Homebirth for #2

Joyfullnoise

Have any of you mommies of more than 1 had a homebirth with your older child in the house or present? How did you go about this? I think that we will need some kind of adult supervision for him that is not my DH or I, but we do not have immediate family members available. It is weird to ask someone we aren't that close with to help us out? 

barnwife

Both LOs have been homebirths. They are 19 months apart. We had someone here to watch J. It happens to have been a family member of DH's (not his immediate family though). She was the only person that lives close to us that I was okay with being here.

Had she not been willing, we would have sent J. to someone else's house.

I think you need to do what you are comfortable with in terms of whether the older LO is present or not. No matter what though, I'd say you definitely want someone besides yourself/DH to watch LO. (FWIW, my midwife requires you to have someone else.)

GL with whatever you decide!

bandwife

We're in the same situation. We had our first at home and now we've moved overseas, no family here and our close friends just moved away.

If the baby comes early my sister will be here visiting so she'll watch our son. 

Oddly, the conversation about who will watch our son has already come up with some acquaintances and we've had a few volunteers. Most of our friends are ex-pats too and we all help each other out as much as possible. Everyone knows how tough it is to be living somewhere without family.

 

mjr12

We are having this same conversation as well!  I am not sure what we will do, if DS will stay in the house and we'll have someone come over or if we'll have him sent over to another house.  I guess it also depends on WHEN baby comes, if it's night time, we might just let him sleep and have a backup helper in the house.  If it's daytime, we might send him to daycare and then assess the evening.  We are so up in the air! 

I'm curious to know what other moms are doing/have done!

LaurelBee

I'm lucky in the sense that we have plenty of family near by that is willing to watch Ds, however, I am not comfortable with any of them in my house as I labor/ give birth. (None are extremely supportive of HB) We live in a neighborhood with TONS of sahms, so I plan to ask one if Ds is invited over for the day. I would like to have Ds present for the birth, but I just don't know how that will play out. I'm considering asking a friend to come over to take pics and watch Ds, but I don't know if I want non family present, Kwim? ::shakes head:: I'm not being very helpful am I? GL mama

mAnYaSha

I do not have a first hand experience, but ..

I want DS to be close and be there very soon after birth. DH does not want him in the house because he thinks I will get loud when pushing again and scare him.

Thus far the plan is for MIL to come once I am in labor, day or night. If it is at night and DS sleeps they will stay put. If I get loud and it is daytime or he wakes up at night, MIL will take him out of the house for a while. DH does not want DS seeing birth but I am kind of leaning him being there, especially after hearing birth story my midwife attended on Labour Day, both older sisters were in the house, free to come and leave while mom was in labour in the tub and were there for the actual birth. There was no fear because they did not know to be scared ...

I would definately have a care plan for DC#1 so SO can concentrate on you, you never know what might come up.

 

wifeofadam

We took my kids to my FILs with the last birth.  I'm really glad we did, because my labor ended up lasting 20 hours and it was a posterior birth.  I was pretty loud and I think the kids would have been scared.  Also, I would have been distracted having them there.

This time we may not have anyone in town to watch the kids during the birth.  If that happens, our plan is to put the birth tub in my bedroom and I will stay back there during the labor while DH or anyone else that is there takes care of the kids.  My BF is a doula, so I think I'd rather have her help during labor and let DH handle the kids.

IMO, it is optimal to have the kids out of the house.  My MWs agree and encourage it.  But you have to do what you have to do. 

BrideNamedMeg

My second was born at home and with our midwife we were pretty much required to have someone there just for our older child.  For us it was my mom, but if you don't have family local, having them stay with a friend or neighbor would probably be best, unless they want to be at the house instead.  

Our midwife's rational was that someone should be able to take the older child away if things get a little too intense, also if (God forbid) you need an emergency transfer to the hospital DH wouldn't be able to go with you if there was no one there to babysit.   

For my birth, my Mom took DD out during the day and then brought her home and put her to bed.  She was far enough from our room that she didn't hear anything that was going on (and I wasn't quiet!) DS was born at 2:00am and she slept through it. For the next birth I'll probably have them out of the house since I think with two it'll be easier.

Joyfullnoise

Thank you all so much for your input. I'm sure that this is a point that we will have to explore more as things progress, but it is helpful to hear others' experiences. 

My Mom died in 2009 and my MIL is unable to carry DS, making her not ideal in a situation that she would need to be his primary caregiver. Our nearest relatives are about 4 hours away and my entire labor for DS was 5 hours.

I think I am likely going to consider asking a friend to come over, depending on the timing and because DS is having some separation issues right now. If he relaxes on that point and it is daytime, I might consider asking a friend to take him to her home.