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TMWarren85
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Big Sister Luncheon
TMWarren85
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in Baby Showers
Looking for some thoughts here- I'm thinking about having a 'Big Sister Luncheon' for my DD who will be a few months shy of 4 when this LO is born. We have been and will continue to buy a lot for this LO as time goes on as some of the things we had for DD were gently used but now past expiration dates, or things I donated because I knew I probably wouldn't re-use and want to buy new. Anyways (sorry to get side tracked) - she notices these things and the time we spend talking/planning and I don't want her to feel left out so I decided I wanted to have a 'Big Sister Luncheon' in her honor closer to our due date. I was thinking mostly girls (since I'm sure it will be all pink anyway) and probably at my house with snacks and some type of sweets. Has anyone done this?
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Re: Big Sister Luncheon
I don't really like the idea. There are plenty of ways to make her feel included, but people are going to feel compelled to buy her things and it seems really gift grabby to me. Plus, and this is just my opinion so no one get their panties all twisted, but I think kids need to learn that everything isn't all about them. Sometimes things happen in life and it doesn't revolve around them. She'll have plenty of things that are for her--birthdays, etc. This isn't an even that is about her. Like I said, make her feel included, but I think a party in her honor is just silly.
I think now would be a good time to start some one-on-one traditions with her that you keep going after the baby is born. That will mean more to her than one party.
Plus, as baby gets closer tensions may be running high and the excitement of the party might be too much.
On a semi-related note, I have seen the idea where you keep a note outside for guests to see asking them to greet the big sis before greeting the baby--that will make her feel special and included and since the baby doesn't care it is a win-win!
All of this, absolutely.
Maybe you can let her pick out the baby's coming home outfit so she can feel included on the decisions. If she's about to have a birthday, you're going to have this luncheon for her and then a birthday party? That seems like overkill.
I don't know how you've chosen to involve her in the planning for this LO, but that's probably the biggest thing you can do right now to help her feel involved/included. Take her shopping with you for things for the nursery, let her pick out some outfits for LO, maybe let her make a special painting or drawing to frame for tthe nursery. Whatever works for you.
You'll also want to make sure she gets some one-to-one mommy time as well. Take her to lunch just "us girls," maybe a spa afternoon where you both get mani/pedis if that's something you would both enjoy
I agree that a party just for her seems over the top. As PP said, she will need to learn sooner or later that things are not all about her.
DD1 was 7 when LO was born. We looked for many ways to make her feel special, but tried to avoid giving her stuff to do so. Instead, we:
Had a mom/daughter slumber party before LO was born.
Had grandma take her out to lunch when mom and dad were in the hospital
Signed her up for the "Big Sibling" class at the hospital
In short, we focused on ways to make her feel like an active participant in the new baby, and in focused 1:1 time. A Big Sister luncheon feels way over the top to me, unless its just with Mom and Grandma (or a favorite aunt or other immediate family member). I'd side-eye the crap out of it if I got an invite for a Big Sis luncheon from one of DD1's friends, and would likely not attend.
Ditto PPs- I would skip the luncheon and involve her as much as possible in planning/shopping for the new baby so that she feels included, but also set up some individual activities for her now- maybe once a month "dates" with mom and dad, or "big girl" classes, etc.
I think most people are sensitive to the fact that a new baby can be a hard adjustment on an older sib and will bring presents and give attention to the older child. I always make it a point to bring a "big brother/sister" present when I bring a new baby present.
Ditto PPs- I would skip the luncheon and involve her as much as possible in planning/shopping for the new baby so that she feels included, but also set up some individual activities for her now- maybe once a month "dates" with mom and dad, or "big girl" classes, etc.
I think most people are sensitive to the fact that a new baby can be a hard adjustment on an older sib and will bring presents and give attention to the older child. I always make it a point to bring a "big brother/sister" present when I bring a new baby present.