Depressed....anyone else?

JennyTom

I guess I should introduce myself....

 Hi... my name is Jenny and I'm apparently infertile.  Or not infertile.  I can't tell.

I have a beautiful 3 1/2 year old son named Jack.  My hubby and I got pregnant again this past January and were due in October.  At my first trimester screen we found out the baby was at risk for Trisonomy 21.  We had a cvs test done and found out she did have DS and a severe heart condition and would not live.  We terminated the pregnancy in April with much regret and heartbreak. 

We've been trying again since June, with no luck.  I've been seeing my new BFF, my fertility doc, for 2 months now.  He said everything looks promising.. had PCT test last month and a HSG test this month, then onto Clomid... I'm 37.  I just want one more healthy baby. 

 That is all. 

 

Nancy6306

I know the feeling, although I feel guilty for feeling that way sometimes. I have two DD's, seven and eighteen months old. I am 37, too, and had a miscarriage in May when I was 15 weeks along. This was going to be our last child. I feel a little depressed since the EDD is just in a few days. I am hoping that I get a BFP when I test next week. DH and I have been trying since the end of August. Like you, I want one more healthy child.

NewMrs07

Hi, welcome! First of all, you are NOT infertile since you already had a healthy baby and you also got pg in January. If you were infertile you wouldn't be able to have children, period. That's what I think and I'm sure I'll get flames from some of the girls on the other boards. Even if it takes long, if you can get pg, that's not "infertility", maybe "subfertility".

You have to cut yourself some slack. 37 is not too old, there are many women on this board and out there in the world who have kids after that age and up to their early 40s. Is it ideal? No, but it happens. Just b/c you had one baby with DS doesn't mean you'll have another one. I'm sorry you had to terminate that pregnancy, I can't imagine how painful that must have been. I think you have to let your body and mind heal and you might be able to get pg again. Maybe Clomid will work. But don't think you are infertile, it's too soon to decide that. There's always hope!!! GL!!!

robynlesley

I'm going to second that you're not infertile?since you have a child already.  And I understand the desire for a 2nd one and hope you are able to have another baby. But if you are not, treasure your blessing of being a mother.

Hopefully things will turn around for you. And 37 isn't too old... heck, it better not be since I'm 38 and if I conceive in the next few months won't be a mother until I'm 39?at the earliest (if the fates are smiling).

Heck, hopefully things will turn around for ALL of us here who are TTC.

caribou

Hi and welcome!

We have been trying for our 1st since Sept 07.  I had a miscarriage in April and have been trying again since June and nothing has happened yet.  It's beyond frustrating.  I will start Clomid again in December so hopefully it will work again and it will stick.

 I do feel down about it sometimes.  Obviously I was really down when the miscarriaged happened but then I was optimistic.  Now I'm feeling down again, it's been 7 months since the m/c and I had hopes that I would be one of those women who get pregnant right away.  

It's easy to get down especially after what you went through with your daughter.  Just enjoy your 1st child and be hopeful that you will have another baby soon.

stever

So sorry you're feeling down, but I have to agree with PPs that you're not infertile. Would also like to make one of first points I made on this board, and that's that my grandma had my dad at 40 and my uncle at 46.

Bluesmoothee

Our stories are very similar. I have a 3 year old daughter. (who I concieved using Clomid) I'm 37, too.

  I, too, terminated a pregnancy on April 14th  after an amnio test revealed he had Tris 21. I was 17 weeks at at the time.

 

 I just found out I was pregnant a few weeks ago, but it took a while for my body to get back in the swing of things. It happened quite unexpectedly because I wasn't really stressing or worrying about. You'll be fine and it will happen.

 Page me if you want to talk some more.

iluvtom

I think many people feel depressed. I too have one DD , she is 19 and I have been TTC for 19 months with my new husband. It is frustrating and upsetting but in the end it will be worth it. Good luck

cherylk

Wow, it looks like a lot of us our in the same boat!  Jenny, I'm 37 too so I can totally relate.  I have an 11 month old son and I got pregnant at 35 in 4 months. 

I'm being very proactive with TTC.  I've been trying for 5 cycles with no luck and I went to a RE a month and a half ago.  I had the HSG-all clear and just started CLomid last night.  The only thing different with me  since DS is my periods are a little irregular and I am 30 pounds heavier.:(  It is frustrating when it doesn't happen as easy as the first time.

I'm sorry about your loss, that had to be devastating.  Sending positive vibes to you for a BFP!!!

Cheryl

JosieH

Sure thing!  I'll be 39 this month.  We've been TTC for almost 2 years.  We've had two 2nd tri mc due to cervical insufficiency.  We have no kids.  I try not sit around feeling sorry for myself because it doesn't help.  It sounds corny, but focus on the positives.  I think about how good my life is, how my family is healthy and happy, how wonderful my husband is.  I do go to counseling and I've found that useful.  I get frustrated that I'm going thru the process of TTC again.  It sometimes feels like an endless cycle.

Try not to think of yourself as infertile.  I disagee with other posters though that you can't be infertile because you've already had a child.  There is such a thing as secondary infertility which happens to women after they've had a child, but your specialist doesn't think this is something you're dealing with.  Try to stay positive.  Somewhere along the line, I think that helps.  Enjoy your son and take it a day at a time.

JennyTom

Thanks everyone.. .it's all just so frustrating.  I think I had blinders on when I had my son, because I never for one second thought anything could go wrong.  I miss that innocence.

My OB is calling it secondary infertility, but my fertility doc is very positive and encouraging... so, we'll see... (as an aside, my OB had unexplained secondary infertility herself at 37 so.... I think she is a little sensitive).

I have been in counseling since we lost our daughter and will continue.. I think the support would be beneficial, especially if we do get pregnant again.  Sometimes it just all gets to be too much.  To those of you that have been trying for so long... wishing you all peace and blessings... I am in awe of everything you do, and the patience and strength you have.  Two months with the fertility doc and I'm worn out.  I truly don't know how you do it.