What is up with b-day parties these days?
I have vowed not to get caught up in the birthday party craziness with my children. Well, I say that now... Is it just me, an "older" 43 yo mother of two, or are children's birthday parties being blown out of proportion into parental competitions and demonstrations of wealth? I say this in knowing of my brother's obligaiton to host an ever more extravagant party for my nephew each year. They invite 10-20 children and parents from his class, some of whom are not even known. (some invitations are just "payback",for being invited to another child's party previously). It is not uncommon to pay 30-50 dollars per head for whatever event or venue and go home goodies. Yikes. Then, there are the endless parties to attend, too, with expensive gifts to out do other's each weekend. Maybe it is just a big city thing and since my husband and I live in more of a rural area without a great social circle between us, we may not have to worry about such things when our two get older. I remember a pool or house party here or there for my brother or myself when growing up, but nothing that extensive for my parents. It was fun to receive some gifts, but it wasn't out of control like it seems, now. How out of touch am I? Should I be starting up a savings for the upcoming birthday parties to come? Great.
Re: What is up with b-day parties these days?
DD -- 5YO
DS -- 3YO
Literally just walked in the door from our 2 year old neighbor girl's party.
BBQ from a local joint, cake from the grocery store and chips, drinks etc. at a local park. It was pretty much kids from our neighborhood, so we knew everyone and the adults just sat in the shade and gossipped about the neighbors who didn't come! Small goodie bags, but nothing too much.. a few pieces of candy and a Dollar Store harmonica. Everybody was happy with that.
Charlie's #3 is coming up in about a month.. not sure if we'll do anything or not. Maybe follow suit and just meet some friends at the park.
My kind of party.
We are actually attending a similar party on Saturday for a daycare friend (turning 3) at a local indoor play spot. Generally these types of parties, where I live in Northern NJ, cost around $250-500 for organized places (ie. bounce house place). I'm actually considering it for next year when he turns 4. But I'll be pricing it out and will choose a place that does EVERYTHING?cake, favors, set-up, clean-up?if I go that route.
I generally end up spending at least $200 regardless with cake, food, etc. This year it was just family and close friends and pizza and cake, and the 5 pies and 2 sandwiches were $80. 1/4 sheet cake was $25. Paper goods, party accessories were around $40. Then the beverages, snacks, etc. Parties add up even when you're on a budget. Then you put in the prep work and clean up... I can understand why people choose to go the organized route.
Bronx Zoo: Summer 2013
To read my blog, click on the giraffe pic below!
All the hoopla freaks me out.
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Yeah! Well said. Thanks all for your insight and comments. My husband and I are certainly "old school" about a lot so, it'll be interesting how things transpire over the years for our little family.
A few years back I made the birthday cake for the wife of the guy that ran the support group for "Birthdays Without Expectation"... Funny thing it was a super simple cake and gorgeous!
You know, stop feeling guilty about trying to keep up with the Jones' when it comes to birthday parties, it's not worth it and focus instead on doing something fun and just "kid"like if you are going to host a party. Something like go bowling or a bounce house if it's one of the milestone years. Or go out for pizza. I don't know where all this expectation of having to throw some lavish party you either can't afford or the child won't remember came from. Once one parent does the simple birthday party gtg you'll find other parents following suit because they realize that the kids have just as much fun playing silly party games as they do with the over the top party and not much money is spent.
We had two decent birthday parties for DD where we had a pool party at a local hotel for her "Golden" Birthday and the following year we had a party at the American Girl Bistro for the IL's that was suppose to be a fun time (DD had a replica dress of Felicity I made - sewing is a hobby of mine) but DH turned it into a nightmare (I was just going to have SIL/her kids and DD, he insisted on inviting EVERYONE in the family then I had to sit and listen to DH complain about the food because he ordered the ONE thing on the menu I told him NOT to order!) After that experience, I honestly NEVER want to have another birthday party EVER for either child!
Yeah, the days of going to someone's house, playing some games, eating pizza and having a birthday cake from Carvel seem to be gone. The parties around here are also pretty extravagant...I've been to a few first birthday parties that were in very nice restaurants. For DS, I opted for a small, at-home party, though I did kinda go a bit nuts on his cake ($200. Gulp!) DS' birthday is also Christmas Eve, so unfortunately for his future birthdays, we are going to have to make a concerted effort not to be tapped out from the holidays.
While I think some of these parties are crazy, I have to admit, I will likely follow the trend for our area when DS gets older. We also don't have a lot of space, and with a winter birthday, the options to host a bunch of kids are limited.
I do think that the bigger parties and "invite everyone" mentality goes the wayside when the kids get older and have established friendships. And when the kids are older, parents drop them off so you no longer have to also provide refreshments for the parents. I have a few friends whose older kids just want to do something with 2-3 of their best friends....maybe dinner, movie, a sleepover and pancakes in the morning. Or a special activity. No big, expensive parties.
Strunella,
You hit on a point I missed. The last 3 years, we've been low key at the condo we rented when he turned one and at the house the last 2 years, as Aaron is a Summer birthday. My DH cooked most of the food for his 1st birthday and BBQ'd for his 2nd. Pizza was an easy route this year. The kids (mostly the cousins, ages 2-9) just ran around in the backyard. But I know that Aaron will want his friends at his party next year and I honestly don't have the capability to handle X amount of kids at the house, which I share with my disabled parents.
For me, it's not a oneupmanship or anything like that. It's convenience.
Bronx Zoo: Summer 2013
To read my blog, click on the giraffe pic below!
Ahhh Pinterest and the Party Monster. I blame that website and blogs that pit kids' parties against each other. I nearly had a meltdown when I didn't have time to royale ice the cookies and make a glitter smash cake for DS's first birthday - the only one we've had so far, but I snapped out of it just in time. I dropped a tub of (store bought) frosting on the table, called the cookies DIY, and H took DS to the grocery store where H told me he picked out his own sheetcake by "cooing".
I have the best memories of my birthday growing up whether it was McDonald's, the ice rink, or generic streamers at home. I'm a crafty girl, but I'm not going to get lost in that hype again - y'all can hold me to it.