*auntie* — The Bump
Special Needs

*auntie*

Hi Auntie,

I am writing to received some feedback and suggestions from you as I see (and even referred to you by many) that you are the overall expert/specialist on parenting in general.

So here is the story...My son is 4.5 and will be 5 in February. He is currently attending a Montessori in the Kindergarten program. My son, has always been..difficult both at home and school. Here are some examples:

-Doesn't sit still in circle time, probably 4 out of 5 days in school, he is always getting pulled out of circle time because he disturbs class due to not sitting still, moves around, not paying attention, etc. (I don't want him to adapt to the idea that I don't want to learn so I can disrupt class and get pulled out)

-Take today for example, I sat in class to monitor him. He was the kid that is half-laying on the floor at circle time. During individual work time, he was supposed to stack the cubes of beads to represent the number units. He was playing with it and won't stack it nicely until the teacher came to question him about it. Only then, the teacher has to make an effort to get his attention.

-he can't make eye contact with you for more than 10 seconds. He is almost always looking around and just doesn't show respect by looking at you in the eye. Even when we scold him, his eyes will wonder...however if we talk to him normally, then his concentration is fine.

-when I ask him why he doesn't listen to teacher, he says, "I can't learn. It's hard." "School is boring...etc". "I can't listen" "I am not a good boy"...

-He lacks the maturity level of kids his age. I feel he is always goofing off, not taking things seriously.

-he definitely loves to play outdoors. However, anytime we enroll him in a soccer league,  or just birthday party and if its his "turn" to do something, he always shys away or just says "no" to participation.

-80% of the time he DOES NOT listen and the remaining 20%, I wouldn't say he is an angel but at least he sort of cooperates. 

-I continue to focus on teaching him phonics at home after school, anytime he encounters something he doesn't know..he gives up easily. "I dont know, it's hard..I don't want to do it". It's almost as if, he won't try.

-I mark on a calendar, how many days out of the month that we'd be arguing which turns into a tantrum/crying fest. Today is the 25th day of Sept, out of 25 days, he has cried 12 days. So basically, every other day, there's some confrontation/ argument/push back in the house.

I don't want him to grow up to be a "I can't do this..I can't do that.." type of person. In his classroom of 24 kids and 2 teachers (however, 1 seems more like a helper/assistant than a teacher); I feel he can do much better with a smaller setting and more one-on-one attention.

 I have read Positive Parenting and he is the difficult kid that if I give him an option, "Do you want x or z?" he will say "No, I want Y". If I stress on just X or Z as options, it will then turn into a tantrum/cry fest.

I guess I am asking if you have any suggestions on how to better educate and parent a child like this.Does it sound like he has ADHD? I have considered taking him to a child psychology to see if there's something to learn about his psyche. Anyway, anything you can share would be very much appreciated. Thank you.

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