Do you ask.. Or tell?

MOONGIRL2467

When you need help in the kitchen , for example you're about to start cleaning up after you made dinner...do you say
"Hun, will you help me put the clean dishes away?" Or
"Hun, help me put the clean dishes away."

I've caught myself several times asking my DH if he will help. He always does but I wonder if I told him to help if I would have the same result.

Do you ask or tell your SO to help?!

evanzmom11

I ask. I have a tendency to be bossy....so thats one thing I worked on in the last year was to ask DH to help out.

And like HavFath I usually just have him watch DS so I can do the dishes without him getting in the dishwasher. 

Timshel17

I always ask, I'm trying to think of time when I've told him to do something, but I can't.  I'm sure I have, but I just can't think of it now.  He always asks me too.  It would be so weird for me to say to him "Dear, take the trash out."  Even if I added a "please" it'd just be weird for me.  That said, I'd be taken aback if he just said (very seriously, and not joking) "no." 

swimiz500

I ask, but I think DH knows I am really telling  

BoogieMonster629

I tell, I think LOL.  Usually it goes like this "the trash is full" so I mean that's his cue to take it out.  And really I just clean up after dinner and he plays with her so I can get it done faster.

MOONGIRL2467

Yea when I'm cooking he just plays with her.. Last night I cleaned up as soon as she went to bed so he hel

MOONGIRL2467

Yea when I'm cooking he just plays with her.. Last night I cleaned up as soon as she went to bed so he helped put the dishes away while I cleaned up.. It certainly made it so we finished quicker : then we watched dexter and homeland together.

pettycrocker

Tell.  

PinupMomma08

I always ask, not always with great result. When I ask I usually get, yeah I'm waiting for this one story on sportcenter... gimmie a min.

But when/if I tell him to tdo something, he will stand up and start making his way over while staring at the tv. LOL. 

dairygirl19

A little of both?

I guess I don't overthink it. It depends on my mood, how frustrated I am and what I need to get done I think.

H and I have the sort of relationship that we don't really get worked up over "Ask" vs. "tell" we just kind of do it and assume the other means no harm.

Lauren79

We have a routine we follow every night.  I cook while DH keep DD's busy.  He cleans while I get her ready for her bath.  He meets me in the bathroom while I am finishing DD's bath and cleans up the bathroom while I get DD to bed.

lucylea

I ask, but am notorious for not saying please, which DD now busts me on.  :-)  

As far as dinner, we fell into a routine while we were dating that I cooked so he set the table and cleared the table when we were done eating.  Now that we have kids He and DD set the table while I cook, then he clears the dishes and empties the clean dishes from the dishwasher while I clean up DS (who makes an absolute mess at every single meal).   After the kids are in bed I re-load the dishwasher and get it started to run overnight.  

thetwinkies&Vivi

We have a routine around here and each have our own "chores" but when something else needs to be done I generally ask him. If I'm frustrated or he's ignored something I will tell him it needs to be done. A lot of the time he ask me what needs to be done. We actually do really well keeping up and communicating about the upkeep of the house.

MandG2010

Communicating with my husband has become an artform in my house.  If I say something needs to be done, it will get done in his time, not necessarily when I want it done.  So...if I want it done now, I ask "Will you help me?"; if it just needs to be done at some point (his decision) I say "the trash is full"; I often leave him a To-Do List for his days off (he has days off during the week while I'm working) this is understppd to be a Do Today List.  I don't really like having to leave a list, but that seems to be the best way for both of us to set expectations.

Leinistar

I generally don't "ask" but i'll say "please do the dishes before you go to sleep tonight".