I'm having a rough time with preschool

supermom83

Let me start this post by stating several things to bring it all into perspective:

1) My 3.5 year old has a serious speech delay (it's called Apraxia of speech and it's an auditory processing disorder) and has been in speech therapy since he was 16 months old. He only started talking about 6 months ago. It's hard to understand him and communication in general is more challenging.  

2) The auditory processing disorder manifests in that if more than one person is talking at the same time or there is a lot of background noise, he is unable to distinguish what is being said. We are still working on two-step directions with him. In a classroom of 12 kids I'm assuming that it is hard for him to distinguish the teachers voice and instructions from everything else going on in the classroom.

We started preschool a couple weeks ago, a 3 day for 3 hour church program. I am finding that communication with the teacher is very limited and hard to come by. The teacher seems so stand-offish and doesn't seem willing to share much of anything about what happens during the day. My son had a poop accident one day and I asked her what had happened and she said he didn't tell her he needed to go. Is it crazy of me to assume that a child with a known sever speech disorder and communication issues (I gave them a whole folder of what is going on with his speech and therapy) would have difficulty telling a new person that they need to go to the bathroom and that maybe she should try a little harder to get to understand him? 

She closes the door to the classroom and will make all parents line up outside the classroom and her helper will bring each child to the door one by one. The teacher obviously doesn't want parents in her classroom and she will often be inside the classroom and only poke her head out once and a while to tell a parent something generally negative about what happened. Like the other day she poked her head out and told me my son wasn't listening to her today and had trouble with transitions. What am I supposed to do with that information exactly? And when I ask my son, he obviously can't tell me anything since he still talks in 2-3 word simple sentences. She knows about the auditory processing issue and yet told me he didn't listen to her, like he was intentionally disobeying her. I mean, he could have very well been disobeying and just not listening but I don't know because that was literally all she said to me then she went back into the classroom. I couldn't even ask her a question. 

Are all preschool classrooms and teachers like this? I am starting to think that maybe this particular preschool/teacher is not going to work out for us. They had assured me they could meet our specific needs in regards to my sons issues and yet this lack of communication is really making me wonder if they can. Today I picked him up and he had a pee accident at school. Again they said he didn't tell them he needed to go. They have a bathroom in the classroom but he was outside on the playground. I'm not sure why he's having so many accidents now and I suspect it's because he can't tell them he needs to go or maybe he's saying it and they can't understand him? I have no idea because the teacher won't communicate with me. I'm frustrated and want to help but don't even know where to start since I have no idea what's going on in the classroom. 

bumpuser511563

Sounds like the teacher does not know how to work with your DS.

I would try to look for a different school that specilizes in special needs. Have you tried going through your school district?

Not all preschools are like this and my DS attends both daycare and preschool. I spend a few minutes talking to the daycare teacher before and after every class. I call the preschool teacher during her conference periods to talk about any issues.

KathrynMD

You shouldn't be in a  church preschool; you need a public special ed/special needs preschool where your LO can get integrated services w/ trained educators.

Angela814

KathrynMD:

You shouldn't be in a  church preschool; you need a public special ed/special needs preschool where your LO can get integrated services w/ trained educators.

I agree. This preschool doesn't sound like the right fit. The teacher doesn't seem willing or able to make adjustments to work with your DS.

supermom83

My DS has been in PROMT therapy since his second birthday. He has been evaluated by the county and has an IEP. He was deemed too high functioning to be placed in a public school preschool for special ed and only qualified for the resource program which is what he is currently getting teacher comes into the house once a week to work with him. He is by no means shy and is very social and outgoing and at first glance you wouldn't think anything was wrong, but he struggles with directions and like auntie pointed out, it might make him appear slow even though he is smart as a tac. He obviously has many communication issues also.

I don't know what my other options would be for him since he doesn't qualify for the special ed preschool. They all told me (they being school officials though early intervention and his two private therapists) that he should be enrolled in a normal preschool and that he'd probably do well. I really am at a loss at what to do. I want him to experience a classroom setting and learn about expectations in a classroom before starting kindergarten so he can be as successful as possible when school-aged but I guess the odds are stacked against him. I could cry.

Littlejen22

I wold push the school way harder for special Ed. And that preschool is not a fit for him, talk to a director and if nothing changes switch schools

LoveEeyore

Ask for another IEP. Once kkids are in preschool, regardless of functioning, the IEP should focus on meeting goals in that setting.   Sounds like the teacher would happily support taking the burden off of herself.  Ask the teacher what she thinks he needs to be successful in her class.  Would she support having the resource teacher come support him in the classroom?  Would the resource teacher be open to going in to observe him in the classroom and then provide some support/tips for the teacher.  You can spend the year moving him around to find a better fit or you can push to find a way for the resources you have to make it a better fit.  Good luck.

LoveEeyore

I see you're in NOVA.  I'm an advocate for many families in FCPS and sounds like you need to push them to be more creative in their implementation of the IEP.  If you're in FCPS, it's not podunk one size fits all.  It's one size fits all who don't challenge.  The others have to fight but there are FAR more solutions than you think.  There are tons of preK sped classes with kids all over the spectrums.  Especially in the non-cat. 

supermom83

LoveEeyore:

I see you're in NOVA.  I'm an advocate for many families in FCPS and sounds like you need to push them to be more creative in their implementation of the IEP.  If you're in FCPS, it's not podunk one size fits all.  It's one size fits all who don't challenge.  The others have to fight but there are FAR more solutions than you think.  There are tons of preK sped classes with kids all over the spectrums.  Especially in the non-cat. 

I am in NOVA. We live in fairfax and our school is laurel ridge, don't know if you're familiar with it. I  will try and talk to the resource teacher on Monday when she comes. I don't know how I can push but I'll see what she says.

LoveEeyore

supermom83:

LoveEeyore:

I see you're in NOVA.  I'm an advocate for many families in FCPS and sounds like you need to push them to be more creative in their implementation of the IEP.  If you're in FCPS, it's not podunk one size fits all.  It's one size fits all who don't challenge.  The others have to fight but there are FAR more solutions than you think.  There are tons of preK sped classes with kids all over the spectrums.  Especially in the non-cat. 

I am in NOVA. We live in fairfax and our school is laurel ridge, don't know if you're familiar with it. I  will try and talk to the resource teacher on Monday when she comes. I don't know how I can push but I'll see what she says.

Talk to her and see what she says.  Don't complain about the teacher.  And remember she has no control over how services are provided, just express your interest and see if she offers to bring it up with her supervisor.  The way to push it is to request a new IEP; a meeting will have to be held to change how his servives are provided anyway (unless she is awesome and can get an addendum without a meeting to try.  Are you interested in pushing the SPED PreK?  It can be a curse or a blessing.  The 2 preK kids I hve now are thrilled.  I've seen awful classes, too, though. Also is he receiving speech?  If she is less than knowledgable and helpful, smile nicely, say thank you and pm me if you want.

macchiatto

I think auntie and LoveEeyore gave great advice. My son also has a teacher come to our house once a week instead of being placed in SN preschool. His delays are more gross motor though, sensory issues, etc. He's also 3.5 and he and his typically developing twin brother have also been in a private preschool since last January right after they turned 3. We've had a similar start to the year where so far I've gotten only negative feedback. This was not the case at all last year so I'm still trying to figure out what the issues are.

Does your child still have an Early Interventionist? Since DS started EI so soon before he turned 3, his EI applied for him to qualify as an at-risk child to keep his EI until he turns 5. It's so helpful to still have her on our team! She is actually going to go observe his preschool for an hour a couple times over the next month. Is there anyone who could go observe and figure out better what's going on? I think having his therapist/resource teacher provide services at his preschool is a great idea, too. DS's itinerant teacher can't do that because of district lines (their preschool is not in the district we're zoned for; even though it's not a public school, they can't cross district lines. silly) but his EI isn't bound by that, fortunately!

jenn_darrin1515

the pee and poop accidents will happen. he has transitioned to a new school , with new teachers and peers and probably gets busy playing with his friends and forgets. I would assume that even tho it is only a 3 hour class there is a potty break at some point with all the kids? My dd's started a new preschool (all day 4 days/week) back in june, and they still have the occassional pee/poop accident - and it is almost always when they are out at the playground (what kid wants to stop climbing to go inside where it is boring to use the potty?) if your ds can't verbally communicate that he needs to use the potty, maybe he could use a sign?

both my girls have had days when they "weren't listening and had trouble with transitions"...one of my dd's is speech delayed and the other is extremely verbal and normal on all development - she was excluded from art time last week b/c she was having such a tough day. all 3 year olds will have their days of not listening. it's the age.

my dd who is speech delayed received EI from 22 months - 3 years. she still receives private ST and is in a small structured private dc/preschool with her twin sister. there are 12 kids to 1 teacher and a assistant. Both EI and her current ST agree that she has some auditory processing issues - she does tend to need extra time to process...and while her verbal communication is almost on par with her classmates when her ST tests her - she has a tendency to mumble and string words together and can be difficult to understand at times. I have spoken with her teacher and she is very receptive to working with my DD - i.e. giving her extra processing time and restating directions....also telling her to slow down and use her words and giving her extra time to restate her thoughts/requests so they can be understood...it seems like simple things, but it makes a world of difference to my dd.

It sounds like your DS is interacting just fine with his peers, and that your concerns are things that can be considered normal preschool behavior/issues. I would be concerned however the the teacher doesn't seem at all interested in talking with you about your ds. have you only tried to have a conversation at pickup? that can be a crazy streessful time...I would ask the teacher if you can call to discuss some concerns with her, or set up a time to meet with her....if she balks at the idea or isn't receptive to your suggestions to help your ds be successful there, then I would look for a new peschool.

eta: after reading hte other responses, I would def push to have his service person observe him in the classroom and perhaps provide services there.

Max'smom

supermom83:

My DS has been in PROMT therapy since his second birthday. He has been evaluated by the county and has an IEP. He was deemed too high functioning to be placed in a public school preschool for special ed and only qualified for the resource program which is what he is currently getting teacher comes into the house once a week to work with him. He is by no means shy and is very social and outgoing and at first glance you wouldn't think anything was wrong, but he struggles with directions and like auntie pointed out, it might make him appear slow even though he is smart as a tac. He obviously has many communication issues also.

I don't know what my other options would be for him since he doesn't qualify for the special ed preschool. They all told me (they being school officials though early intervention and his two private therapists) that he should be enrolled in a normal preschool and that he'd probably do well. I really am at a loss at what to do. I want him to experience a classroom setting and learn about expectations in a classroom before starting kindergarten so he can be as successful as possible when school-aged but I guess the odds are stacked against him. I could cry.

All normal preschool programs are not created equal. I would start by meeting with the teacher and director of your current program to talk about your concerns and maybe they have some too. But I would also look around for another program.

I think you really need to work with your teacher and director to open commnuication. Drop off and pick up will not be an appropriate time to have any sort of conversation, don't expect to get information then. I would set up time

ridesbuttons

My DS2 (now 3.5) was diagnosed with Childhood Apraxia of Speech as well but what you are describing is not my understanding of the disorder, nor my experience of the same.

I understand apraxia of speech is more of a motor planning issue where the brain knows the language but cannot get the signals to the muscles of the mouth and tongue to make the sounds.  It has (IME) no impact on receptive language at all.  It certainly doesn't impact the child's ability to engage in sign language, for example.

Speech therapy has been a wonderful tool for both my boys (both had speech delays, DS2's was more severe).  Keep at it!

I am sure you are frustrated but it sounds like this particular set up is just not a good fit for you and your son.  No shame in looking for a more appropriate setting for him.

supermom83

I need to edit my first post. I meant to say he has Apraxia of speech AND an auditory processing disorder, not that apraxia is an auditory processing disorder. He has both and it's making communication even harder.

Thank you all for your suggestions! I spoke to the director and teacher today and told them to expect an email from me and they both seemed very receptive to that. I'm going to ask for a meeting to discuss the situation and hioefully they can accommodate his needs further but I'm also still looking at other centers that might be better equipt at handling his needs.

jlw2505

My older DD has a speech delay and was born with a brain injury and while mostly fine and developmentally on track, she processes things slower than other kids.  She has always been fine in a mainstream classroom but we did hold her back a year as she needed the extra time to work on her speech and mature.  I would strongly suggest you find a program where their is a teacher who has a special ed background.  It can be a mainstream class but the teacher has to have the education on how to handle a child with special needs and your child does fall into that catagory.  KIds with speech issues often have many other issues and they need some special attention.  My DD went to a daycare center and then to the centers preschool and had some issues.  Starting when she was 3, she also attended a 1 day a week 90 min special ed speech preschool which was great.  The next year, she started PreK at age 4 in a different school district (we open enroll) and they held the speech preschool 2x a week for 90 mins each.  It was amazing and really started getting my DD in the right direction.  She still attended the PreK program full time and was taken out of that class to attend her speech preschool.  The class had 2 therapists and 6-10 kids and was amazing.  Her PreK teacher had a secondary degreee in early childhood special ed and has a DD with ADHD and so got it and was amazing with my DD.  DD is now in a mainstream kindergarten and gets speech services through the elementary school 2x a week and is a totally different child.  You need to find the right preschool for your child in order for him to succeed and this place is not it from what you have said.  I would call your local school and see if they have any programs or what they suggest.

jlw2505

supermom83:

My DS has been in PROMT therapy since his second birthday. He has been evaluated by the county and has an IEP. He was deemed too high functioning to be placed in a public school preschool for special ed and only qualified for the resource program which is what he is currently getting teacher comes into the house once a week to work with him. He is by no means shy and is very social and outgoing and at first glance you wouldn't think anything was wrong, but he struggles with directions and like auntie pointed out, it might make him appear slow even though he is smart as a tac. He obviously has many communication issues also.

I don't know what my other options would be for him since he doesn't qualify for the special ed preschool. They all told me (they being school officials though early intervention and his two private therapists) that he should be enrolled in a normal preschool and that he'd probably do well. I really am at a loss at what to do. I want him to experience a classroom setting and learn about expectations in a classroom before starting kindergarten so he can be as successful as possible when school-aged but I guess the odds are stacked against him. I could cry.

jlw2505

supermom83:

My DS has been in PROMT therapy since his second birthday. He has been evaluated by the county and has an IEP. He was deemed too high functioning to be placed in a public school preschool for special ed and only qualified for the resource program which is what he is currently getting teacher comes into the house once a week to work with him. He is by no means shy and is very social and outgoing and at first glance you wouldn't think anything was wrong, but he struggles with directions and like auntie pointed out, it might make him appear slow even though he is smart as a tac. He obviously has many communication issues also.

I don't know what my other options would be for him since he doesn't qualify for the special ed preschool. They all told me (they being school officials though early intervention and his two private therapists) that he should be enrolled in a normal preschool and that he'd probably do well. I really am at a loss at what to do. I want him to experience a classroom setting and learn about expectations in a classroom before starting kindergarten so he can be as successful as possible when school-aged but I guess the odds are stacked against him. I could cry.

My DD never qualified for special services through the schools EI program.  Kids age out of the program at age 3 though and as soon as my DD turned 3, we had her take her early childhood test which is something in MN that all kids must take sometime between age 3 and starting kindergarten.  She was then referred to the Early Childhood Special Ed program which serves kids that are age 3 until they start kindergarten.  This is the program that she qualified for speech preschool through.  If you have only worked with the school in regard to EI then call and ask to speak to the early childhood special ed department for kids ages 3 and 4.  You might get a different response as kids that are 3 and 4 (or 5 if they start kindy closer to 6) have different things that they are looking at and kids with less sever issues but still have issues can get help.