MIL help..how would you handle this?

JoJoH23

No, this isn't a "my MIL is a bi$ch" post. She is a very sweet, kind, generous woman. She loves loves loves her grandbabies. Anyway, she is also one of those people who are extremely sensitive and insecure. About EVERYTHING. Example; If she calls at 7:30 she continues to apologize for "calling too late" even if we answer, have a conversation, and insist that it wasn't too late. She will continue to repeatedly apologize for calling. Repeatedly. She is always offering to do stuff for us, which is great, but if we don't take her up on her offer she gets upset because maybe we don't "want her around" or she is "bothering us". NOT the case! We live close and she helps babysit, we have dinners, go shopping etc, we have a great relationship, she is just SO insecure. It makes me uncomfortable to say the least, but we all try our best to help her feel loved and included. Well my problem now is that she has just agreed to babysit for 3 afternoons a week so I can go back to work part-time. Last week when I came home from work, LO had a hive like rash all over his neck and upper body. I could tell right away it was from her perfume and her lotion. My couch reeked, my baby reeked, everything she had touched smelled like her perfume. I'm incredibly sensitive to stuff like dyes and scents, so immediately my head began to ache, and I could tell that LO is affected by it too. The last thing I want is to hurt her feelings, but it's clear that it's giving him a rash. And my whole house smelled like her for hours afterwards. I haven't brought it up with H yet. I just don't know how to approach this, because I know no matter what she's going to be offended. What do I do?! 

Sorry if that was long!  

unaveragejane

You could possibly be subtle about it and say the pedi is having you switch to all dye-free and scent-free everything, even having you switch your own lotion and detergent to something scentless and no more perfume. She sounds like she might get the hint, and it would kind of deflect any blame she might feel.

JaimeG183

Next time she calls and asked what you're up to, I'd say "we're going to the ped because LO has a horrible rash" then later she'll call back to see what the ped said and I'd give her the line that he said we need to be dye free and that anyone who holds LO shouldn't wear perfume or scented lotions.

when all else fails, blame the experts

daisy080187

unaveragejane:

You could possibly be subtle about it and say the pedi is having you switch to all dye-free and scent-free everything, even having you switch your own lotion and detergent to something scentless and no more perfume. She sounds like she might get the hint, and it would kind of deflect any blame she might feel.

THIS! Put the blame on the Pedi just tell her that he broke out you had no idea what was going on so you took him to the pedi & the pedi said to go scent free from now on everything that comes in contact with the baby clothes soaps & people holding him so IF she does get upset she'll be upset with the pedi not you!!
From the sounds of it she gong to apologize til she's the blue in the face!!

Bad thing is around her you & DH will have to be cologne or perfume free around her.

alexandrineblanc

That's a very good idea!

Smootchy

I agree, I would blame the doctor... Gotta go with all free and clear, scent free everything.

Samiantha101

Idk, I have to disagree with the PPs. She's a grown woman. You need to be able to speak to your child's caretaker more, well, openly, especially in circumstances where it directly effects your baby. I wouldn't go out of my way to be mean or say anything insensitive, but if you make up a lie now, you're going to be doing it for every little problem. Be honest. I imagine her earth won't be completely shattered, and you'll be a better person for it.

shadypines

unaveragejane:

You could possibly be subtle about it and say the pedi is having you switch to all dye-free and scent-free everything, even having you switch your own lotion and detergent to something scentless and no more perfume. She sounds like she might get the hint, and it would kind of deflect any blame she might feel.

This!

crlacey

We had this same sort of problem. My hubby talked to his mom mentioning that our baby must be extra sensitive to this sort of thing, so could she please be very careful about using too many products when she's going to be around the baby. At first she felt bad that the baby was having some sort of reaction. But now she is happy that she knows so she can protect our little one.

jessicah628

Samiantha101:

Idk, I have to disagree with the PPs. She's a grown woman. You need to be able to speak to your child's caretaker more, well, openly, especially in circumstances where it directly effects your baby. I wouldn't go out of my way to be mean or say anything insensitive, but if you make up a lie now, you're going to be doing it for every little problem. Be honest. I imagine her earth won't be completely shattered, and you'll be a better person for it.

Agreed. Just be nice about it, and tell her that it seems like the baby is sensitive, so if she can try not to wear her scented products and see if it helps, that would be great.