Attachment and fathering down

ginafun

DH and I would categorize ourselves as pro-natural parenting, yet a conservative form of attachment parenting. That being said, DH has been putting LO thru her bedtime routine ending with a bottle of expressed BM since she was three weeks. She is now almost three months. I recently have been researching more from Dr. Sears and he does recommend fathering down as a tool. However, mine and DDs bond has grown a lot the last few weeks since I started to nurse her down for naps. She is now fighting DH giving her a bottle before bed. We have stuck with it the last few days and each evening it gets a little better. Tonight she drank the whole bottle, but she isn't falling fast asleep like she does when I nurse her down for naps. I have considered following up her bottle with a quick boob session to throw her over edge to dreamland but I don't know if that will be counterproductive. Any thoughts from AP parents or moms that have DH father down at night?

pixieprincss

While I use nursing down, DS usually uses non-milk ways to get the boys down. He wears DS2 (newborn) down. With DS1 (20m), they read books, cuddle, DS likes to rub DH's ear, etc.

If one doesn't accept DH's nightime parenting after he gives it a good go, I am happy to step in. DH does the same for me. At times DS1 just wants daddy. Other times he is all about mommy. We go with the flow when it can be accomodated. (I work weekends, so sometimes it cannot be accomdated.)

SunnyMuffin

I would probably just give her what she needs - you.  If she's fighting your DH giving her the bottles, it's time to reconsider. Does Dr Sears recommend doing this as young as 12 weeks? (I dont recall reading that part). I'd say its more important that you bf her before bed this young, instead of trying to push bottles.  It's not natural.  Bfing will provide the nutrition AND comfort that she needs to go to sleep.  You aren't depriving your husband of bonding with the baby by nursing her to sleep at night.  

nosoup4u

I would nurse her one last time before your DH starts bedtime, then you don't have to worry about the bottle aspect of bedtime with her.

My DH has always just cuddle/sung/rocked kids to sleep without any bottles (I EBF).

ginafun

My only concern is that since she is used to nursing to sleep, she will fight going down for him?

SunnyMuffin

so keep nursing her to sleep, it's not worth the bonding if its a struggle every night 

ncbelle

I think it's actually best when either parent can get baby down for sleep.  And babies definitely go through phases of doing "better" for one parent over another.  Best thing is to just listen to what she needs and for each of you to have multiple "tricks" that work to soothe and calm her down for sleep.