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Question for BM's - hope it's not too personal
I think I have some understanding how emotional BM's get when either signing TPR's or leaving the hospital without their child, but I am wondering about the physical affects you may experience as well. Having only had M/C's I am just wondering about the physical healing time it takes having a child. I understand if there is a C-section involved that is like recuperating from any surgery, but those who delivered naturally, what was it like physically the first week, month, couple of months after delivery? TIA.
Failed Matches - December 2012, May 2013, December 2013
Moved on to gestational surrogacy with a family friend who is our angel and due 7/23/15
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Re: Question for BM's - hope it's not too personal
Possible TMI warning, but you asked for it... LOL.
During the delivery of my birthson I got a 3rd degree tear. So there was a lot of stitching going on after delivery. Thank you epidural!
In the hospital I was given percocet and had ice packs on at all times. Those ice packs are awesome! I had to lay on my side or on my back. Siting was impossible. My mind was really elsewhere though and I don't remember it being that big of deal as long as I didn't stand too long, or try to sit, I was ok.
While recovering at home I had to regularly take ibuprofen for awhile. For a few weeks I would just always sit leaning to the side and have a pillow underneath me. I couldn't walk around much and had to be careful and always sit to the side. If I was leaning to the side on the couch I was fine. I was in HS at the time and I know I went back to school before my 6 week apt., but I don't remember when exactly. I was fine walking to and from class at that point, but I do remember that sitting in those desk at school hurt and I wanted to bring my pillow, but was too embarrassed. I did have some residual pain where I had been stitched up for a few months or so after, but that was only when I was doing sit ups or standing, walking a lot. Prom was coming up, so after two months I started working out a ton and was fine.
With DD everything was completely different. Labor was longer, but delivery was fast and relatively easy. I barely tore and I could sit soon after delivery (DD is more petite than my birthson and her head was much smaller. Big difference!). When I got into the recovery room I put a pillow down and sat on it and it didn't hurt that much at all. It was sore but I was fine. I even said to my husband, "I can sit!" I didn't even need Percocet. I was so surprised how much better it was this time. So in that regards recovery was a breeze after my last delivery.
Unfortunately I lost a lot of blood after delivery and kept on passing large clots (again sorry if TMI) it took a long time for them to get the bleeding under control. During this time they were pressing on my uterus a lot and this really hurt. My uterus area was still hurting when I was discharged, but I thought it was just still left over from all of the stuff they had to do during that time. It got worse and worse and after a few days I was doubled over in pain. I called the Dr. and after convincing them that this wasn't normal after delivery pain, I came in with a fever and was diagnosed with a uterine infection. I was put on antibiotics and had a couple ultrasounds and thankfully did not need a DandC or anything like that. Just two days into my antibiotic treatment I was feeling completely different. So once the Uterine infection was gone I was feeling great at about 2 1/2 weeks after delivery. Completely different than after my previous delivery. The only limitation I had was it hurt if I had to walk up and down stairs or if I stood too long.
Hopes this helps and hope that wasn't TMI.
Well with birthson we scheduled my induction on the Friday before I was due (I know that's not ideal for baby, but it was for us!
). I did tear and did have stitches. Physically I felt okay, except now I know I did entirely too much moving, because my stitches really really hurt. I mean, I went back to work half-time 9 days after delivering, and full-time the next week. I just didn't know any better.
I also made a meal for M's APs about 5 days after he was born, and my parents and I went over and ate it together. I really could have taken it easier, but I was so happy to have so much weight off my body (I gain a LOT of weight during pregnancy. In a not cute way. But it comes off quickly). For a petite person, you really feel the difference.
The other thing that was hard was when my milk came in (my mom said there's a shot you can get that makes your milk not come in? This was never offered to me...). That was super duper painful for a few weeks. I remember one of my guy friends side hugging me and I literally cried out in pain, they were so swollen and hard and tender, poor little boobies! I know now that I make a LOT of milk (which is totally fine now that someone is drinking it). I spent a lot of time replacing cabbage in my bra! I don't know if it helped, but at least it was something I could do.
I'm not saying all birthmoms are capable of/should go back to work that quickly, but I did go back to work (at home, 5 hrs/wk) two weeks after DS was born. I just need a little something to do. It was nice to have something to take my mind off grieving.
With DS I had a terrible hemorrhoid, but not so with M... I've heard they only get worse... Eek!
Application approved Dec '11
Mar '12: Homestudy interrupted by change in Uganda requirements - where do we go from here?
After searching and searching, back with Uganda but with our homestudy agency's program.
Homestudy complete July 19
USCIS I-600A submitted July 20. Biometrics appointments arrived Aug 17; fingerprinted Aug 21; 171H received Sept 25th. On the wait list Oct 1st: #18. By Jan 25th, we're #13!
Come home, baby A!
That is so sweet that you brought your birthson's parents a meal. That's so thoughtful. Now I feel bad that I didn't think of that back then.
I tried the cabbage idea too! It didn't do anything except make me look ridiculous with tufts of cabbage sticking out. I don't know who came up with that, but I'm starting to think it was just a joke to see how many women would actually try it. LOL.
Thanks.
I'm not a BM, but I do have a biological child that I delivered vaginally. The first couple of days were very heavy bleeding, the first two weeks or so were extreme soreness, and it was a good eight weeks before I started feeling like myself physically. This was without any complications or stitches whatsoever. It's different for everyone though.
ETA: I forgot the issue of milk coming in. I did BF, so I wasn't as engorged as I could have been, but I was still in a LOT of pain if I tried to go too long without nursing or pumping.
BFP #1 9/7/10, EDD 5/14/11, Violet born 5/27/11.
BFP #2 4/9/12, EDD 12/16/12, M/C Rory 4/24/12.
BFP #3 10/6/12, EDD 6/16/12., Matilda born 6/17/13.