Talk to me about time out

SarahKate31

How old was your child when you started time out? Was it effective? Where did you make them go/how did you get them to stay there?

KathrynMD

We've never really done any kind of official time out policy - it just never really worked for us.  I'm not sure if that's a mistake or not.  We talk alot about expectations and what to do if something doesn't go right.  We have normally been able to redirect and if that doesn't work, I will just walk away from whatever meltdown DD is having and tell her to find me when she's ready to behave/listen/stop crying, etc., the other thing we do when she's misbehaving around her friends, I will pull her aside and have a very stern reminder about how to behave (share your toy, stop pushing, etc.) and give her a minute with me to calm down (put your head down, take a deep breath, count to 3) and if that doesn't correct the situation, we'll just leave or if we're at home I'll walk way.

I've had to do that 2x (all in the last 6 months).

 

BunintheOven311

Jumping in because i want to hear this too...Friends of ours started at 18 months...

nezwee

We started it when DD was 15 mo. But she has only been placed in her timeout chair twice. Not sure it's really effective yet, but I want her to get used to it now.

I talked to DCP about it before we started and she's on board as well. DD has been placed in time out once that I know of at DC. But DCP told me that she gives the children "a choice" as she calls it. If they choose to disobey her they go into timeout. There are three older children in DC, so DD is exposed to timeouts. 

I've been trying this so called "choice" method and will give DD one warning before she goes into time out. I'll say "you can either xyz or go in timeout" and except for those two times, she listens.

We have a plastic chair that's in the corner of our downstairs. They say to set kids to the side, out of the action, but we really don't have that option with our downstairs since its all open. But I will set her in the chair and try my best to keep her there for 1 minute. When the minute is over, I pick her up and tell her I love her and that she needs to listen to Mommy and why I didn't want her to do xyz, i.e. unsafe, didn't want her to get hurt. She's usually screaming bloody murder the entire time, but I'm hoping the message is getting through.

mrs. remy

Time out has never really worked for us. Basically if I tell DS1 he has to sit somewhere and not move for 2 minutes he will laugh at me, and there's no way he is staying anywhere unless I restrain him. If he does something obnoxiously bad I make him go sit in his room with no toys for a few minutes. He really hates it and cries the whole time.

Oh I forgot....when he was between 18 months and 2 years he sometimes would have his bad moments with hitting/biting. We would put him in his pack and play for like 1-2 minutes and explain that it was because he hit or bit us etc. he caught on pretty quickly and grew out of that soon.

I find with him he responds MUCH better to positive reinforcement. I let him know that I am happy with him when he is being good and 95% of the time he really tries to be good and helpful, etc. He really does not like disappointing us. But when he is tired he can be like a possessed little monster.

melissabender

I can not remember how old my son was when we started time out.  It may have started right around 2 years old.  We have a chair that faces the corner in our dining room that he is sent to if he does anything wrong.  It was surprising to me that I could say "go to your chair" and he would actually go.  He would sit in there crying and sometimes just throwing a huge tantrum.  We let him sit for a while and then ask what he did wrong.  If he can tell us what he did wrong then we let him get up.  Most of his problems are pushing and shoving his little sister so he has to go hug her and tell her he is sorry when he gets out of time out.  This has been working well for us.

jnealet

We didn't use timeout with D1 until she was closer to 3.  I read 1-2-3 Magic and we've gone off of those guidelines.  Its really worked for us, she usually gets put in timeout for not eating her dinner and that's it.  And even then, its maybe once a month.

Cooper81

We started around 2. He gets a very specific warning once, if you do x one more time then we will go to time out. If he isn't listening to what we are asking him to do we will say you have until 3 to do it on your own, if he doesn't then we remove him from the situation, but it's not really a time out. Both are usually effective. We really only have to do time outs for extreme things like hitting, he typically listens and will stay put for the minute or two. Afterwards We always hug and tell him that we love him, and have him explain why he was in time out to us, so we know he understands why he was in timeout.

Megcheer2

We started with time outs sometime between 18 and 22 months. We tried to have her go to time out on the steps, but she wouldn't stay there    So then we switched from a "time out" to "going to bed." She loves her bed, but doesn't want to go there when she's in trouble. So now we carry her upstairs, put her in bed without saying anything, and close her door.

I don't know why she stays there and doesn't get up, but she does and I consider us lucky. She will lay there and snuggle with her favorite blanket and calm down for a few minutes, then we go get her, have her apologize for what she did and tell her we love her.

Ironically, when she's playing sometimes, she will put herself in time out on the steps and just sit there. Who knows?

anonsouthernbell

We don't do TO.  I decided not to after reading unconditional Parenting, which is a great research based book.