Spreading Births

mkaultman29

What is everyone's ideal from seperation betwween birthtimes especially if you are over 35 but dont want just one.

FormerlyKrista555

Well, I'm 31, but..

For us, 20 months (the gap between DD and DS) is perfect.  Maddie was pretty self-sufficient, had already self-weaned, and was sufficiently excited about babies enough that she was very interested in baby brother.  She is still doing great and hasn't shown any jealousy. 

We hope to have at least one more (maybe two?)  and we think 20 months would again be a good gap.

fredpuma

I have always felt 18 months to 2 years, but I've recently come to the realization that that's not the best thing for the baby I have now. Kitty is a very high needs baby, and I don't think she would cope well with shared attention so quickly. Now we are looking at 2.5 3 years between kids.
I'm twenty eight.

MollySm

I'm 34 and we're still trying to figure that out.  Ideally I like 2 - 3 years between kids, but we want a large family and I'm 34, so we're trying to figure it out.  We definitely wouldn't even try (I'm on the pill) until Lucia is 1.  So that would be 21 months or more.  But we also are considering waiting until next October (because if we got pregnant right away, we still wouldn't have the baby until H finished school in June).  That might be easier on us, but again because we want a large family, and who knows how long it will take to get pregnant, we haven't quite decided which of the 2 options we will choose.

The girls I nanny for are 12 months apart, and IMO that is too close.  The older one really had to grow up so quickly.  But with our ages we wouldn't want to wait too long either.   

laura.noel

I think that's something that is going to differ a lot from family to family. 

I'm 30. We're planning to start trying again when J is three, so I'll probably be 34 when #2 comes. We've chosen this timing so my next maternity leave will be the year before J starts kindergarten.  

mkaultman29

GTK! Thanks. Everyone keeps telling me that I'm an uptight mom and that I shouldnt put myself through it again. Well isnt the way to being a more relaxing mom. Force yourself to overcome your fears!

tmjmeister

My kids are 4 years and 6 weeks apart. For us, that is perfect. If I got pregnant when we first started trying they would be a little less that 4 years apart, we were aiming for Oct./Nov. not Feb.

For us, it is/was important for Mimi to have her time and for us to adjust well to being parents. Also, as soon as I thought I might try again she would go through a rough patch and I would reconsider because it is hard to have one needy kid when you have another kid also. She is pretty independent so I know that I can do almost everything I need to with LJ and she won't be upset/jealous. 

jju_stb_jju

I'm only going to be 27 but we are waiting till ds is at least 5 maybe even 6 to try again, do they would put me at 33 when we try for another. I am 6 years apart from my older sister and 6 years apart from my little brother and honestly we are very close, we all get together alot and do things, we are very open and honest with each other and we could talk about anything to each other but we are that same way with our parents. I have watched my best friends son a couple of times during the week and he's 6 and I love that he is independent enough that if he's thirsty he can go grab a drink from the fridge and use the rr by himself and also I enjoy when I see him playing with ds cause he's very protective and can help me if I ask him to bring me a towel because ds dropped his sippy or something else. But this is just our personal choice.

justadogmommy

I had fertility issues. If I can talk husband into 1 more we will try right away. I'm 38. Took us 2 years and 2 m/c and surgery to get Nora!

heymommy

My older two ( boy then girl) are 3 years 2 months apart. It's a really nice spread.

 

ETA. I was 37 and 10 months old when I had LO. Everything went fine, I'd do it again but I'd try to have the baby at or before 40. 

cs1225

For me, it would have been 2 years.  H wanted 3, so we compromised at 2.5.  Unfortunately, I had 2 m/c when we started to TTC (one was molar, so I had to wait a whole year before TTC again).  So, our girls are 3.5 years apart.  And, I can't imagine it any other way.  Brynn was very self sufficient, which makes caring for an infant easier.  I was worried about her being the only child for so long and how she would adjust, but she has done wonderfully.

The other plus about waiting so long - Brynn will graduate college when Paige starts.  Financially, it will be nice to not have them there at the same time!

I am 33 and want one more.  Still trying to convince DH.  If we do have another, we probably won't wait as long this time because of my age.

Shawnee11507

I guess everyone's experience is different. DH and I each are 3yrs 2mo apart from our next sibling and didn't get along with them at all growing up (and still aren't close), so we feel it is important for our kids to be closer in age than that. I am 33 and want 1-2 more but I just don't want to be pregnant after 36/37. So, if all goes well, we will probably be 20-24 months apart with #2 and 18-24 months apart if we go for #3.

ryry1977

My DS and DD are 2 years and 5 months apart.  I was trying for a 2 year age gap, but lost on in between.  I really like the age gap that they are   DS was able to play on his own (for the most part) at the playground and such while I had DD to care for.  We plan on 1 more baby, not sure just when yet though.  I will be 35 in a month so I don't want to wait too long, but I don't want to cheat DD out of being the baby for awhile.  Right now I am thinking that once I turn 36 (DD will be 21/22 months old) we will start trying again. We will see if I make it that long without wanting a baby earlier! I really like the 2 year 2.5 year age gap. But the clock is ticking!!!!!

karleegirl

My 2 little kids are 5 yrs apart. Ds2 is great with dd. He's not very jealous and so helpful. She lights up when she sees him. ideally thought they would have been 4 years apart. My relationship with dh had to go through some changes first.

tahitiandreamin

I'm 36 now and I'm waiting until DD is 2 before ttc.  Recovery from this pregnancy was just too tough.  I want to make sure that I am ready to handle this again and that my body is in the healthiest state it can be in before we even try again.