Postpartum Depression
New to the board
I've been around TB for a while, but I'm just coming over to this board now...
I have an 8 month old son, I'm a SAHM, and I have a very long, roller coaster history of depression and anxiety. I was taking cellexa a few years ago while on an ordered leave from work, but have been doing very well until about two months ago.
I noticed I wasn't sleeping well, exhausted, moody, irritable, sad, emotional, and not feeling close to my son like I wanted to. Like most, I have good days and bad days. I have been able to recognize what's happening, and I've been trying to get myself through it with lots of positive thinking and proactively adjusting my routines and seeking out help with my son as much as possible. But it's getting harder and harder to control this beast! I know meds will help me, but I really don't want to go to my doc with yet.another problem! Stupid, eh? I've got a herniated disc in my lower back, which is pinching nerves and making my leg go dead half the time. It's hard for me to summon the physical strength sometimes to even lift my son. Pile on top of my pain and dead leg the 40 lbs I've gained since his birth and the fact that I can hardly walk nevermind do an aerobic workout, and I'm feeling pretty crappy most of time!
I'm trying, but positive thinking just doesn't seen to be enough anymore.
But! My son stood up on his own today! Things like that make me forget about being depressed for a while!
I have an 8 month old son, I'm a SAHM, and I have a very long, roller coaster history of depression and anxiety. I was taking cellexa a few years ago while on an ordered leave from work, but have been doing very well until about two months ago.
I noticed I wasn't sleeping well, exhausted, moody, irritable, sad, emotional, and not feeling close to my son like I wanted to. Like most, I have good days and bad days. I have been able to recognize what's happening, and I've been trying to get myself through it with lots of positive thinking and proactively adjusting my routines and seeking out help with my son as much as possible. But it's getting harder and harder to control this beast! I know meds will help me, but I really don't want to go to my doc with yet.another problem! Stupid, eh? I've got a herniated disc in my lower back, which is pinching nerves and making my leg go dead half the time. It's hard for me to summon the physical strength sometimes to even lift my son. Pile on top of my pain and dead leg the 40 lbs I've gained since his birth and the fact that I can hardly walk nevermind do an aerobic workout, and I'm feeling pretty crappy most of time!
I'm trying, but positive thinking just doesn't seen to be enough anymore.
But! My son stood up on his own today! Things like that make me forget about being depressed for a while!
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Re: New to the board
Don't be ashamed to ask for help. You need it, and your son needs you to get it. Good luck!
I'll definitely be having surgery! My doctor put in a referral for me to see the neurosurgeon, but since there's only one where I live, it can take up to a year to see him! Then, he'll want an MRI, which can take up to 6 months... So, until then, it's muscle relaxers, pain relievers, chiropractic care and physio therapy!
And thanks for the support! I'm really starting to think I should talk to my doctor... This morning when hubby was leaving for work, I was on the couch with my son, in tears, just wishing hubby would turn around and say "You know what, I'm calling in sick today. You need some rest and help today.". Of course, he didn't, though.
Well, at least my coffee is ready, finally!
All my friends work Monday to Friday, my sister works this afternoon, and has her 3 year old home today with a cold. My MIL works nights Sunday, Monday and Tuesdays, and my husband is an assistant manager at a restaurant that has no general manager, and no one to cover for him. I've been planning to call our local health authority to see if there's any services to help PPD Moms, but I haven't been able to stop crying long enough to talk today.
This has really hit me very hard in the last few days... I was fighting it so hard, I did NOT want to get here... it's all I can do today to make sure my son doesn't do anything that could hurt him, and to make sure he's fed and change his diaper...