sleeping in the crib...please help

SamsMom11

Hello all...it has been a while since I have posted on here.  Have not had time to get on the computer.  I got DD in the habit of sleeping in my lap for naps and in our bed during the night.  It is finally taking a toll on me and DH.  I have been trying to get her in the crib for just her nap.  It is not going so hot.  I have been comforting her in the crib and if she is still crying after 20 minutes I leave the room for 4 minutes and then try again.  It is taking her about 45 minutes to go to sleep.  Can you all please share some ideas to make this transition better.  Should I do nap and bedtime together?  CIO if she wakes during the night?  What if she wakes up during nap after only 1/2 hour...try to put her back to sleep or get her out of crib?

 I have read so many different ways.  I think I have confused myself.  Thank you ladies so much for all your advice.

sunset+skies

We had the same issue a couple of months ago. We'd been bedsharing, and then I had to go back to work, so we needed to transition for him to be in a crib at daycare. We started with naps, too. It took a long time, but I think it was the easiest way. We did timed CIO, sort of ferber-ish. The first day it was 2 minutes, then 4, then 6, etc, not going any higher than 40 minutes before he was taken out of the crib. We didn't do the "less than a minute in the room" rule, instead we'd throw in a bit of the "sleep lady shuffle" type stuff, patting his back, moving to standing by the bed, etc. We did try to keep our time in the room to less than 5 minutes. We increased the times by 2 minutes every 3-4 days. We did NOT take him to bed at that point, he just stayed up until he calmed down, then we tried again. For bedtime, we'd let him fall asleep with us, then move him to the crib. Once we had naps down to only 5-10 minutes, we started working on nights. We found that putting him down to bed fully awake actually worked better than putting him down drowsy. Same timeframes as naps. I think we took about a month and a half total to completely transition, but doing it drawn out like this was less stressful for all of us, because he never got really badly worked up. 

 He now goes down to bed fully awake, and is usually asleep within 10 minutes. He rarely cries, unless he's not feeling well, or we can't find his elephant. He's sleeping a good 10-11 hours each night, usually from 7pm until 6am. 

scarlette+noir

All I can do is tell you what we did.

 DS was sleeping in bed with us until he was 11 months old, and to get him to nap I had to lay him on my chest in bed up until about a month ago.

 We started by transitioning him into his crib for bedtime. We started following a strict routine that ended with him in his crib. The first night was rough, and he cried for about an hour total before falling asleep. We'd go in every 15 minutes and pat his back for about 2 minutes, but we wouldn't make eye contact and wouldn't talk to him. 

At first, he would sleep in his crib from about 8:30 until 4am, at which point he'd become inconsolable and we'd have to bring him into our bed. Two weeks after he started sleeping in his crib, he'd make it the whole night through in the crib just fine, usually waking around 8am.

I wasn't so quick to have him nap in his crib because I nap when he naps, and to be honest, I really enjoyed the cuddles involved with napping with him. But, with Niko due to arrive, I knew I had to transition him to nap in his crib since i wouldn't be able to nap with him after Niko was born. I started on a Monday, and just let him play really hard until he was extra tired for his nap, and I laid him in his crib and left the room. He went to sleep with no issues and ever since he naps BETTER now that he's in his crib than when he was in bed with me. 

smurf605

We moved DS from bed sharing to the pack n play in our room. Then we moved the pack n play into his room. Finally we moved him into his crib in his room. When he would fuss when put down, we would rub his back. If he stood up we would lay him back down. Eventually he got sick of us laying him back down and would cry himself to sleep. Until we moved him to his room he was up 23 times a night. Now he rarely walks up in the night. At night he usually talks to himself for maybe 20 min before falling asleep. For naps he will still cry himself to sleep, but not much over 10 minutes. Good luck! I know how confusing it can be because we were there a few months ago. I just did what felt right.

SamsMom11

Thank you Ladies for sharing your stories and ideas.  I feel better.  It confirmed I am on the right track and that there IS light at the end of the tunnel.