles7

Oh you're lucky.  I was a walking, leaking Pam Anderson lol.

ILoveRunning

Lurker butting in-

Have any of the previous LCs looked for a tongue tie?  I would bring it up at your next appointment and see if she could diagnosis or refer you to someone else who can.

Good luck! 

MrsLettie

When I BF'd DS I had a horrendous crack that refused to heal from 2 weeks till about 8ish weeks. I would cry every time it got close to his time to eat. I tried everything. When I went to my OB for the 6 week visit he just looked at it and literally said "I've seen worse". 2 weeks later I had a UTI and was given antibiotics, within a 2 day period the crack was healed and completely gone. All that to say maybe it's infected? I didn't see any sign of it and obviously my doctor didn't think it was either. Maybe just one more thing to try? Good luck.

byrne15

I BFed ds for 3.5 weeks.  I saw the LC 3 times because ds had such a painful latch.  By the 3rd day I was sobbing every time I was nursing him.  Once I got a nipple sheild it was soooo much better.  I was actually starting to enjoy Bfing.  Then, after ds screaming and pooping mucous, we discovered he had a milk protein allergy.  I tried eating dairy.soy free, but that only lasted for 2 days because I am such a picky eater.

Anyway, I stop BFing and felt terrible.  I cried and felt so guilty.  After a few days I started to feel better about my choice (I was still pumping to slowly dry up my milk).  Now, I feel 95% happy about FFing.  There are moments where I miss nursing, but I know I made the right choice.  I gave it all I had and I can't be sorry for that.

I hope you are able to come to terms with whatever choice you make.  You are mom and you know what is best for you and your baby.

daisy662

My little guy was in the NICU for 16 days. I tried very hard to bf but had to pump because I couldn't be at the NICU for every feeding. Pumping wasn't working for me. The only time anything would come out was when he actually fed from my breast. I was miserable and anxious about it. I hated pumping, it hurt and I was lucky to produce an ounce per time. My DH was encouraging me to keep at it or I would have stopped by day 3. I kept at it for about 2 weeks and finally just gave up. Everyone kept telling me my milk would come in and it would get better, but it didn't. I was having some baby blues due to DS being in the NICU and bf'ing was giving me added stress I didn't need. I felt a little guilty about stopping, but that only lasted a day or so. Then, I didn't look back and was so glad I gave it up. It just wasn't for me. 

Good luck!

mamaHippo23

The more I started talking to people about it, the more I realized how silly it was to stress over BF vs. FF. My grandma FF all 6 of her kids and my MIL did with both her boys. There are so many intelligent, happy, successful people out there who were FF and you would never know the difference unless you directly ask. It took me a while to get over my guilt, but then I realized I don't want to spend all my time stressing over such a minor thing. Being a parent means making millions of hard, complicated choices, so I might as well learn now to go with my instincts and not second guess myself.

CnAnA

We had latching issues too.  She would scream and scream and exert more energy than she was getting from the time she spent eating.  My supply is next to non existant because of it.  I do pump a few times a day, but she is mostly FF.

The way I look at it, there is no wrong way to feed your baby.  FF, BF, doesn't matter, as long as the baby is getting fed and stays healthy!  Good luck, and I hope you are able to make peace with your decision.