Discipline for bad words

FancyFrenchie

So DS is picking up everything he hears and although he first heard "damn" from DH and repeated it, he hasn't heard it again and will use a similar sounding word we gave him. However, it seems that every few days he picks up another one... Not from home, nor from MIL, but I don't know if it's from school - or what to do when he says it. We've tried telling him those are bad words and he shouldn't use them. We've tried taking away a favourite toy/book and telling him he'll get it back if he doesn't repeat it again, but nothing seems to permanently work. He's 26 months... Any ideas?

DeniseRN

Mine did that too. I told him those works were not appropriate, one time, and then ignored it. He will quit using them if they don't get a reaction

sadsadie

Tell him when he uses those words you don't hear anything worth listening to, and threaten to ignore him. If he uses the words, ignore him until he apologizes for using the word. Basically, don't give him the attention he is seeking. On the flip side, when he hasn't used a bad word in a long time, comment on how nice it is and how good he is being. Tell him that it shows what a smart boy he is when he uses nice words.

Jena503

The more extreme your reaction, the more fun the word is to say. There's no way a kid who is barely 2 is going to make a connection between using bad words and having a toy or book taken away. I think that reaction is probably doing more to make the words stick in his head than anything.

Ignore it or say mildly, "that's not really a nice word" or if you're trying to figure out where it's from, "that's a new word, who says that?" - again with almost no reaction to the word itself. 

You might also calmly ask him what that word means - it's possible that some of them are mispronunciations (true story, "dump truck" and "dumb f*ck" sound the same from the mouth of many 2yos and if you hear my DS talking about the b*tch, he wants to go to the beach.)

nosoup4u

Just ignore it! Definitely don't punish him for saying it!

PunkyBooster

I would just ignore it. Negative attention is still attention. Reward him for using more appropriate words.

 

theboki

DeniseRN:

He will quit using them if they don't get a reaction

This.  I don't believe words are "bad".  Only intentions are.  If you don't give those words power and extra attention, he won't want to keep using them. 

FancyFrenchie

Thanks for the tips everybody. In fact, when it first happened, we ignored it, but then he kept doing it and his teacher called home about it, so I was trying to try something else. I'll keep ignoring and praising when he doesn't use it. Hopefully it'll help!

caeraRose

While it's certainly a possibility that he's using it to get attention, it's also possible that because he's heard the word spoken, he's trying to figure out which contexts it's acceptable for. You might actually try just explaining to him that it's an "adult" word. That'll give him a very clear explanation of why he can't use it, but someone else might have.

FancyFrenchie

Yes, he's using them in context. For example the first one was (Spanish) "cabrones" and first I told him that that word was only used at Daddy's soccer games (where he heard it), but since he kept saying it, we told him to say "calzones" (underwear), which he now says, but there keep being more (all in Spanish)!

BriDaily

Really? Just teach him what a dam is... use it as an opportunity and totally ignore the negative aspect. If he says it in public, just laugh and tell people you've been teaching him about beavers!

Or you may have to use Spanish... just be creative. Ask him if he knows what the bad words mean, ask him if he wants to know. Chances are if he knows, he may not find the words so attractive.

ncbelle

We just say "not a nice word - that's for grownups to use."  At this point we don't go beyond that because he doesn't "get" how they are not nice (isn't being intentionally bad in other words) - and he's heard us say them (bad mama!).  

French Dads Are Best

Looks like you're doing the right thing, just ignoring the 'bad' word so that your reaction doesn't make him want to use it again. This is a wise approach and many posters have already suggested it. However, for this to work you need everyone on the same page, and it seems that the teachers at his school are reacting to the 'bad' word thus destroying your good work.