What to do?

Mango79

I'm in need of some advice from people who have been through what I've been through.  Here's the story.

I have always dreamed of a big family.  However, with both of my pregnancies, I have ended up on hospital bed rest around 32 weeks for preterm labor.  Both boys were breech and I required a c-section.  They were also both born at 36 weeks.  I am incredibly lucky because they were healthy and were able to come home with me and continue to do great today!

So, now it's time to talk about #3.  DH would support me through anything but has expressed concerns of me going into the hospital for a third time.  OBGYN says it's pretty much guaranteed but that it's not necessarily a health risk to me so she says it's safe to go ahead and do it.  Is it fair to put my family through all my appts. and bed rest for another baby?  Part of me thinks that I already have 2 beautiful boys, maybe I'm being selfish and greedy?  I also need to consider the unpaid work time I'd have to take.

Thanks for your thoughts! 

mgade001

I haven't been on bedrest and this is my first, but I did have to take off 6 weeks of unpaid leave during first tri due to severe hyperemesis. I am also looking at going on "modified" duty soon, due to some of my high risk issues (I'm an RN). I'm told that they may or may not be able to accommodate. If not, it would mean short term disability. 

The way this pregnancy has gone, I will tell you that I honestly don't know that I could do it again. I'm still throwing up some days, and I face a lot of potential challenges ahead- not mention the big and unexpected financial hit. 

That said, it's a personal choice. You chose to risk having another even after a difficult 1st pregnancy. I'm sure you don't regret that You'll have to weigh the risks/benefits and make a decision with your family. If you choose to have a 3rd, I don't think it's selfish or greedy, but you might be even more taxed and tired than you were for the others.

Wishing you the very best, and congrats on 2 healthy boys! 

chicky1231

If you would be good financially and you really want a third then do it.... It is only a short time frame of sacrifices that in the end bring a new life into your family. If it would really mess your family up on the financial end then maybe plan ahead.
My first pregnancy was draining...7 trips to labor and delivery, 10 weeks of bed rest, having to quit my job early. It took a lot for me to want to do it again and part of me didn't because I was worried how it would effect my toddler of it all happened again. In the end I wanted her to have a sibling so I'm sucking it up and taking every precaution with my Dr's in hopes of avoiding bed rest. Will I do it again, no..we said only two kids and even though a third sounds good sometimes I really don't want to go through this again.
We're you meds to prevent early labor list time? P17 shots help prevent that so if you get put on them your chance of no hospital stay is greater.

weddedwife

I don't know the answer to this, but I may be facing the same dilemma one day. (FX that everything goes smoothly with this baby!) I have already lost one baby, and now this pg is so complicated. I don't know that there's a right answer. But I believe if your desire for another child outweighs the fears and uncertainties, then maybe it's what you should do. That said, definitely plan ahead!

Wally3

That is really up to you and your DH and how you think your family and you can handle being on bedrest again.  I had ds at 34 wks no warning.  With this pg I had 17p shots, 3 trips to L&D between 32  - 34 wks.  I could not be pg again but that is me personally and DH and I always talked about 2 or 3 kids, so it isn't that big of change in our family picture.