So, are you dealing with tantrums? Help me!

AlexKate45

DS is just about 20 months. In the last few weeks he's really picked up with the tantrums. Before it was just when he was getting tired or hungry, not feeling, etc. He'd certainly have the odd mini-tantrum if he didn't get his way. But he was easily distracted.

Now I'm dealing with a different beast. For the last 3 days he's almost gone to daycare naked because I cannot get his diaper changed/clothes on. Total meltdown. Same thing when I pick him up from daycare. He doesn't want to leave. Full on spaghetti legs, back arching tantrums. I have to carry him out kicking and screaming. I can hardly get him strapped into the car seat. He'll scream the whole way home.

I just keep my cool and try not to react too much. Hoping that he'll realize that it won't help him get his way.

I should mention that he's not behaving this way at daycare. They said just the odd fussing for diaper changes....

Tell me this is somewhat normal please! Any suggestions to deal, are greatly appreciated.

 

BabyBoyNYC

i would like to know this too. DS is losing it when I ever I try to put on his jacket or a long sleeve shirt. Like crocodile tears, slams his butt down and refuses to move until I take it off and its getting cool here so he has to wear them.

Bmac11

Right there with you guys. I'd love to know what works. My DS even walks around whining sometimes for no reason, as if he is mad but I have no idea what about.  Diaper changes are hit and miss for us, but most of the time it is a battle. 

rmrm

I could have written this exact post. This past week has been horrible. EVERY SINGLE THING is a tantrum! diaper change, clothes change, bath time, dinner time, doesn't want to be put down. I don't know if we are handling it the right way but i typically put him down and either walk out or sit and ignore him. when he's done i give him a hug and we move on. Would love to hear how anyone else is handling. Oh and ours often includes hitting unfortunately--he doesn't do any of this at daycare apparently. He's about 19 1/2 months.

AlexKate45

Well at least there are four of us dealing with this! lol

I try to ignore as well, at home.  It's hard in public.  Well I'm off to get DS from daycare now.  Wish me luck!

katidid1981

I am mainly a lurker on these boards but google "aha parenting" and check out the toddler section of the website.  There are some really good ideas and great information for tantrums and more!  I don't know how to make clicky links or else I would.  

EMunion777

My daughter is only 13 months old and has already started the tantrums. I think it's from being around her 19 month old cousin who has massive tantrums. If I don't let her get into something (like open cabinets or eat the dog food) she will cry like she's being tortured and sometimes even throw herself on the floor. I usually just ignore her trying to show her that it's not going to get her more attention. When I don't react to the tantrum she usually stops pretty quickly. When I react and try to calm her it just escalates. Oh and she also hits! I'm not sure where she learned this! We don't hit and she's home with me all day, not at a daycare. The hardest thing for me is diaper changing time. I am trying to potty train her now because changing her diapers are exhausting. She refuses to lay down and is constantly rolling over and freaking out. I've tried giving her a book, toys, sippy cup, talking/singing to her while changing but nothing works. She seems to like being on her potty chair and dances to my made-up potty song and gets excited and claps when she uses it and mommy gets excited for her. Hopefully soon she'll get this down so the dramatic changing times are over.

Oh! As for freaking out in the car. You might want to try this if you haven't already. My daughter has a mirror attached to the seat that's at her eye level. It's not a glass mirror. She loves to look at herself and make faces in the mirror (mostly smiles and sticking her tongue out). As soon as we put her in her seat she smiles at herself and says "hi." Other car things that make her happy is having on music that she likes (she'll dance and if she doesn't like it she'll throw a fit. :O) lol. And we usually keep a few toys and a board book in the car to entertain her. But usually she's happy enough with the mirror and music. Hope that helps.

mesmom2011

We tell our LO to use her nice words.  We try to give her as much as we can when she uses her words in order to reinforce that.  She also does some signs and that helps a lot.

The other thing that works with my LO is to give her choices.  Given 2 options, she gets to choose what she will wear, what movie she wants to watch, if she wants to walk or if she wants to be carried, if she wants to lay on the couch or the floor to get her diaper changed, if she wants a pink or a blue fork to eat her lunch, if she wants pasta or rice for lunch. . . All day long, I am giving her choices about things that I don't really care about.  I always give her options that I am happy with either way.  She feels more in control and deals with being told "no" or "later" much better when she gets to decide many things about her day. 

changingnames

I'm not an expert but this is my second toddler so I have had a little time to come up with some ideas. Ds1 has an autism spectrum disorder also so he was in tantrum stage a long time. At this age they know what they want but they often lack the expressive language to let YOU know what they want. For us sign language helped a ton. They can form signs long befo they have the physical ability to make words. We started sign around 3 months with ds1 and by 2 yrs he had over a hundred signs. Ds2 didn't get quite as much sign practice but I did it as ai remembered to and just recently he is picking up every single sign I put out there- he is hungry for signs and gets such a huge kick out of telling us what he wants and actually getting it. That and I just remember that it the tantrums are temporary. It will pass. Ok can't think of anything else right now but anything you can do to help him communicate with you will help. You can also make sure he knows what comes next (bath time is over and we are goi to drain the tub now) Hth