wasnt sure where to post about this...

Ethansmommy18

My last pregnancy I had a HORRIBLE vaginal birth experience I ripped horribly 4th degree to be exact. My blood pressure dropped super low and Ethan's heart rate stopped due to the cord being around his neck. I pushed for two hours and was in labor for over 30. It was not a enjoyable peaceful experience. Dont get me wrong I know birth isnt fun but I wanted to be able to take in each moment and did not get that. I was in pain for months after words and had to carry a pillow to sit on everywhere I went for 4 months. My question is I am debating talking to my doctor this go round ( which is a different doc as we now live in a new state) about doing a c-section while I know that isnt fun either at least a have a semi idea what to expect versus having a vaginal birth and possibly tearing again. I am not saying a c-section couldnt come with its own set of problems I am just hoping I wont have the experience I had last go round.

iloveu4ever

I had the almost the same experience. I was in labor for about 12 hours but in so much pain didn't eat a damn thing.

abell77

I am so sorry you had such an unpleasant experience last time.  Giving birth is usually never easy, but it doesn't have to be traumatic.  If you are asking for opinions, I would urge you to avoid a c-section.  A c-section is major surgery, and has more risks associated with it than a vaginal birth.  Also, please keep in mind that no two births are alike, and that second births are usually easier than the first.  I had two radically different birth experiences, and my second was so much easier than my first.  

hopecounts

Having had a c/s I'm going to urge you not to go for one.

c/s are major surgery and carry all the risks of surgery.

You won't be able to pick up your toddler for 6 weeks. It can and does interfere with BFing. If you want a 3 rd child a repeat c/s puts you at 3 times the risk of death and fighting for a VBAC is hard as I'm learning.

instead I would educate yourself on things you can do to reduce the odds of tearing (different pushing positions and mother directed pushing, perineal massage, etc.) and coping methods for labor that might work better for you. 

Celyn

I empathize with you.  I so rarely see a 4th degree tear.  My heart always goes out to those moms.  The recovery is hard, physically and emotionally.

1 in 4 women in the US describe their birth experience as traumatic.  I mention that for you to know that you are not alone.  It's very common to experience post traumatic stress as a result, so your fear of a repeat is totally normal.  C-section recovery is not easy though.  Do you know why your labor was so long and painful, or why you had a 4th degree tear, like the baby was posterior, or still stuck up very high when they used suction or forceps?  If so, do you feel there is anything you can do to start labor in better circumstances?

The Housewife

I'm sorry you had such a bad experience last time. I think you should talk to your Dr about what may have contributed to your tear last time. I also think that you deserve to have a birth that you desire, and if after researching you decide that is a c-section, then I hope you get that. Good luck!

iris427

Celyn:

I empathize with you.  I so rarely see a 4th degree tear.  My heart always goes out to those moms.  The recovery is hard, physically and emotionally.

1 in 4 women in the US describe their birth experience as traumatic.  I mention that for you to know that you are not alone.  It's very common to experience post traumatic stress as a result, so your fear of a repeat is totally normal.  C-section recovery is not easy though.  Do you know why your labor was so long and painful, or why you had a 4th degree tear, like the baby was posterior, or still stuck up very high when they used suction or forceps?  If so, do you feel there is anything you can do to start labor in better circumstances?

OP, I don't know what the right option is for you, and only you can decide that.   my c/s recovery was much easier than the recovery you describe after your 4th degree tear.  Perhaps my c/s experience was unusually easy, but my point is that there are good and bad experiences with both types of delivery.  I also had no problems BFing after my c/s.  That said, c/s does carry some risk and it can complicate things if you get pregnant again (i.e. if you want to deliver vaginally).  But I think quality of life and your happiness are just as important as other medical factors.  GL with whatever you decide. 

sbevmc09

I ended up with an unplanned C/S last time and recovery was not easy.  I'm a huge proponent of VBAC and I'm planning for a VBAC for this baby.  I would NOT want another C/S and would only go down that path if the risks/benefits were more in favor of a C/S than a vaginal delivery.

However, I also know that recovering from a 4th degree tear is hard.  I don't blame you at all for exploring your options.  I have a friend who had a 4th degree tear and as a result of that developed other complications because it did not heal properly.  She ultimately decided to go with a C/S for her 2nd baby per her doctor's recommendations.  

If I were you, I'd just explore your options.  Definitely keep in mind that even though you had a negative experience last time (I did too, I know it's hard to keep positive) you are certainly not guaranteed to have a negative experience again.  It could be the exact opposite this time!  I would talk to your care provider, see what they recommend and why they recommend that.  I don't know much about tears so I would also look into what the risks are as far as another severe tear if you go the vaginal route.  As PPs have suggested I would also try to figure out why you had such a rough time, was it position?  Were you induced?  Did you do anything to try to prevent tearing (such as not pushing on your back, perineal massage, did they support your perineum during pushing, etc.)?  This is definitely a situation where you're going to have to weigh your pros and cons, risks and benefits. 

blueeyedgirl27

First of all, I'm really sorry you had such a traumatic birth experience. Post-traumatic stress is not uncommon after such a birth and can rear its ugly head during subsequent pregnancies, so before making a decision on your next delivery perhaps counseling might help (if you haven't done so already that is!) Definitely talk to your doctor about your feelings, every woman has the right to experience the best possible birth that they can whether it's vaginal or surgical. I don't know the circumstances surrounding your tear (use of forceps/vacuum, large baby, episiotomy, etc), but it's entirely possible to have a trauma-free vaginal birth this time around. One thing to keep in mind is that some insurance companies will not cover what they consider to be "elective c-sections" so check with your insurance company on this. GL!

RockyMtnMama

blueeyedgirl27:

First of all, I'm really sorry you had such a traumatic birth experience. Post-traumatic stress is not uncommon after such a birth and can rear its ugly head during subsequent pregnancies, so before making a decision on your next delivery perhaps counseling might help (if you haven't done so already that is!) Definitely talk to your doctor about your feelings, every woman has the right to experience the best possible birth that they can whether it's vaginal or surgical.

I agree with this. 

Also, reading Birthing from Within or taking one of their classes might help b/c they specifically look at traumatic births and recovery from that.

That being said, I had a 4th degree tear with my second and honestly, it hurt and healed about the same as my 1st degree/stretching with my first.  I'm not sure if it was b/c I had a specialist (perinatologist) do the repair (my midwives and the doc at the hospital said it was best to have a perinatologist do that), or if my tear was just a different location (back toward the anus instead of forward, which I hear are way worse).  I would stress that you should talk with a perinatologist or specialist about the repair and see if maybe there is something to do with that, which caused so much pain. 

Also, my first birth was 26+ hours (pretty typical for a marathon first birth with most of my friends) and my second was <6 hours and really more relaxed.  I can't speak to this third, but every doc/midwife I interviewed said that having a 4th degree tear with one baby does not mean you'll have another and likely you won't (at least for the 3 years I waited between kids, I guess if it's under a year before you're pregnant again, it can be less healed.) 

I'm not an expert, just wanted to share with you that there are probably other options and ideas to consider than assuming you'll have to have another surgery (yes, I consider fixing a 4th degree tear a surgery).  Good luck with your decisions that will work for you. 

giraffe54

I'm a lurker here because I desperately wanted a natural birth, but ended up with a planned c-section because LO was footling breech, so I suspect my take is a little different. FWIW, I had a super-easy, amazing c-section with absolutely zero complications and super quick recovery but I'm very disappointed I didn't experience labor. I absolutely will VBAC for #2 if possible but there's no question that my c-section experience was as perfect as it gets.

The point of a natural birth, IMO, is to minimize the risks of labor and maximize the benefits to mom and LO. It's not to be politically correct or to prove a point to the medical system. It's about risk-management because we cannot predict the outcome of our birth experience and LO's health. You cannot predict all variables, like my breech baby, but you know some ahead of time - for you, anxiety over the trauma of your last birth is a real issue (and I'm really sorry you had that experience). You could have a c-section and end up with a traumatic experience as well. But, though c-sections have risks, they are still small. A third of births are c-sections and we don't have an endemic of ruined women across the country. Vag births - natural or medicated - also carry risks. You need to come to the decision you can live with and feel safest with. That is the most important thing - not natural birth at all costs because sometimes natural birth is not the safest or healthiest option. 

tomkat2010

I also lurk here, b/c I wanted a natural birth as well, and will hopefully be able to have a VBAC next time (doctor is all for it). But I just wanted to say that as someone who had a planned c-section against my wishes, it was a simple, easy, smooth experience. Before, during, and afterward. Easy recovery - I was going up and down stairs 3 days after surgery. That's not to say that it didn't have risks, just that it's not always an awful experience like so many fear. So if that is what makes you more comfortable, don't let other people sway you. But I would encourage you to do your research on all of your options, talk to your OB, talk to your insurance (as PP mentioned an elective c-section might not be fully covered).