How do I get my 3 1/2 year old to stay and sleep in her bed?!

YorkieFan

I am going crazy! She will not stay in her bed at night and if I try to force her she screams for hours. I gave up a few months ago and have just let her sleep in our bed, but now she has started Pre-school and she really needs to get her proper sleep. If she sleeps in our bed, she won't fall asleep until usually 10 pm at the earliest. She is still awake now and it is almost 11. Any advice? She says she is afraid of her room. I think she just doesn't want to sleep by herself. My husband doesn't help matters either because he will not help put her to bed or enforce anything since I am the "stay at home parent" even though he's home every night. Anyway, I just need some advice! What am I doing wrong?!

DTNZ4Ever

I would do step downs. Sit with her in her room until she falls asleep. Not in her bed but next to her bed. Then move further and further out every few days until you are out of the room. Or let her cry it out. It will be painful but you need to be strong and not give in if you do then she learns that if she cries long enough then she gets her way.

Littlejen22

All I know is there is a major need for talking to you DH, you are a stay at home parent but that does not mean he does not have to parent, he is being an ass.

As for DD, can you stay with her for a certain amount of time and then leave? A night light? Something special like a new BuildABear to keep her company but the BAB can only sleep in her bed, if she comes to your bed it stay asleep in hers? I know we had this issue with my DS although she was not scared but when she got her ears pierces in June she decided she did not need us to put her to sleep anymore.

Jim&Jaime

YorkieFan:

My husband doesn't help matters either because he will not help put her to bed or enforce anything since I am the "stay at home parent" even though he's home every night. Anyway, I just need some advice! What am I doing wrong?!

What an ass!

Could you do a little redecorating to make her feel like her room is a place she wants to be in? Maybe a new comforter she picked out herself?  

KathrynMD

The Ferber book has a good section on helping w/ preschoolers bedtime issues (that doesn't include CIO).

For us, we started doing a reward for staying in bed/staying asleep, etc. (made a star on dry erase board in teh morning and after 3 stars she got a reward).  There was no punishment for asking for help/wanting to sleep in mommy's room, asking mommy to sleep in her room, but there just wasn't a reward.  Honestly, making the stars was like 90% of the reward.

Spin313

First, have a CTJ talk with your DH...you guys need to be on the same page.

Second, I'll echo what a lot of the PP's already said: talk it out with your DD, let her pick out a special stuffed animal, get a new nightlight or flashlight for her room...maybe even one of those gauze canopies?