Ha. My kid still doesn't STTN. Help? Also ranting...

ParadisePrincess

This is my last resort. She'll be 3 in March. She goes to bed at 8pm every night after a night time routine and she falls asleep fine by herself in her own room in her toddler bed. Every single night, usually somewhere between 1-3am, she wakes up crying for me. I go in, she says "I wanna sleep wish mommmmmyyyy". I have tried everything. Sure, we could co-sleep, but I can't handle the toddler knees in my back every night and getting b*tch slapped by my 2 year old at 4am.

 I've tried CIO, I've tried Supernanny, I've tried no nap, shorter naps, longer naps, earlier bed times, later bed times...The kid has maybe STTN 30 times throughout her life. I HAVEN'T SLEPT IN ALMOST THREE YEARS. Please help me.

 

 

groovygrl

I feel you, we have 3 years of seemingly nonstop sleep issues at our house also...

Have you tried rewards/sticker charts? We tried them a little before 3 & it was somewhat effective for DD but DS was not responsive...however, we revisited recently b/c bedtime was getting insanely out of control and both responded much better to that approach this time... but DD is still doing a lot of night waking so now that she earned her reward for bedtime behavior, we are going to start a new chart for both of htem for sleeping the night in their own room w/ no crying. The last one I made them do for 10 stickers before getting their reward (which took quite some time but once things clicked, they got the last 4 pretty much back to back)...just a thought.

 Also DS has developed a lot of fears lately & started comign to our room in the night. At first I was trying the back to his room thing but then we decided to compromise b/c we knew it was fear related and we told him he could sleep onthe floor next to our bed but not in our bed & held firm to that (like you I cannot sleep w/ either one in our bed, no one sleeps well, it is terrible). There is a pillow & blanket on the floor, and some nights he will just walk in & lay down & sleep there and won't even tell us he's there (sometimes I wake up but a few times Ihaven't even heard him creep in) and sometimes he will say our name and if he is distraught we'll give him a hug for a minute and then put him onthe floor. We're pretty clear that his 2 choices are the floor or his own room. You might not really want that option either, I'm just throwing it out there. Our kids both seem to prefer sleeping on the floor to beds though, they both choose to fall asleep on the floor and even when we put them in their beds before we go to bed, sometimes in the night they'll choose to go back to the floor, it is weird.

GL & here's hoping for some sleep for you soon...

megann831

we have the exact situation, although DD used to sleep better, its been just about a year we've been going through this.  We've tried an OK to Wake clock, it's done nothing for us but maybe its worth a try for you.  She sleeps in a twin bed so sometimes DH or I will sleep in her bed and then when we wake up we sneak back to our room.  We went to the dr the other day and he thinks this is just horrible that she doesn't spend the night in her bed.  I explained that she breaks the lock off the handle of the door and he said we could always lock the door from the outside.  We won't be doing that, but its an option 

SaranJonathan

Sounds like our house exactly. DD falls asleep in her bed nightly (only if I lay next to her until she is sound asleep). Then I sneak back into my room. Sometimes she wakes me up and sometimes she crawls back into my bed. I think maybe once every other month she sleeps in her own bed all night...

Angela814

I've got nothing. My 6 yo started sleeping through the night when she turned 5 (years!). My 2 yo has sttn maybe twice. We co-sleep after the first waking. I'd rather get some sleep than none at all. I think I'd be a walking zombie if I had to keep putting DD2 back in her bed. She likes to be touching me (or DH) while she sleeps. I figure she'll grow out of it like her sister did.

I haven't STTN (besides those 2 times) in over 6 years.

ParadisePrincess

Thank you ladies for all the suggestions. It definitely helps knowing I'm not alone. From a colicky reflux newborn to a high needs infant to a non-sleeping toddler...I'm seriously afraid for the teenage years.

ParadisePrincess

Angela814:

I've got nothing. My 6 yo started sleeping through the night when she turned 5 (years!). My 2 yo has sttn maybe twice. We co-sleep after the first waking. I'd rather get some sleep than none at all. I think I'd be a walking zombie if I had to keep putting DD2 back in her bed. She likes to be touching me (or DH) while she sleeps. I figure she'll grow out of it like her sister did.

I haven't STTN (besides those 2 times) in over 6 years.

 

I'm so sorry. Seriously. Like SO sorry. My brother thinks it's hilarious to tell me about all his friends toddlers that sleep from like 8-8 and put themselves in bed yadda yadda. I want to punch him in the face repeatedly. 

groovygrl

ParadisePrincess:

Thank you ladies for all the suggestions. It definitely helps knowing I'm not alone. From a colicky reflux newborn to a high needs infant to a non-sleeping toddler...I'm seriously afraid for the teenage years.

No no no, I keep telling myself that it's the ones with the easy babies/toddlers who will have it tough in teen years and we will be enjoying our well behaved, polite non-troublemakers!!!!! (though if current personality is any indication, unlikely at my house )

Erinmmo

I cant help but only say I understand hence that is why we co-sleep.  I get raised eyebrows over it but our 23 month old woke up all the time and I had it- she still wakes up when we co sleep but usually goes right back to bed.  Just know you are not alone and it seems from all the other posts night wakings happen everywhere! 

sara785

I realize this sounds a little... useless?... but would she take a special stuffed animal to bed to help her feel safe? We've never had sleeping issues, but DS had a fearful period a while back where he woke up crying every night. I gave him one of his stuffed animals and reminded him that it would stay with him and keep him safe while he slept. Did the trick pretty quickly. Maybe you could take her to Build A Bear and make her a special bedtime buddy. Or give her something telling her that it used to be yours and kept you safe all night?
GL. I can't imagine what you're going through.

mamainseptember

I don't have any suggestions, but I feel your pain! DS never once STTN before 16 months and now at 2 its few and far between. Some nights its just once, he wakes up, comes in our room, climbs in bed and goes back to sleep. Some nights its up every 2 hours, me having to come into his room, etc etc. I hope it gets better for you!

AmandaP678

I'm in the same boat. My oldest doesnt sttn  consistently, he never sttn until we moved him into a full size bed. My youngest has never sttn yet. So it's been over 3 years (not including pregnancy) that I have had more than 4 solid hours of sleep. On average I get about 5-6 broken hours of sleep a night.

Angela814

groovygrl:

ParadisePrincess:

Thank you ladies for all the suggestions. It definitely helps knowing I'm not alone. From a colicky reflux newborn to a high needs infant to a non-sleeping toddler...I'm seriously afraid for the teenage years.

No no no, I keep telling myself that it's the ones with the easy babies/toddlers who will have it tough in teen years and we will be enjoying our well behaved, polite non-troublemakers!!!!! (though if current personality is any indication, unlikely at my house )

 

Ardmhs83

hocus:

First off -- your goal is NOT for her to STTN. Almost everyone wakes up at night. Most people learn to fall right back asleep. You want her NOT to call for you, which is a different thing.

I'd read ferber. While he's known for this ideas about young children he also has stuff on toddlers. I think the big thing for you to do is find something you can live with it and stick with it. Chances are the change you'll want is going to take 2 weeks or longer. Many methods might work if you gave them 2 full weeks.

I agree!  Knock on wood...my toddler sleeps fine, for now anyway.  However, we did the Ferber method at 4 1/2 months...we were at our wits end.  I looked up the info about Dr. Ferber and followed his method exactly.  Some ppl are against it, but I LOVE it and will use it again.  I think it was key that he learned so young, so he already knows how to fall back asleep by himself.  Of course...I'm against any forms of CIO anytime before 4 months (Ferber suggests 4-6 months), but it worked for us when we did it.  I have a happy, healthy, sleeping toddler. 

Like this poster said, Ferber has suggestions for toddler sleep as well.  A poster a few posts up said that her husband suggested turning the lock around to the door and that is actually something Ferber does suggest.  Either doing that or installing a gate or putting a latch thing on the outside of their door so they cannot get out of their room.  I know it may sound harsh, but Dr. Ferber is the sleep expert.  Just look up some of his stuff and make the best decision for your family.

Good luck momma...     

merebebe

Angela814:

I've got nothing. My 6 yo started sleeping through the night when she turned 5 (years!). My 2 yo has sttn maybe twice. We co-sleep after the first waking. I'd rather get some sleep than none at all. I think I'd be a walking zombie if I had to keep putting DD2 back in her bed. She likes to be touching me (or DH) while she sleeps. I figure she'll grow out of it like her sister did.

I haven't STTN (besides those 2 times) in over 6 years.

I was just lurking on this board, and this post called out to me. DS has not slept through the night and I thought I had it rough. You are all amazing. I hope DS sleeps through the night before 5 years, but if not I will remember this post!

Ardmhs83

https://www.livestrong.com/article/146411-sleep-training-for-a-toddler/

Don't know if this will help at all, but gives you some places to look. 

Echowysp

My ds didn't STTN regularly until after 3.  Don't know why and not sure what changed, but one day, he started sleeping better.  Bedtime is sometimes a fight, but he will STTN most night now.   My dd, on the other hand, is up several times a night, so I still don't get sleep.

One thing that helped was making a nest of pillows next to my bed and letting him know that if he wants to, he can come in quietly and sleep there if he needs to be near me.  Worked like a charm.

meldoo2002

hocus:

First off -- your goal is NOT for her to STTN. Almost everyone wakes up at night. Most people learn to fall right back asleep. You want her NOT to call for you, which is a different thing.

I'd read ferber. While he's known for this ideas about young children he also has stuff on toddlers. I think the big thing for you to do is find something you can live with it and stick with it. Chances are the change you'll want is going to take 2 weeks or longer. Many methods might work if you gave them 2 full weeks.

 

I think this is very true.  We did Ferber when the boys were really young so we've just kind of stuck with it.  I KNOW there are many nights they wake up and play by themselves in their bed for some time here and there, and I'm fine with that as long as they don't disturb me.  For the most part they STTN or I just don't hear from them and they put themselves back to sleep at some point.  She's going to wake up... that happens, but it's her yelling for you that needs to stop.   

stdldb29

We did this with both of my kids around 2.5 (they both slept in toddler beds from 17 months)---DH put the air mattress in there and slept in there for two nights in a row. Everytime she got up-he told her to go back to bed. She was wanting to come lay with me, and that wasn't going to happen with her daddy there. She hasnt been up since we did that...