Need Advice :(

vonne0

I had my first child in July which is also my parents first biological grandchild. My parents have been coming over almost everyday and calling at least 5 times a day if not more. Well, my SO has become frustrated and feel they need to give us more space. He wants me to tell them that they are coming over and calling to much. I feel bad about telling them something like this but I understand where he is coming from also. I need advice on how to handle this? I'm basically getting frustrated with everyone. I just want to take my LO and relocate.

SunAndRain

I prefer the direct but gentle approach.  "Mom and Dad, I feel very fortunate to have you both so nearby because you have been such a great help to me with LO. However, I feel like it is time to begin to reduce our visits and calls.  Why don't we get together this weekend?  I'll call you on Friday to confirm a time."

Then, if they show unannounced, don't answer the door or tell them that you are napping and now isn't a good time. When they call, tell them that you'll speak with them in a couple days.  If they call too soon, let the call go to voicemail.

Refrain from placing blame on your FI.  You both need your space from your parents. 

Keep it short and sweet.  Let them know that they are appreciated.  But be firm when setting new boundaries.

JAL102129

SunAndRain:

I prefer the direct but gentle approach.  "Mom and Dad, I feel very fortunate to have you both so nearby because you have been such a great help to me with LO. However, I feel like it is time to begin to reduce our visits and calls.  Why don't we get together this weekend?  I'll call you on Friday to confirm a time."

Then, if they show unannounced, don't answer the door or tell them that you are napping and now isn't a good time. When they call, tell them that you'll speak with them in a couple days.  If they call too soon, let the call go to voicemail.

Refrain from placing blame on your FI.  You both need your space from your parents. 

Keep it short and sweet.  Let them know that they are appreciated.  But be firm when setting new boundaries.

 

All of this. I think first time grandparents get so caught up in their joy and love for the new baby that they forget how they're constant visiting affects the parents. I think everything said above is perfect.

bitsybubbles7

My entire family lives within a 50 miles radius so I know what you mean.  My parents live next door and my mom was over everyday for the first two weeks.  But I actually didn't mind much, she would come in the morning and take lo so I would SHOWER (dear sweet uninterrupted 20 minute shower).  When I had had enough, I would just tell her it was time to go; she understood.  If only my in-laws could get this memo!