WWYD? Cousin with very similar name

kelly321

DH and I both love the name Elizabeth, nn Liz or Lizzy. In German (where we live and DH's native langauge), it's pronounced uh-leez-a-bet. We've sort of always had that as our #2 girls' name (#1 we used for DD1). We just found out today that this LO is another girl, so now we find ourselves in a bit of dilemma with our name choice.

4 weeks ago, BIL/SIL had a baby girl they named Elisa (uh-leez-a), so basically the same name without the "bet" at the end if they're both pronounced the German way. And her nn is Lizzy.

Personally, I don't see a big deal with cousins having similar names. Actually, DH has 2 sets of cousins with the same name, and I don't remember there ever really being any confusion about it. My brother and uncle have the same name, and again, no confusion. But, in all of those cases, if there was confusion, then the last name could always be said with it because it was different. Elisa and Elizabeth would have the same last name, though.

So what do you think? Would you keep Elizabeth and just use another nn? Would you talk to BIL/SIL and make sure it's ok first? Would you keep Elizabeth and go with the English pronunciation? Or do you say it's too close and we should look for another name?

kayjay10

How often will you be around each other?  I don't see cousins as a big deal.  My brother and I are super close so our kids will grow up together and I wouldn't use a similar name.  But DH is not that close to his brother so I wouldn't think twice about using a similar name to their kids.

NicoleRich105

I personally don't see the big deal. Their cousins, not sisters. If you have always been set on the name, and still are, then go for it. Not trying to be a negative Nancy, but for all you know, they may not even be close to one another growing up- and even so, I know of tons of people who are friends/best friends with the same name and growing up they were known as Vicky 1 and Vicky 2, or Liz 1 and Liz 2 (comedically, of course). You don't have to explain your name choice to anyone, and if anyone asks, just let them know you had your decision made a long time ago.

kelly321

kayjay10:

How often will you be around each other?  I don't see cousins as a big deal.  My brother and I are super close so our kids will grow up together and I wouldn't use a similar name.  But DH is not that close to his brother so I wouldn't think twice about using a similar name to their kids.

We see them probably every other month, and DH is close with his brothers even though they don't get a lot of face time because of the distance. So the cousins would play together when we see each other, but we live 3 hours apart (at the moment, that could change soon) so it's not like they'll be regular playmates.

lady dixneuf

I don't see a big deal either. 

ramoseecology

lady dixneuf:

I don't see a big deal either. 

 

Ditto.

queenbone

Since these girls will be 1st cousins it is kind of tough, I'm sure they will see each other often at family gatherings.  I think you can still pull it off though.

Your daughter can have the NN Lizzy too, but for family gatherings it would probably be better to use her whole name. Or you could use a NN from the end of her name to distinguish her from her cousin. Like Bette or Betts. (My grandma Betty was called Auntie Betts by the family.)

Who knows you may even find you prefer Bette as her NN in other situations too.

emaddock

I would just ask her.  My cousin's LO is very similar to a name we are using and I was worried she wouldn't be happy with our choice.  I asked her and she was totally fine with it and now I feel as though I can go ahead and use the name.

TripMomma

Way too close for me, I would find something else.

blu-eyedwife

I'm really sensitive about the "same name for family members" thing - no matter how close or distant the relative.

That being said, even I wouldn't have a problem with Elisa, Elizabeth.  However, I would probably pick a different nickname so there weren't two Lizzys.