Plane ride with less than 1 month old???

Baby_Bunny_Hopeful

DH was just offered a promotion that involves relocation half-way across the country.  We aren't sure if we will accept it yet... but if we are considering it, we would have to travel there to check out the area... look at apartments/houses, etc.  

I'm due ANY.DAY.NOW... so this would mean that we would have to travel down there with DS2 being less than a month old.  My MIL would travel with us and stay with the baby while we looked at apartments, etc, if need be (since I could pump a bottle and buy myself a couple hours)... DS1 would stay up here with my parents while we did this.  

Am I crazy to consider this move?  Or traveling with such a newborn??  I would babywear, obviously....

Is this too much change at once for DS1??  He's 2.5... and this would mean moving away from ALL of our family and friends to a location that we are unfamiliar with.... as well as the birth of his brother, all within 3 months.  

I'm super stressed. 

Baby_Bunny_Hopeful

MelRC117:

Do YOU want to move with a newborn and another young child?  Do you want to be away from all your family and friends?  Have you and your DH discussed if this is something you both want or is this something you have talked about in the past?

DH and I have discussed what we would do in the event he had potential for relocation with his current complany (which is quite possible).  Although each couple can determine what is right for them, but pay, distance, and the exact location would definitely be dealbreakers, depending on what they all were.  I don't think I could have gotten through these last 11 weeks without the support of my mom.  I know people do it all the time without family around, but now that I'm used to it, I don't think I would want to.

Yes, I would consider how your DS1 would feel, but also consider how you feel about it.

Honestly, it scares me to death.  I'm horrible with change in general... and I'm SUPER close to my mom.  I see her like 4-5 times a week!!! 

But it would also put us in a better place financially... and really help DH's career long-term.  We had hoped for a bit higher offer- but it's still high enough that we can't disregard it without some thought. 

Baby_Bunny_Hopeful

MelRC117:

Baby_Bunny_Hopeful:

MelRC117:

Do YOU want to move with a newborn and another young child?  Do you want to be away from all your family and friends?  Have you and your DH discussed if this is something you both want or is this something you have talked about in the past?

DH and I have discussed what we would do in the event he had potential for relocation with his current complany (which is quite possible).  Although each couple can determine what is right for them, but pay, distance, and the exact location would definitely be dealbreakers, depending on what they all were.  I don't think I could have gotten through these last 11 weeks without the support of my mom.  I know people do it all the time without family around, but now that I'm used to it, I don't think I would want to.

Yes, I would consider how your DS1 would feel, but also consider how you feel about it.

Honestly, it scares me to death.  I'm horrible with change in general... and I'm SUPER close to my mom.  I see her like 4-5 times a week!!! 

But it would also put us in a better place financially... and really help DH's career long-term.  We had hoped for a bit higher offer- but it's still high enough that we can't disregard it without some thought. 

It can't hurt to give it a shot to see if you like it wherever it is with a visit if you've never been there.  I could be extremely weird, but I get vibes from cities I go to, just a feeling I get when I go there.  If you visit, you look around, see some places to live and you just feel uneasy or that you aren't getting good vibes from it then you'll know it might not work out and isn't worth it.  Sure there will be some apprehension, but personally I know right off the bat if I could live some place or not.  Also, is there potential for relocation down the road with this company closer to your family?

Yes, there will potentially be future opportunities... just not sure when and where and what the offer would be.  

 Since the offer has been made, DH has to give some sort of verbal "yes or no" before we would visit (contingent on how we feel about the area, etc).... so it would have to be pretty sure an all other counts other than how we feel when we get there. 

Baby_Bunny_Hopeful

LalaMama81:

I don't think you should let concern about flying w/ a newborn cloud your decision making. I think that part will be a piece of cake compared to moving w/ 2 small kids. 

I would go out w/ the baby & your husband, check things out, ask tons of questions, really see if a higher raise is possible.

Then, back at home, think over all you learned and if it will be worth it. Will your husband be able to transfer back if you don't like it or with future promotion?

Will you be able to visit your parents a lot and vice versa?

I think your 2.5 year old would be okay - sure he'll have his moments, but in the end he'll be fine. I think the change in distance between you and your mom will be the hardest. But, if this promotion is really a smart move, you might have to face the challenge. 

 

Thanks so much!  I'm not sure if DH would be able to transfer back- it would depend on the status of the position he currently holds and where it stands at that point up here.  Although, having this on his resume would definitely open up more doors and he said we could move back up here in a few years if it isn't working out and he could find something up here (and we would have been able to save some money to aid us in that transition).

 It would cost about 250/person for travel (PHL to Birmingham, AL) so travel would be necessary, but not able to be frequent.  I'm a SAHM, so I'm nervous about not knowing anyone and the isolation that would come from that (especially since I am currently seeing my mom almost every day during the week, and my friends at least once a week).  

This stress should never be put on a full-term pregnant woman!!  Especially when a decision needs to be made fairly quickly and we would have to go down there (with baby in tow and MIL to assist) within a few weeks after he's born! 

NuggetJo

I would do it, that's just my take. However I am very independent and do not live close to any family different country! and haven't for years. My mom flew over to help for the first month after the birth but now we are on our own. I'm not a SAHM but I think you will be able to join moms groups and make friends that way. Also I would rent a house instead of buying so that you can find a neighborhood with lots of families etc. We don't have any help with DD as its just the two of us so she is in daycare and if we aren't working then she's with us. Yes it's tough sometimes but we figure it out.

daisy662

Another point of view -

Philadelphia is EXTREMELY different than Birmingham. I have spent a lot of time in both places. Please make sure that you very carefully look into the culture there, the schools, etc. very carefully before making this decision. It isn't better or worse, just very very different. If you haven't spent any time in the deep south, I would do so before making this very important decision.

To answer your actual question - I would ask your pedi if your child is able to fly. My pedi said not until after his 2 month shots, but he was a preemie...We are taking a 2.5 hour flight next week (just me and him) - he will be 2.5 months so I wouldn't hesitate to fly with my DH and MIL if my doc ok'd it.

Good luck!