struggling.

nicolerae32

Here I am a 22 year old sIngle mom of 2. My DD is nearly 3 and ds is one month. I work full time and I'm a college student. My DD is just a beast though. She is so defiant and overly hyper and never sleeps. She is so defiant she won't even potty train. This behavior was before the baby btw. I've tried behavior counseling..nothing works!! It frustrates me because her father is not best at co parenting..he doesn't put any effort into it. He also never gives me a break because the single life is more important. He is supposed to ha've 50/50 but doesn't. In WI they are pro dad so they don't need to pay child support. I'm just at a loss and don't know what to do!!

Temp937723687505543

First off, let me say that I am the mother of a not quite 3 year old, so take everything I say with a healthy grain of salt. I also have an 11 month old, so I know the struggles of having two little ones. As for your DD, have you tried any parenting books? I have heard good things about The Strong Willed Child, although I've not read it myself and don't know what age it's for. For my part, I focus on consistency when dealing with my DD. My STBX is not nearly as consistent and I can see a difference in the way she acts with each of us. But I do have to focus on staying calm when she pushes my buttons and thinking before I speak. That way if I have to lay down the ultimatum I know it's something I can and will follow through with. As for your ex, I'm sorry he's not making life easier. Enjoy your new baby as much as you can! I hope things get easier for you. Oh, and my DD won't potty train, either, so for now I'm leaving it alone. She'll come to it on her own and I know there is nothing I can do to get her interested in it before that.

BellieGirl

Three is a great age for kids to test their limits and they will push until you hold up boundaries.  I found that the most effective way to deal with mine is through natural consequences.  If they don't eat lunch, I put it in the fridge til dinner and then thats what they get at dinner.  If they want a snack in between, they get offered their lunch.  No snacks or dessert until their meal is finished. 

If they feel it necessary to throw all their corn on the floor, I don't get mad, I don't yell.  After dinner, they get to sit in the kitchen and pick up the corn until they've cleaned it all up.  I don't care if they are in there for an hour or if I have to sit with them, if they make the mess, its their job to clean it up.

On the flip side, we do a earn it program.  I buy a $5 or $10 toy that they are excited about and put it on top of the refrigerator.  They get to put a sticker on a chart for every chore I deem sticker worthy and when they get 20 stickers, they get that toy.  Also, we have an expidited program for things like being kind or patient.  For these acts, they get a special sticker and 10 of these get them that toy.  It has really gone a long way in teaching responsibility and kindness to one another.

I hope this help and wish you all the best.  God bless.