The grief is suffocating me. I can't believe that tomorrow at 7:30 am it will be a week since Eli's heart beat for the last time. It makes me panic and feel like Im going to throw up. This has turned me into a different person, it has changed everything. I want to honor him with every moment of every day but I can barely even function at this point.
I don't know how all of you that are further out from you loss have made it through. I admire you and I hope to be as strong as you some day. I feel so empty right now.
There's no real point to this post, just had to get it out and I knew you ladies would understand. Thank u for listening.
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Re: Tomorrow will be a week...
We are here for you - to share in your grief however you need us.
You are a different person, you will be forever changed but that doesn't have to be a bad thing. You are a mother, you have a son who you love with all your heart and who you can and will honor for the rest of your life.
BFP #2 - Sylvie V. Q. born and died on 10.28.11 at 21w.
BFP #3 - Evie V. Q. Fetal demise @ 16w. DC 7.8.12
BFP #4 - Beatrix V. Q. Born 6.2.13 at 23w6d.
My blog My chart
I know that where you are right now seems unreal, and it is almost impossible to see through the fog. I dealt with extreme anxiety after my loss, I couldn't make any decisions, I was totally lost.
When people told me it takes time, I know they were right but I didn't want to hear that or believe it. Now, I feel the difference time has made. It doesn't hurt any less with time, but you will learn to live in a new way, and you will be able to honor your son in a way that is meaningful to you and your family.
I am so sorry you are going through this.
The day the Bump died - Jasper is wise
Bayberry is so right. I am 6 months out and I still grieve for my little girl. I have learned to laugh again and live this "new normal." I could never see myself 6 months out from when it happened and now I can't believe that we have gotten this far. It sucks, but we all get through it in our time and in our own way.
((HUGS))
BFP #1 12.24.07 - DD born @ 39w1d on 08.26.08

BFP #2 08.04.11 - DD born still @ 37w3d on 03.25.12
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TTC #3 since May 2012
BFP #3 12.29.12 - CP @ 4w2d on 01.02.13
BFP #4 10.17.13 - CP @ 4w2d on 10.23.13
BFP #5 04.06.14 - MMC 05.07.14
No longer trying to conceive.