thoughts on this?

Turtle143

My aunt/Liv's babysitter (in her early 50s, mom's younger sister) said last week to me that very soon DH won't be able to change Liv's diaper anymore. I frowned not understanding...she added "well she's a growing girl!" End of discussion but I understood what she meant.

The other day, she mentioned "she's a grown little girl, daddy can't change her diapers anymore." I again didn't comment on this.

Not sure how I feel about it. I understand she's a girl but I guess I never thought of it. Or giving malice to it. She's his daughter, for crying out loud! I'm sure DH hadn't either. What's wrong with this picture? I haven't told DH about my aunt's comment. Not sure if I don't want him to feel.... offended?

Thoughts?

rlmanning

I wouldnt say anything to DH. You dont want DH to be uncomfortable around your aunt. That is just odd to me. My DH will change DD's diaper as long as she is in them. He will also help with baths too. Maybe you should ask your momit's her sister, right? about it. See what her thoughts are.

amypogg6

I agree that DH will be changing DD's diaper and bathing her as long as I will. He's the dad, not some random guy. Does she have children of her own? I wonder why she thinks like that... Oh, I would probably tell DH in a way questioning her odd thinking. I don't know.

chuicafina

It really upsets me, actually, when people sexualize young children like that. My opinion is that by saying things like this we're creating a very unhealthy attitude for our children about their bodies. I get that we need to be cautious and protect our children, but like you said, he's her dad. And I think part of our job as parents is also to protect them from growing up to fast. So, while we should teach them that only certain people should help them in the bathroom/change their diaper, is it really healthy for a toddler to realize that she should cover herself up and feel embarrassed if her dad walks in while she's taking a bath? (I'm not saying she would realize this right away, but at some point she will). 

So, I don't really know if you should tell your DH or not. I guess that depends on whether or not it will make him uncomfortable caring for your DD around your aunt. I would tell my DH, but it would be to commiserate about the craziness of my aunt's opinion. 

Diver0214

I agree that DH will be changing her and bathing her until she doesn't need it anymore. He is the one who gives her a bath nightly if he didn't she wouldn't bathe but once or twice a week.

I also don't get why people feel the need to say things like that. I agree with chucafina in that people tend to sexualize things like that too much. At a certain point he will not see her naked but that is years to come.

nfrtny

My face just got all kinds of WTF written all over it reading this. Why would she say that??? That's creepy. And weird. And no, YH will not stop changing her because she's a "girl" all of a sudden!! She's always been a girl!! She always had a vagina!! It's not like she's about to start PMS'ing. She's a toddler

kayjay10

chuicafina:

It really upsets me, actually, when people sexualize young children like that. My opinion is that by saying things like this we're creating a very unhealthy attitude for our children about their bodies. I get that we need to be cautious and protect our children, but like you said, he's her dad. And I think part of our job as parents is also to protect them from growing up to fast. So, while we should teach them that only certain people should help them in the bathroom/change their diaper, is it really healthy for a toddler to realize that she should cover herself up and feel embarrassed if her dad walks in while she's taking a bath? (I'm not saying she would realize this right away, but at some point she will). 

So, I don't really know if you should tell your DH or not. I guess that depends on whether or not it will make him uncomfortable caring for your DD around your aunt. I would tell my DH, but it would be to commiserate about the craziness of my aunt's opinion. 

I agree with all of this 100%.  I would ask your aunt that if your LO was a boy, would that mean you (and her since she's a female) would have to stop changing his diaper at this age???

cvl105

I'd actually be kinda offended that she would even think that MH would be anything but appropriate when changing his daughter's diaper. MH will be changing Callie's diapers until she's no longer in diapers.

Turtle143

It was really weird. Next time, I am going to reply to her and tell her to stop giving meaning to something so natural as a father taking care of his daughter. It made me upset too but I am honestly more polite (than I put off) and so I also didn't want to offend her by discounting what she was saying. But it's even more clear to me now: such comments were just ridiculous. I totally agree with you Chuicafina. I also don't know how some people sexualize children at such a young age. She's lived in the Philippines all of her life except the last 1.5years and so I wonder if the culture had anything to do with her thinking. You're all probably thinking 'what kind of culture is that with malicious thinking?' I don't know but I do know men over there are perverted.

Anyways....thanks for sharing your thoughts on this. I am probably going to mention it to DH soon. Because we share everything. I feel like he deserves to know. I know he'll probably just shrug it off though. 

 

waterfall11

DH will be changing DD diaper and clothes as long as she needs it.nbsp; Heck, at the Y kids can go into the locker room of the opposite sex until they are over 4 years old, her own father should be able to change her.nbsp;

march2008

Personally, I'd bring it up with my DH because I'm comfortable talking about everything with him. I actually mentioned this post to him and he thought it was bizarre that anyone would be uncomfortable with a father changing their own child's diapers. We both think it's completely appropriate for him to help out with diaper changes and that he'll also help with potty training as well.