Meltdowns/ BIG tantrums

Mammina

If your child has major and severe tantrums , how do you handle them?


We are getting DS evaluated, via our state program and privately, but could use some advice in the interim.


I'm wondering if there are ways to go about this that I haven't considered. To be clear, I'm talking about behavior that can be destructive and dangerous, not just a screaming child.

pastalady

The only thing I have found that has helped with DD's meltdowns is to put myself in slow motion. I count to 10 to calm down, then try to communicate as best I can. I talk really slow, move very slow. It calms her down.

We also try to stop them before they start if possible. Once DD gets going it can last about 4 hours. Not worth it lol! Being tired, hungry and over stimulated are triggers and we try to not let those things happen. Also, sensory issues are big deals in our house. If she says a shirt hurts, off it comes. If she doesn't want a coat I don't push.

The only other thing that could help, depending on your child, is weight. When DD has a meltdown she likes me to hold her really tight. Weighted blankets help too.

Trial and error are all you can do. Good luck to you!

robynlesley

If you are concerned for his safety during these tantrums/meltdowns, and can safely (for both you and him) move him to an area where he cannot hurt himself or be destructive, that may be a temporary option until you have a better solution.

I hope the evaluations bring you strategies and the help you need.

Princess_Lily

DS current behavior is prone to major meltdowns during times where he doesn't want to be stopped from doing something he wants to do.

Hitting/Kicking is an automatic timeout. 

 

For Periods of Play                                                                                         I provide him with 5-4-3-2-1 minute warnings (both visual & verbal) - this usually   allows for the transitioning to run smoothly.  However, if he still gets in a fit I will   tell him he has two choices: to move on to X or X activities.  If he still refuses, I   tell him that I will then make the decision for him, and I do.

For Public Meltdowns                                                                              When we are leaving a store, I will take him outside, get down to his level and tell him he is in timeout.  I will explain how it is time to go, and either he could stay in timeout or he could leave nicely.

 

He makes his choices. 

Mammina

Thanks so much for your thoughts, ladies. I have tried moving him or holding him tightly but he will bite if we try that. Talking seems to agitate him more, so I have basically only been able to consciously do nothing. That is the only thing I have found that decreass the severity and duration, but that means he is doing something that will hurt him and I have to watch idly by. I also hope our evaluations shed some light on some more proactive and helpful strategies. Thanks again for your experiences.

Mammina

Hello auntie, I have read The Explosive Child at your suggestion and have been trying to do exactly what you suggested. I updated right above your post, and I do , in fact, remain silent and ride it out. I set him up for success, prepare for everything, and try to avoid tantrums at all costs. I feel like I am doing everything "right" but with no improvements. Things have actually escalated in recent months.