Having a pity party

mamatotwins0812

So today is DH's birthday and man have I realized how things have changed now that we have LO's. I wouldn?t change a thing about my life, or having my sweet angels in it, but I am just having one of those moments. I think for the first time I have just realized how drastically our lives have changed. Both boys are sick with colds, so this morning we woke up to saline drops, snot and boogers galore. Then I made them appointments to go see the dr because I was paranoid it could be something worse than just a cold. That took half the morning, which led to having to take the dog to get his vaccines which took the early afternoon. Fast forward to the afternoon when LO was inconsolable and just wanted mommy to hold him. So not only did we have to forfeit our dinner plans, but I was stuck holding him all afternoon and couldn?t even go to the grocery store or cook dinner so DH did it for himself. He doesn?t seem to mind at all, this is all my silly emotions talking, but it is just such a far cry from how we used to do birthdays. I used to make them so special and have a cake and dinner etc. As I sat on the couch having my pity party I thought "well maybe we can have some wine and watch a movie on the couch tonight" only to realize that the boys eat and have bed time at 9, after which we pass out cold from exhaustion. I started balling thinking that his special day would be over shortly and we did nothing to celebrate it. I am just so emotional from them being sick, me being exhausted, weaning from pumping and having RIDICLOUSLY sore boobs today and a clogged milk duct which is killing me, and feeling like a failure as a wife. It?s so silly how we (women) can put such tough expectations on ourselves sometimes. We also decided today that we wont be able to travel back ome for a family wedding because it is just too expensive with me not working. I guess it was just a disapointing day overall. I have these days sometimes where I struggle because we don?t have any family nearby to help out, but then I snap out of it and look at my babies and remember to smile. I think I mostly just miss time with DH. I was on bed rest since 21 weeks so we haven?t been on a date since April and I just miss him and want so badly to be the wife I used to be. Thankfully my mom comes in town next weekend and we will FINALLY get our date- I can?t wait!! Sorry that I ranted on and on but I always know you fellow MoM's will understand. Thanks for listening .

leapgirl8

I was right there with you, emotionally, when ours were that age. I can tell you that life looks much rosier from this side of 4 months old. They are happier and easier and they go to bed around 7:30, so we have the evenings to ourselves, which makes a HUGE difference. You will be more rested and start feeling more connected to your husband and your old life again. Hang in there!

lmydogally

Your still in the thick of things and nothing feels like it will ever be fun again.  I remember being Soooo excited about mothers day.  Biggest flop ever.  Babies crying, mommy sad we didn't get to go to brunch, daddy sad that moony was sad.  But I promise you, next birthday be it yours or your Husbands, will be fun.  

mirnb

Hang in there....it will get better!!! You will get your evenings back soon and that can be time for you and hubby! Enjoy your date once your mom comes!

Reilly626

I'm where you are at! Mine just got over colds which delayed shots which meant no outings. I think back to the first month home and its so much easier- from 24 bottles to 11!! Know it gets easier! I so look forward to 4 months bc if what the girl above wrote! I go to bed at 7 pm to get through the night and hardly see my husband because of it, but I need to function. 

melcass

Our twins are 14 weeks tomorrow and we were just commenting today how they have gotten easier.  We were able to sit down watch the Packer game and hang out.  One baby sat in her bouncer and the other played under her playmat.  They are just more content, don't cry as often, smile and baby talk and they go I bed at 7:00/7:30 which leaves us the night.  Before they didn't go to bed till 9:00 or so.  It will get easier.