Telling LO the day of the csection?

Mrs.RockyM

I'm scheduled for my RCS in 2 mondays.  DD1 is 3.5 years old, and knows the baby is coming very soon.

I'm not sure if we should just drop off DD1 at preschool and just not say anything to her and have grandma tell her when she comes to pick her up, or if we should say something to her that morning. 

stewz

I want to know what others did/do too. I feel like we may tell dd (she's 3.5 too) the day of. However, we may not have her visit until the next day. I don't know?maybe the next day? I've heard to wait until the day after for 1st to come visit so they don't freak out when they see tubes and such. That'll be so tough for me but I think dd would get really upset about seeing me laid out the day of. 

tmjmeister

Mimi spent the night at my parents house the night before since we had to be at the hospital at 6am. We did tell her that when we saw her next that we would be in the hospital with her brother. She didn't go to school that day because I wanted her to be one of the first people to see the baby, my mom brought her by a couple hours after birth. She was so excited and happy when she got there, a little nervous too. 

tmjmeister

stewz:

I want to know what others did/do too. I feel like we may tell dd (she's 3.5 too) the day of. However, we may not have her visit until the next day. I don't know?maybe the next day? I've heard to wait until the day after for 1st to come visit so they don't freak out when they see tubes and such. That'll be so tough for me but I think dd would get really upset about seeing me laid out the day of. 

Mimi was 4 when LJ was born and she was fine. I was sitting up in the bed and she only saw the IV in my hand. I told her what it was and she was fine. I did make sure that I had on a little powder and lip balm so I didn't look like death. 

Mrs.DeliaMarieP

I will definitely be telling DS beforehand. For him, it is best to give him warning of big changes, he has always adjusted better that way.  He is 3.

KariChadDora

We told our son, who was 2.5 at the time, the night before when we put him to bed.  We had to leave at 5 am to check-in and my Mom came to stay at our house with him.  As we were getting him ready for bed we just told him that when he woke up in the morning Mommy and Daddy would be at the hospital getting his baby sister our of Mommy's tummy and that later in the day Grandma would bring him to see us and meet the baby.  I am not sure how much he really understood but he didn't question it and still went to bed and slept all night just fine.  My mom brought him up to see us at about 11 am and after a short visit my husband took him out to lunch real quick while picking up a smoothie for me.  He then went home with my Mom for nap-time.  He was a little weirded out about seeing me in the hospital bed with my IV and catheter but was otherwise totally fine.  The following day he came up for another visit in the morning and this time I made sure to be out of bed, dressed in my own clothes (yoga pants and nursing tank) and sitting in the rocking chair and he was much more OK with me then. 

CBNJ2012

I didn't tell my 3 year old the day of. She went to DC and had a sleepover with grandma. The next day, my DH picked her up at DC after her nap and brought her to the hospital. I didn't want her to visit until I had 24 hrs of recovery and they removed the IV and catheter. Anticipating the visit would have been too much for her. It worked out great and when she came, I was out of bed and able to greet her and enjoy the first meeting of sisters. 

maybridetobe04

My daughter is a bit older at 5 but she already knows her sister is coming Oct 29th.  She hears us talking about the baby coming and when so thought better to discuss it openly.  She will be staying with my parents the night before so no way that they aren't going to discuss it (they would if I told them not too but see no reason to keep it from her ...)  When she was younger I might not have told her so far in advance but would have told her a few days or a week before

capulet

DD was four when DS was born.  I'm sure I would have told her the night before and said a nice goodbye and everything (I was scheduled to go in at like 6 AM for my RCS), but as it turned out my water broke early and everything was rushed.  It was fine though, and she came to visit with DH's parents in the first round of visits the next day.  DD was so late that I was shocked I went into labor at 38w4d with DS, so you probably ought to have a plan for how to handle DD1 (both logistically and emotionally) if you go into labor before your scheduled RCS.

moonfaerie

We told our kids all the time how long until they met their new sister. "In two weeks mommy will go to the hospital to have your sister," "in one week..." "in three days" etc etc. They knew I was counting down the days. lol We told them the night before my c/s that Nana was coming to stay with them tomorrow while daddy takes mommy to the hospital to have the baby. My oldest was 2.5 and she got it, and was excited.

The kids were going to see me in the hospital, but they arrived as I was hemmorhaging and rushed back to a L&D room, so they only got to see the baby. As far as my older kids were concerned, everything was fine when they met the baby at the hospital, and when we came home. They had no anxiety about not seeing me while I was in the hospital.

BananaPancake

I probably wouldn't say anything until they get ready to come visit you when it's all over. It just seems easier for them to grasp things in the moment at 3.5, and saying, "We're going to head over and see Mommy now - the baby is here and wants to meet you! Mommy's been napping today, so you t to sit in bed with her and hold the baby!" is about alllllll she needs to know at that age. Any more than that is just plain confusing.

LeggyNic

DD1 was 27mo when DD2 was born.  We talked about "Mommy going to the hospital and they'd help get baby sister out" for a week or two prior.  I told her "that's where you'll visit Mommy, Daddy, and baby sister when she arrives" when we'd drive by the hospital.

I didn't have to be to the hospital till 10am and my aunt came over to watch DD1 so both our Moms could be in the waiting room.  MIL picked up DD1 from our house after nap and brought her to the hospital after dinner. I only had an IV in my hand at that point.  She was a little hesitant but did great and will still say "That's where I visited you when Gracie came out" when we drive by the hospital.