"They'll be offended"

EastCoastBride

I see this so much - on these boards and elsewhere.  People getting concerned because others "will be offended" if not invited to ____ event.

I feel like it's getting to a point where *I'm* offended that people are offended!  

The bigger picture of this- it just seems like people are becoming more and more self centered.  They think the world revolves around them and if things don't happen to their exact specifications, they get "offended".

I just see all these "they'll be offended if not invited" problems as one aspect of the bigger problem of people being selfish.  It doesn't matter that someone wants a small party/wedding/shower - all that matters is that YOU should be invited, no matter what that means for their guest list.

 

sandraanddrew

*Applause*

MySallyGirl

Awesome- totally agree!

JenniD2

Agreed. It's my money and my party, I will invite who I chose to invite. End of story.

MelleTX

When I see someone say that so and so will be offended if not invited, I usually ask myself, really? Will they really be offended or are you just speculating as a way to justify invited more people to your shower to get more gifts. 

I can't imagine every being offended at not being invited to a baby shower of a disant cousin. A sister, yes, but that's different. I was not offended when my childhood BFF did not invite me to her wedding 3 hours away.  

MCookie816

      I thought the same. And then... my sister had a small shower for me, only ten invites total; including close female family and three very close friends, of course this excluded a lot of other people. I, of course, thought this would be no big deal, WRONG! Two women I have gone to church with but am not super close with found out about the shower and were upset they were not invited, one even cried, like really actually cried! At first I felt like who is gonna care if they are invited to buy me a present or not. This shouldn't be a reason to invite everyone you know but I guess there are two sides to everything. 

[Deleted User]

I agree with you but, eh, people are weird. I know I have an aunt who MUST be included in EVERYTHING. If she isn't invited to something, she's deeply hurt, and throws a fit...it's kind of ridiculous. I find people like that are overly sentimental and want to be included in the "experience"...Again, ridiculous.

I do agree it's like people have to make everything about them nowadays.

BLPL101

I wasn't going to invite any of DH's family members (except for my MIL) because they live in Iowa and the shower is in CA. After reading a few of the posts here, I decided to invite them. They were really excited to be invited so I'm glad that I went with what the majority said.

PunkyBooster

I don't think I have been offended by not being invited somewhere.

I mean, I might have hurt feelings, particularly if I am the only one out of a specific group to not be included, but it's not something I'd say I would be offended over. 

Liz4444

People offend way too easily.

littleredfish

Classic "first world problems". If not being invited to an event is something to be offended over, then their life is pretty sweet. That should be consolation to get them through the pain.

brooke&ryan&baby

rhubarb123

I think the word "offended" is incorrect in most of these situations and the correct word should be "hurt".  I know for a fact my mom was hurt she wasn't invited to my cousin's wedding shower (although she was invited to the wedding - which of course she didn't know at the time).  My mom has always been pretty close to my cousin.  I wasn't invited either and just thought it was weird...but oh well.

It has been my experience that some people get their feelings hurt if they are not invited and most of them are the older generation...maybe 50 and up.  Maybe they feel they are not "worthy" or that "the guest of honor doesn't like them" - who knows...but they are hurt if they are left off the invite list.

Personally, I would rather have someone think I'm gift grabby by inviting them rather then have someone have hurt feelings by being left off the invitation list.  JMO

tiffmatt

IMO I think the biggest issue is when people cherry-pick their guest list.  If you have a small shower with only close family and friends it's one thing.  But if you work on a team with 10 people and online invite 5, some people may be hurt.  People like to be included.  If they identify as being in the same group, such as a team at work or all of the Aunts in a family, if someone from that group is not invited they can feel hurt.  Now if my mom's step-sisters great-aunt dental hygentist or a girl I haven't spoken to since HS get offended that they weren't invited the mom-to-be may want to say something like "it was a small gathering of close friends and relatives" and hopefully the person will realize they aren't in that particular group.