I have no idea what the h#ll I am doing...

gajumper

About two months ago my child choked on a tiny piece of pasta.  And I dont mean he gagged and puked, I mean he really choked.

At that moment we went back to purees.  Fast forward to now and he refuses to eat purees...two bites in and he clamps his mouth shut and puts his hands up and refuses to eat.

So, last night we try "normal" food again..small bits of cooked to death green beans and pototes.  He does fine.  I give him one piece at a time and let him pick it up on his own. I can see him working it in his mouth and I make sure he has swallowed before offering him another bite.  He will also eat puffs like no tomorrow, no problem chewing those at all.

Today I sent the same veggies along with some cooked apple bits to daycare with instructions to not pour them onto his tray for a free for all. I advise them we are working at this and to let me know how it goes.  While I am at lunch I get a call...he has choked on a carrot and puked everywhere.  Once I arrive it sounds like no one was paying attention so I dont know if he actually choked or just gagged so hard he puked...he did eat puffs after so I am thinking he just gagged.

How in the heck do you teach them to chew??  How do you keep them fed if they refuse purees but cant "get" chewing "real" food.  What am I doing wrong?

I am so tired of hearing "well, my kid just picked it right up"...there HAS to be others who have gone through this, surely I am not the only one??!?

I have no idea what I am doing...I am scared to death he will choke or not get enough food.  He has started waking at night, I am sure because he is not eating enough during the day to keep him full....ACK!!!

buddrfly421

We have gone through this too. He was good at eating puffs and mum mums but every once in awhile we would give him something and he would choke and puke. It would scare us and we would be like ok no more! We just stuck with puffs for awhile and then very slowly adding on small pieces of stuff. And if he was ok with it we would stick with just that for a week or so. If he was still doing ok we would add something else in and work with that for a week. Eventually he just got good at chewing things. I think what you are doing is good, just get day care to do the same and he will get it!

brewcitybride

I can see how this would scare you. However, your child has to learn how to eat. Just keep giving him tiny mashed up pieces of very soft foods - for instance, it's nearly impossible to actually "choke" on a microscopic piece of a scrambled egg (my DS loves scrambled eggs). Gagging is different than choking. Gagging is actually a good and healthy thing. To me, it sounds like your child is gagging, which would not scare me, my DS gags now and then. Your baby is already learning how to chew by eating Puffs. And they don't need teeth to chew - they use their gums! The magic of the human body:)

Just put some soft mashed up foods on his high chair tray and let him go to town - this morning, DS fed himself a scrambled egg, mashed-up banana and puffs. He HATES when I feed him, and loves feeding himself, because it's probably way more fun, plus, it's good practice!

gajumper

Its so scary...and frustrating.  I have all of these great friends that are saying to feed all of this stuff...and in theory it sounds great...but he wont chew..or some times he will chew and sometimes he wont.

I eat with him and be sure to let him see what I am doing so he can mimic, etc.

Uhg, why dont they come with manuals.

 I agree that this sounds like gaging vs the actual choking he did at home, but it still puts that twinge in my mind that he is not ready, or maybe daycare isnt the place to try this (but then how would he eat at all)...so many questions!!

 

memali26

Honestly, you just have to keep trying. Go as slow as you need to feel comfortable, keep a close eye on him, but just keep working on it. The others already mentioned it, but start with soft things - scrambled eggs, bananas, bits of pancake or well cooked pasta - and just offer a few at a time. Puffs are good practice, and don't be afraid to try cheerios, either, they mush up pretty well. 

Also, it seems counter-intuitive, but bigger things like a half a graham cracker or a sweet potato cut into "fingers" are great for learning to self feed. Graham crackers turn to mush quickly, but they can control getting it to their mouths and start learning to bite off pieces. I've found that if they get a piece that is too big, it usually comes right back out and they try again.  

gajumper

I go back and forth on size...Ive heard everything from wedges, to matchstick, to small cubes.  He has 8 front teeth and can bite things off, so I dont know that with a wedge he wouldnt just bit off a chunk that was too big.

Thank you all, I greatly appreciate your comments.  There is a little girl in his class the same age and she goes to town on everything and has less teeth...then theres my LO who gags on a carrot.

So, for dinner tonight I should still offer bits of something and just keep at it...

bridein08

At this age, teeth really don't matter for chewing. We do small cubes because DS will shove a full stick of stuff into his mouth and gag, then throw up. 

Now, when you say he choked at home- what happen? Did he turn blue or purple? Moving no air, unable to cough at all? A lot of people think that gasping, turning red and coughing, vomiting etc is choking and it isn't.  I won't say it can't happen, but I have a hard time seeing how it can with a small piece of pasta. Regardless, it is scary when they difficulties! It happens a couple times a week when he gags so much that he vomits- no fun  

gajumper

He chocked...turned a light shade of blue and went lifeless.  No gasping, coughing, etc.  I was also shocked that it happened on such a small item, but it did.

Thankfully due to my line of work I am trained in CPR. It was very scary, he was scared, I was scared...not something I want to repeat at all.

But, he has to learn to chew and he prefers to feed himself, so purees are out.  I just dont know if I should expect daycare to help teach him and put up with the gaging and puking....

bridein08

Did you have to perform CPR on him? So sorry you had to deal with that. As a medical provider who previously worked with kids before SAHM, I know those situations are so scary!

bridein08

Honestly, with all of the info you have provided me, I would probably ask my pedi for a speech or occupational therapist referral. They can work with him and give you the suggestins that you are looking for her.

Carrie3102

We over exaggerate our chewing and try to get her to mimic us.  I'm no expert, but that has been working for us.... we have horrible table manners right now, but we'll work on that once she has chewing down.

chicagocubsfan23

buddrfly421:

We have gone through this too. He was good at eating puffs and mum mums but every once in awhile we would give him something and he would choke and puke. It would scare us and we would be like ok no more! We just stuck with puffs for awhile and then very slowly adding on small pieces of stuff. And if he was ok with it we would stick with just that for a week or so. If he was still doing ok we would add something else in and work with that for a week. Eventually he just got good at chewing things. I think what you are doing is good, just get day care to do the same and he will get it!

 

I'm just lurking but I just wanted to say I absolutely LOVE your siggy pic!

Irisheyes1247

I would call to Early Intervention if you have it and see if you can get your LO into a swallow study if you are truly concerned that they don't "get" it. My feeling is you just have to keep trying and offering, because how else will they learn? But you are there with your child and you see how they are doing everyday. 

PrimRoseMama

Honestly, you just have to keep trying and make sure the food is cut up small bits. Gagging is normal and they have to learn to eat  properly. Gagging is part of that.

DD has choked on a little bit of soft spinach before, and I finger swept it out of her airway. It wasn't even a large bite, so harder foods (like apples etc.) are one of those things you just have to offer until he gets it. 

I model chewing for DD. I go "mm mm chew chew chew" and show her how I move my jaw. I even chew with my mouth open sometimes so she can see it. (I know its gross, but she seems to enjoy watching mommy do things). She's got it down pretty well. We are able to get away with apples, and other veggies cut into fingernail sized bits. 

Your LO might be gagging on textures too. DD doesn't mind if the items are solid or a little mushy, but if they are outright wet (think not drained spinach leaves) she will gag on it. She also doesn't pick it up if it is sticky or wet. 

You aren't doing anything wrong. Its all trial and error. We wish they came with a manual!

noahchristopher

Just a few ideas.

Cut a pinto bean in half and mash it with your finger.  He will still be able to pick it up and there's really no way to choke on that.  Do it one at a time and keep at it.

Bake a potato and cut up small pieces and again, mash the pieces with your finger.

Banana.  Eraser sized pieces, smash with your finger.  You can roll the banana in graham cracker dust so it's easier for him to pick up.

Frozen peas.  They are so soft.  Mash with your finger if you think you need to.

He'll get better at it.  Just keep it up.

Chargersgrl33

Practice practice practice.  Remember, it's all so new to them.  Different textures, flavors, feelings, it's an adventure.  We went thru a long period of gagging and puking but he's learned how to move food around in his mouth now.  It's a process but he will get there.

MesmrEwe

IMO, the problem is not with you or LO but with your DCP.  I mean this with all kindness, but try switching to something like Beechnut stage 3 baby food because it has texture and they aren't just going to throw it on the tray and not be there for every second of the feeding like the purees.  In other words, making a half-step backwards transition there and continue what you're doing at home to transition.  The beechnut is a little better than Gerber when it comes to things like FAR lower sodium. 

With DS he'll do puffs like there's no tomorrow, he'll do cut up waffles, but you ask him to do the larger wheel puffs or stuff that he needs to break down more and he's not quite there yet.  Just need to be patient, he won't be going to college with the blender for purees ;o)

gajumper

I currently do the beechnut textures...I think its like stage 2.5.  There are fairly large chunks in the stage 3's.

Yesterday we stayed home and I ate every meal with him and really exagerated the chewing...he did fine.  What I am guessing happened is he gagged so hard he puked and the day care paniced.   His normal teacher was out and the substitute was probably NOT watching him every second when we was chewing...I imagine she just dumped the stuff on the tray and let him have at it.

 I will keep trying.

beachgirl24

bridein08:

Did you have to perform CPR on him? So sorry you had to deal with that. As a medical provider who previously worked with kids before SAHM, I know those situations are so scary!

 

I agree!!  This is one of my biggest fears for LO and to hear about someone going through it makes me want to go home and get out my CPR manual to refresh my memory again!  This must have been absoultely terrifying, I am so sorry to hear that you had to go through that!  

I dont mean to make you re-live it again but if you're comfortable with it (if not, I would understand) I would really like to learn from your experience so I can be beter prepared in the event it ever happens to my LO.  Could you please tell us what exactly you did to relieve the situation?  Did you do the recommended "back blows" and "chest thrusts" with the baby angled downward like they teach you in the CPR classes?  Did you have to call 911?  

gajumper

I did one back blow on him.  He was in his high chair, so I pulled him out rather forcefully, and placed him along my arm, head away from me with his rear end higher than his head...I was crouched down on the floor so I used my leg to stabalize my arm...did one back blow and he vomited like no tomorrow and started screaming, he vomited again as well.

 I did not have time to grab my phone and call 911.  I attempted to after he vomited the first time but apparently vomit is enough to make the finger/touch connection with an iphone damn near impossible to do.  Once he vomited again I just held him and hugged him sitting on the floor in his vomit. 

I live on the county line, so 911 calls from cell phones from my area are actually sent to the nearest 911 dispater, which is not in the county I live in...once you get a person you are then transfered to the correct county dispatch...that entire process would have taken longer than it did for me to get him out and to do CPR on him.

The entire process seemed like an eternity but in actuality was not very long...I was right with him when he choked and thankfully didnt have him buckled in his chair, I was able to literally yank him out and spin him around in a matter of seconds. It was another few seconds from the time I got him in my arms to the time he vomited. 

I work on a large medical campus (not a provider myself) so every employee is required to take CPR classes.  I was also a riding coach in my former life so we are required to know CPR as well.

bridein08

I don't mean to nitpick here, but it is important to note that you performed the heimlich, not CPR. CPR is performed on an individual that is not only "not breathing" but also has no heartbeat- it is cardio-pulmonary resuscitation, used for someone who is unconscious. It ks rescue breathing combined with chest compressions. Needing to use the heimlich is also a really scary situation, but I think the differentiation is important for moms to know  

You are doing the right thing, though when it comes to food! Just keep practicing- he will get it!

bridetobe6808

1st of all, I don't think many of us really know what we are doing. That said, Praise the Lord your little one is ok!! That must have been terrifying. We definitely went through a phase around 9 1/2 months where I would get scared that LO was going to choke. We went back to purees and she refused them after 1 or 2 bites. This lasted for maybe 2 weeks. She still gets formula (or BM) as her main diet, so I am not concerned if she doesn't eat as much solid food on one day....Maybe just take a step back and just give formula (or BM) for a few days?

Daycare does not give any of the infants solid food. They give purees 2 times a day and puffs or cheerios. She is also only in daycare two days a week so I am not concerned if she doesn't get solids until the afternoons on those days. Our doctor just said foods the size of the tip of your pinky if you are ever unsure of how big something should be. Good luck mama!!