Keep DS in day care when twins (premie?) come home or no? (sim post in premies)

karebearmccroar

Hi all, 

This is really long, I posted on premies too, but I value this board and all of your opinions/advice/experiences so much! I lurk here every day and have learned so much about being a MoM, so much more than from books. Although I know I still know nothing since they haven't arrived yet! Thank goodness- having been on bed rest since 21 weeks, in and out of the hospital for PTL, we are so grateful to have arrived at 32 weeks!

My OB and MFM still think I won't make it That much further- dilated 1 cm, shortened cervix, 6-8 cx an hour even on 20 mg nifedipine every 4 hours right now. So I really wanted to ask you about Day Care for my son.

Since being on bed rest, my 18-mo old son goes to day care 2 days/week (nanny other days). It helps him get out of the house and socialize. For a week now, he has had what they think is hand foot and mouth and/or roseola based on symptoms. He was so sick with fever, now he still has a body rash and blisters inside and outside of his mouth, most of all he is so sick and so MISERABLE. He got the virus from a boy at day care who was fine last Fri and showed symptoms on Sat. 

 Meanwhile, I can't imagine if the twins were here already. It would be so dangerous for them to be exposed or even get a fever, so not good. I don't know how I would protect them, since there is so much drool and his little hands are everywhere putting everything in his mouth since it hurts. We try but there is no way to keep up with the hand sanitizing/washing, which is ok I guess when just adults are around him but it would be downright scary for the twins.

I had originally planned to keep DS in day care(small in home, only 6 kids) 2 days/week when the twins arrive, to help him get out of the house to play and socialize and to help us have time with the twins. But now I have been learning so much about things like RSV and quarantine as much as possible, lowered immune systems in premies, etc. I don't want them getting exposed to illnesses through him. But I know it will be hard on him to be isolated from playdates with friends, the park, day care and be stuck in the house all day where Mommy will have her hands full. But if it is better for the babies we would have to do that.

What would you do? Should we pull him out of day care when the twins arrive? If yes, for a month or two, or all winter till Spring? How do you balance the needs of your older LO with your new LOs- do you just not balance at first and sacrifice older LO experiences because the twins' health is at stake? What do you think?

Thanks in advance, sorry so long and I appreciate anyone who even read this far- I just don't even know what to do! 

mrsjami

I am wondering the same thing. DS will be 3 when twins get here. He had a nanny up until April and now is in d/c full time. I am afraid he will regress if we pull him out, but also deathly afraid of illness. Ugh

AmberinDenmark

I never thought of the little ones bringing things home to the twins!  I just thought it would be good for him to stay in daycare, because he loves it (waves goodbye to me everyday), and it would be some normalcy when his world gets turned upside down. He will be 20 months when the twins get here.  I am curious to see what everyone says!

HoneyBeeMel

My twins were not preemies but I just want to say that my older daughter seemed to be sick ever since we came home. When we were in the hospital she had a horrible cold. The day after babies came home she got coxsackie. A few weeks later a double ear infection, then a stomach virus, and now a cold again! It has been so stressful (especially because she loves her babies and wants to drool all over them). I nurse the babies as much as possible and THANK GOD they have made it 7 weeks without getting sick. I continue to send my DD to preschool 2 days a week. She loves it and it is really good for her to get out of the house without the babies. It is also a break for us. If you are really concerned I would talk to your pedi. Good luck!

Reilly626

I would send him. It's a lot in the beginning- if you are FF it's 24 feedings/bottles a day plus changes! My husband is a teacher and he brought home the twins first cold- it was so sad but now it's something that strengthened their immunity. He's around hundreds of sick kids-its life. I think the socialization is important to your son.

DarthNBJenni

I had the opposite - the twins were in day care and the baby came home. I was physically unable to take them the first week after my c-section, and they were sick so often, that I pulled them out until the Fall. 

AmyJoy728

I would keep him in daycare. He will be bored at home with you and the babies. Plus it will give you time to concentrate on the twins and nap/eat/shower/clean (haha)/whatever.

since he's young I would just tell him he can only touch and kiss their foreheads until they get bigger/winter is over. Good luck!

srbmvp

We kept DS1 in daycare for the first month after the twins were born, partially to try and maintain a level of normalcy for him, partly to give us a chance to try and focus on adjusting to life with two babies. (he was 22 months when they were born).

That being said, DS brought home a nasty cold the day after we brought the babies home from the hospital! I was a nervous wreck, it was so awful. We just did the best we could to make sure DS kept his distance, only kissed the babies on the forehead once he was well, washed hands frequently, etc.

It's scary but it's a reality of having an older child who is gonna get into germs. BFing can help your babies build their immune systems faster, otherwise just really focus on good hygiene for everyone, and making your oldest keep their distance at first, especially if you think they might be sick.

Mama-Bear

DS1 went to preschool 1 morning per week when the twins were born (actually we went to pick him up on our way home from the hospital).  I remember him having a cold or something pretty much right when we got home.  The pedi nurse suggested we send him to stay with grandparents, but that was not an option for us, I didn't want the twins to come home and he be shipped off.  We focused on good hand washing and I BF, they never caught what he had. 

My twins were preemie, so I know that makes a huge difference.  Hopefully you can keep them in for a few more weeks.  Good luck!

Housefull

I have a 4 year old and 3 month old trips that we're 33.5 preemies.  DS continues to go to preschool but comes home and goes straight to the tub!  And I mean straight, does not touch a thing!  This actually helps with the whole family's night routine, at least bath is out of the way.  The nicu told us  RSV season here is October to April and said very clearly that we should not take the trips out until it's over.  So we have almost a whole year of "house arrest". 

kgs0505

That's a tough call.  I fully intend on keeping my son in daycare.  But my twins aren't due til early May.  Plus, at that point, he'll have been in daycare with the same kids for almost 2 years.  How long has he been in daycare?  If he's been there for over  a year, then the number of colds/etc he'll get will drop a lot.

The problem is, daycare isn't the source of all germs.  My son's first illness was whooping cough, and he got that from me.  My doctor didn't test me for it, according to them I only had pneumonia.  But the baby tested positive for whooping cough less than a week after my sysmptoms showed up.  My husband got it too.  Where did I get it?  Probably while I was out shopping or something.  Respiratory illnesses are so hard to prevent.  You just have to be vigilant and get them to a doctor as soon as they exhibit any symptom.

You can do what you can to prevent germs as best as possible, but it's certainly not a for sure thing. 

Good luck with your decision.  It's a tough one.