Getting DH to do a SA- advice?

ksgsmu

So I called and made DH an appointment with a urologists that specializes in male fertility. Dh has low testosterone levels although no symptoms. He was checked at a yearly physical with his primary who wanted to give him replacement testosterone.  I did quick research and said no way- it can kill sperm count.  And I want him treated by a specialist not his primary doctor for something that important. I have suspicions that the low T is most likely causing us some issues in the TTC department.  So before I move forward with any more testing or treatments on myself I am forcing him to go get a SA and see the Urologists.

DH wants a baby badly and I keep reminding him that it is important, but he is a nervous wreck and tried to get out of it already. The appointment is next week. I have offered to go with him... which he says he doesn't want me to go, but I am a control freak who is worried he won't get the info he needs or tell the doctor important stuff.   I am being very sweet and understanding his fears, but I am started to get annoyed how dramatic he is being about it. 

Have any of you gone with your DH to a SA or Urologist appointment?   Any advice?

BootsOrHearts

They won't necessarily ask for a sample then. My OB gave us the collection bottle and let us go home and do it and bring it in (whenever) within 30 minutes or something like that, so we could do our business at home which I think is a lot less stressful for him. Good luck, I hope the results are good.

ksgsmu

ah that is a good point!  I should call and ask them about when the collection will take place and how etc... ( He won't call) We only live about 10 minutes from the office so hopefully we can do it at home-- he would feel so much better about that!

robbensm

Think DH is going to have to do that soon so I'm sure I will have a similar battle on my hands.  My plan is to hit him with some guilt over how many blood draws, uncomfortable exams and testing I have gone through/will go through to help put it into perspective for him. 

jbelle

robbensm:

Think DH is going to have to do that soon so I'm sure I will have a similar battle on my hands.  My plan is to hit him with some guilt over how many blood draws, uncomfortable exams and testing I have gone through/will go through to help put it into perspective for him. 

While my DH didn't have a problem with doing the SA, I think mentioning my impending HSG certainly prompted him along. I told him about a couple "horror stories" I read online and he suggested the SA be done before I did the HSG.

icogburn

Our next step is SA for DH. But he is very reluctant to do it, even from the privacy of his home.  I am not pushing him. Because I know when I push, he runs.  I figure if we start pushing 9/10 months with no BFP, he will be more open to getting it done. I would be worried about him telling the doctor everything, too.  But at some point I have to trust him and let him man up.  Maybe you could write a list for him to take to the doctor with him?  

Snapdragon333

If he really won't let you go to the appointment with him, maybe you could write down some questions that your dh can ask the doctor.  I have found it really helpful though when dh goes with me to my infertility appointments, it is hard for me to remember all of the information...especially when I'm the one being poked and prodded...maybe that would help your dh realize that it would help if you did go with him.

With his first sperm sample, my dh was willing to do it at home and I ran it in to the office which is about 10 minutes away.  Now that we are used to the routine of IUIs, he now feels comfortable giving the sample in the office.  Hopefully when the process progresses, it will be less stressful for your dh too.  I think that guys are most nervous because they are so worried that they are the cause of IF, they don't want to hear that they may have low sperm count etc.          

10-4LilBuddy

My DH balked at doing an SA.  Then he went with me to my HSG where he was instructed to hold down my shoulders because I was in so much pain.  Doing his SA wasn't such a big deal after that.  Also, we're doing IUIs so subsequent SA's are no big deal now.  He does like that he can do them at home instead of taking them in. 

Are you seeing an RE?  Can you do the SA through your RE first then get a referral to a urologist if you are certain something is up with his SA?  A urologist may not be needed yet.  If he does need one, then getting the orders from the RE may make him a more willing participant.

herecomesthesun

I just politely pointed out that my testing was much more invasive and he gets to do the "fun" testing. I may have also played it up that I was jealous. 

I would much rather do what he gets to do than have blood taken and ink shot up my cervix. 

BabyVDM

I did't have any issue wih DH he webt ahead an asked for one befor w even knew we wre going to have an issue.  HHe said the worst part was the trying not to touch anything in the collection room.  apparently they put plastic on the couch!  

 

HeathernSteven

My DH wanted me to get all the tests 1st  so I did then he had to get his SA, we did it at home an then he drove it the hospital to get tested, he did need to make an appointment. well I "helped" him. THe guy was so stressed over the situation that it was a horrible sample. When the results came back he said he knew he was "shooting dust". After that sample the Ob sent us to a male fertility urologist, he had 2 more SA before seeing the Urologist, and the physical test was fine, the subsequent tests were all much better....now urologist wants a test every 3 months until we BFP, but that may change once I have my 1st RE appt in NOvemeber.

ksgsmu

Thanks for the input and advice!

- I am calling the office today to find out more info on how and when we do the SA.

- I am sending him to a Urologists who specializes in fertility  instead of a RE because of the Low T issue.  Whether we are TTC or not I want him to see a specialist.  Low T has other health impacts outside of the TTC world.  The specialist works next door to the RE we are considering and their practices work together a lot.  Once we see what we are dealing with then we will proceed with getting an RE.  We are OOP on all fertility costs so going to our own doctors and doing basic testing is our plan.  If we need to we will move to an RE first of next year and go OOP.  Insurance sucks