Is it too late: damage due to too much tv

cs1007

My three year old is COMPLETELY obsessed with tv. He would watch it ALL the time if he could. It is a huge battle,and  I am very sensitive to it, so I have been trying to really keep an eye on the clock/how much he watches. I SAH with him (and my 4 month old DS#2), and I try to limit to 30-40 minutes in the AM with breakfast and then 45+ at night while I am cooking....

Problem is, I think when he was younger, I let him watch *MORE* than the recommended 2 hours a day at times. We had a cold/snowy winter, so getting outside and playing was not always an option and I think at times I allowed too much. We get out/wet out every day to library, museums, playdates, swim classes,....but after sitting on the floor playing for HOURS, I would take a 'break' and let him watch some tv.

All I keep hearing and reading now is how bad tv is for kids and how it can lead to ADHD...I am worrying that I caused damage to his little growing brain by allowing this to happen...:(

diana.filipi

Here's my take, you can change the rules at any time, you don't have to be 'fair' about what was normal and what the new rule now makes normal.  I am sure someone will point to some study that says the damage is done or some crap like that but really, I think if you go ahead and change the rule and stick to it all will be right in the world.

We had too much tv for a bit too right after DS was born.  My husband watches a lot of tv too.  News and news shows are on all the time.  It's all good.  As she's getting a little older we've set time of day rules.  No tv in the middle of the day (except when DH is home for lunch :-/ and then no tv 'till 4pm are the things I say out loud.

carlab44

I agree with the PP that you can change the rules at any time. You just need to outline the rules and stick with them. Once he is more okay with the rules you can have special days where you allow more tv or allow it at different hours, but I'd be pretty strict in the beginning.

We have two kids - DD is 6 and DS is 3. We try and limit their tv to 2 20-minute shows in the evening before bed. We don't watch any tv in the morning because it just causes problems. It is difficult to get going with our day because they whine more, try to negotiate more time, etc. And we don't turn it on until they have had dinner and have their jammies on.

heymommy

Unplug it. I unplugged my tv when my older kids were 3 and 6 one night after they went to bed. The next morning I played dumb and said.. Hmm must be broken. We did not turn it back on for 18 months. They were addicted, there was major withdrawal for about a week. Soon they were playing again like they had never played before. It was the best thing i ever did ( other than private school).

I don't know if I beleive the tv causes ADHD thing. I think you either ave ADHD or you don't, tv watching just makes it worse. 

dragon_chica

Ditto everyone else.  You're the parent therefore you make the decisions.  I would suggest providing new activities at the ready for when your LO is expecting it's TV time.

MMMiller

ADHD is a chemical thing, so don't worry about that.  It sounds like you're doing well with a little in the morning and then some in the evening.  He'll get used to it...I'm sure there are children out there who watch way more tv who are fine and some that watch a lot less and aren't.  Do what you and your family are comfortable with.

mamainseptember

I don't think you've done anything wrong with your children. I think you need to set new rules that you're comfortable with. My little brother (who's now 18) watched more TV/video games then any person I've ever met and now he's deciding between an Ivy league and another great school for college! DS watches about an hour total during the day but it was a lot more prior to me opening an in home daycare. Change the rules if it makes you feel better! 

jannv11

Some days that all DS wants to do and other days he doesn't even ask me to turn it on.  I think a break and a little tv time isn't bad.  We all do what we have to do to get  things done around the house.  30 minutes in the morning and a show while I'm cooking dinner is my rule.  Sometimes if I really need a break or if we are going somewhere later in the day I turn a movie on in the afternoon hoping DS will nap and sometimes he does and other times he doesn't.  You didn't do any demand to him and don't let studies tell you different.   

Jen&Len

You can start new rules whenever you want.   We use a timer at home for using the computer (which DS is obsessed with), maybe you can try that.  Have something fun planned for when the timer goes off so you can tell him, after it goes off, we can do XYZ.

I know I let DS watch way more than 2 hrs of TV per day when I was preggo with DD and for about a year after I had her.  I was exhausted and in total survival mode.  He's fine and learned his entire alphabet by 17 months (letter recognition and phonetics) by watching the Letter Factory a billion times.

As long as you are actively doing stuff with him other than just TV, I think you're fine!

JoannaJes

Jen&Len:

You can start new rules whenever you want.   We use a timer at home for using the computer (which DS is obsessed with), maybe you can try that.  Have something fun planned for when the timer goes off so you can tell him, after it goes off, we can do XYZ.

I know I let DS watch way more than 2 hrs of TV per day when I was preggo with DD and for about a year after I had her.  I was exhausted and in total survival mode.  He's fine and learned his entire alphabet by 17 months (letter recognition and phonetics) by watching the Letter Factory a billion times.

As long as you are actively doing stuff with him other than just TV, I think you're fine!

Ditto! 

OP, the fact that you are even concerned about his TV watching tells me that he is not "damaged". Towards the end of my second pregnancy, and then the first year of DD's life, our TV was on a lot. We were just trying to make it through a long winter with a lot of colds and sickness keeping us at home and a DH that was traveling for work all of the time. They will all be okay. : ) 

kcisthebombdotcom

There's no point on dwelling what you did in the past. You can't change it. All you can do is do better moving forward.

With that being said, I don't think that a short period of life where a child watched greater than 2 hours of TV will cause ADHD alone. There are other factors that contribute to the disorder besides television watching. Correlation =/= causation.

I do think TV can be a beneficial tool but overusing it is harmful. I would set rules for the TV and stick to them. He can have x show at x time, but once it's over, it's all done. Redirect him to another activity. If he asks for a television show tell him he can watch a show later after you do xyz. If he tantrums, tell him he has the choice to cry and be upset or he can play and do something fun. Usually the child will take the latter. He will quickly adapt to the new TV regime.

countrymice06

I don't feel like reading all of the responses, but I was going to add something that might ease your mind.  I hate my DD to watch tv, but there are different kids of tv. Watching Curious George isn't like watching Sponge Bob.  Studies have shown that slow-moving shows (while not GOOD obviously) are less detrimental than shows that have lots of flashing lights and movement.  

I remember reading a study once where there were three groups of kids.  One group watched SpongeBob, one watched a slow moving children's show, and one colored pictures with crayons.  I forget the details, but the point was there was no difference between the group who watched the slow show and the group that drew.  

I hope that helps! 

countrymice06

I don't feel like reading all of the responses, but I was going to add something that might ease your mind.  I hate my DD to watch tv, but there are different kids of tv. Watching Curious George isn't like watching Sponge Bob.  Studies have shown that slow-moving shows (while not GOOD obviously) are less detrimental than shows that have lots of flashing lights and movement.  

I remember reading a study once where there were three groups of kids.  One group watched SpongeBob, one watched a slow moving children's show, and one colored pictures with crayons.  I forget the details, but the point was there was no difference between the group who watched the slow show and the group that drew.  

Of course, if I were you, I would unplug it.  I just wanted to reassure you about any "damage" you are afraid of.   

 

anonsouthernbell

Agree w pp...let yourself off the hook, what's one is done....did want to say that I think the recommendation is 20 min max screen time a day