Schedule/Sleep Help - Please! I'm desperate!

ShopperKristi

You guys, I'm losing it. We are only getting 1-2 hours of sleep at a time at night and my sanity is hanging by a thread!  Our boys are 6 weeks (born @35w) and are still eating 2.5oz every three hours night and day (they weight just under 8lbs) - hearing other people that have babies the same age sleeping 4-6 hour stretches at night makes me want to cry.  

At night it looks like this for us -  

9:30pm - babies up, change diapers, eat (dad feeds both while I pump)

10:30pm - babies done eating and one or both fuss for 30min - 1hr before finally going back to sleep

11:00pm - babies, mom and dad are in bed.

12:30am - babies are back up to eat again and the whole process starts over

So we're getting an hour - an hour and a half of sleep max between feedings.  My questions for you all are - is this normal?  When did your babies start going longer at night (was it by age, weight, how much they were eating?) and what did you do to facilitate it?  Should I try some kind of sleep training?  And most of all, how did you cope?  I'm just totally at a loss and the thought of many more weeks or months of this kind of schedule has me in tears.  I just don't know what to do   

babya2010

Yes, unfortunately it all does sound normal. Mine didn't STTN (more than 6hrs or so) until they were almost 4mo old. Not gonna lie, the sleep deprivation SUCKED. I can remember one night I literally only got one hour of sleep. That was it. They still did overnight bottles until they were 6mo, at which point I did some sleep training to drop that final feed. To answer your other questions, no, they are too young to sleep train at this point. I think 4mo is the earliest you can attempt any type of sleep training method, but most recommend waiting until at least 6mo. Are you swaddling them? Mine were much more content and able to fall asleep quickly after middle-of-the-night feeds if I swaddled them back up. When mine were about a month old (in the thick of sleep deprivation!) we had my mom come over and watch them for a full day while DH and I went and napped at her house. Is there any way a family member can come take over for a day? At that point I was desperate for sleep, and it didn't even matter what time of day it was! ::hugs:: I've definitely been there, and it's rough... but hang in there, it'll get better soon!

AmyJoy728

The first 3 months are the hardest and then they start sleeping longer stretches. Swaddles, pacis, white noise, swings, RNPs it is all trial and error at this point unfortunately. Hang in there!

CourtneySue

Here are a few things to try out..

Shorthen up your feeding times during the day to 2.5-3 hours max. They will get more food in during the day & sleep longer at night. This has worked for all 3 of mine.

Also their feeding time at night sounds too long. Try to shorten up the time because if they are fussing that long sounds like they are overly stimulated/tired. It should be more of a dream feed where they go right back to sleep as quickly as possible.

It does get better. At 6 weeks they seem to become more aware & takes a bit.

Ourfamilyof5

You're going to get through this! Though when it's your first baby (babies) and you're in the thick of it, it really seems like it will never end. I promise you'll look back at this time and eventually feel like it went by pretty quickly. 

I'm all for sleeping trainings as we did CIO with our DS at 4 months (the earliest recommended time) because he was a TERRIBLE sleeper. That being said, I agree with the others...it's too early to consider any type of sleeping training. It sounds like your current schedule is pretty normal, but trust me, I know how it feels when it seems like everyone around you has babies sleeping longer stretches than yours do. My advice is to let them sleep anywhere that that they sleep well. If that means in their swings, bouncers, car seats, etc...just let them! It's all about survival at this point and it's too early for them to form any bad habits. I remember wanting to let my DS sleeping in his swing SO bad because that's where he slept best, but I was afraid I was "ruining" him and that he'd never sleep in his crib. When I was a complete walking zombie at 6 weeks, my friends encouraged me to let him sleep in his swing... I did. I got more sleep. At 12 weeks, he was just ready for his crib and the transition was easy. 

Hang in there, Momma! 

srbmvp

CourtneySue:

Here are a few things to try out..

Shorthen up your feeding times during the day to 2.5-3 hours max. They will get more food in during the day & sleep longer at night. This has worked for all 3 of mine.

Also their feeding time at night sounds too long. Try to shorten up the time because if they are fussing that long sounds like they are overly stimulated/tired. It should be more of a dream feed where they go right back to sleep as quickly as possible.

It does get better. At 6 weeks they seem to become more aware & takes a bit.

I agree, if they are up for upwards of 2 hours at each night feeding, they are going to get overstimulated and not be able to settle back down. Try to keep nighttime feedings as simple as possible. You can do a sniff test on diapers and if there's no poop, you are probably safe to skip one diaper session. Keep the room dark, no talking unless it's necessary. Maybe have each of you feed a baby and then pump afterwards, so that the total amount of time a baby is up and making noise/fussing is shorter.

Healthy Sleep HAbits, Happy Twins is a good book, but I agree that it is probably too soon for you to sleep train. But, it might give you some ideas, etc.

Hang in there, the first few weeks are soooo hard, but it will get easier. Mine are 5 months and still not sleeping through the night, but at least we are all getting enough sleep to function =P

notallisonmarie22

I would say it sounds very normal since their adjusted age is only 1 week old.  Mine STTN at 8 weeks, but they were born at 37 weeks.  I am blessed with good sleepers, but those first few weeks were hell.  All I can say for sure is that it does get better.  One day at a time sounds really cliche, but it's so true. 

besu-chan

I'm just going to add to what everyone else is saying- sorry, it's normal, it stinks, it will get better eventually. If it makes you feel any better, at that age I was feeding them on an alternating schedule to build up my supply so I was feeding one baby every 1.5hrs around the clock- and each baby took about an hour just nursing. It got so bad I was hallucinating.

Anything you can do to get some rest is really important. Talk to YH to see if you can come up with some strategies- whether that's getting someone to come take over, you and H alternating somehow, or whatever. I had no idea how important sleep was until I had newborn twins. Now it is my number one top concern in all of life! Hope you can get some more rest soon.

GypsyEsq

notallisonmarie22:

I would say it sounds very normal since their adjusted age is only 1 week old.  Mine STTN at 8 weeks, but they were born at 37 weeks.  I am blessed with good sleepers, but those first few weeks were hell.  All I can say for sure is that it does get better.  One day at a time sounds really cliche, but it's so true. 

Sounds like a very typical "schedule" and I agree with the bolded.  Having had a 41weeker and now two 38 weekers I can say that I definitely noticed a difference in my twins when they got past term.  Also I'd suggest sleeping when they sleep during the day too to try and get as much rest as you can.

erinruns

Mine were 8 weeks premature and didn't start stretching out their night sleep until they were 8 weeks adjusted.  Prematurity makes for a *really* long newborn phase!

I agree to read the sleep books, and to keep night feedings as quick as possible.  Soon they should start getting more efficient at eating.  When mine were around 6 weeks adjusted, I started really trying to get as many ounces as I could in during the day.  I tracked how much they ate from day one, so I knew how much they needed in a 24 hour period, I just tried to get that in during daylight(ish) hours if at all possible.  This meant upping their ounces each bottle, as well as never going longer than 2.5 hours between bottles.  All of that helped them stretch their sleep out at night. 

mirnb

sorry this time is so hard! it feels like you won't survive but you will! First some encourgaement....things can change so quickly...it will get better and this will be a distant memory! Our boys both had colic so sleep was in short supply for us for the first 3 months....what we did was each take a shift...I would help feed around 9pm then pump and head to bed...hubby would stay up and do the next shift on the couch with babies in PnP beside him and then the next time they woke up he would come get me and he would sleep in bed...This REALLY helped because at least we both felt like we got a stretch of uninteruppted sleep...I turned on the fan and tuned out any noise just so I could be sure to not wake during this time...try to keep the nightime feeds quick and quiet...no need for diaper changes unless poopy...hope things get better soon...we had a horrible time the first 3 months and then they slept through by 3.5 months and now have been sleeping 12+hrs a night since 6 months....there is light at the end of the tunnel...just survive!!

ShopperKristi

Thank you guys SO much for all your responses - sorry it took me a while to get back in here and say thank you! I kind of figured we would have to just tough it out but I will definitely be trying all of your suggestions too. I also really appreciate the encouragement - people just can't understand it until they live it that's for sure!  You ladies are so fabulous!