Workaholics anon...

cindybaf

I posted a month or so ago about managing two kids on my own after going back to work. Dh has a he!!ish schedule, works 75 hours a week and that's when he's not traveling for work. I'm very scared for when and if he does have to travel. I went back to work this week. I love what I do but while i only work 3 days a week They are long days, 10 to 11 hours each. It's Saturday and I'm wiped out completely. Dh left at 7 am and got home last night at midnight. He got a very expensive degree to do this kind of work, and feels obligated to the company to put in this time and in a weird way obligated to me I suspect since he didn't work for two years while getting his masters. Him changing jobs right now won't happen, and I know I need more time to get back into the swing of things at my job. I don't want to make any rash decisions but I really don't like not having the energy or time to cook just for myself. I don't like living like a single working mother but I was raised by one so I'm, um, used to it. How do some of you do it? Especially you all that work full time??? When does it become more of a workalic problem? I still feel like we need the money we are bringing in but I think it's coming at the expense of our relationship and family time. Btwmy father in law is 73 and still works 60 hours a week, so this is kind of what dh is used to. I do know at least his father would be home for dinner with the family....

ridesbuttons

I'm wiped out all of the time too.  Part of the gig.

I feel for you being on your own so much.  I kind of martyred myself for a while with 2 young kids and an absentee husband and it was not worth it.  The minute I started socializing with other moms and living my own life instead of waiting for my H to be available it sort of turned a corner for me.

Some folks are just wired to work.  I doubt you'll talk your H down from where he is now in his career so try to work with it.  Lower some of your standards (like cooking for yourself: plenty of decent pre-made frozen meals out there to be purchased on sale and stored in your freezer for future use) and get out of the house!  Find one friend in a similar situation and I'll bet your energy will start coming back.

As for your relationship, I'd go for quality right now.  One family meal per week, one or two date nights per month.  Make it count when you are together.

Good luck.  This sh!t is tough.