Can we just skip the holidays please?

Williamandshawnna

The main thing on my mind has been the holidays, our expected due date/s. There are several due dates with the triplets. My MFM thought we would make it to 31w, I said I was cooking them until 35w and then of course, when we first found out and thought it was only one, our 40w due date... November 14. So I think we are sticking with November 14.

Everyday is hard, but this would have been their first major holiday.

I work in retail, and for a specialty company that has a huge focus on the holidays. So there is no escaping it. Not to mention, all I can keep thinking of is, I should not be here. I should be at home still pregnant.

I have made it very clear that I want nothing to do with the holidays. Thanksgiving or Christmas. I don't want a tree, I don't want to decorate, I plan to sit on the couch and read or watch a non holiday movie on Thanksgiving and Christmas day. I will participate in things to satisfy my family, because it is not their fault and I will not ruin the holiday for them, I just want them to understand I am not the person I used to be and I will never be that person again. I know the boys will weigh heavy on their minds as well, but for me it is a little different.

Sorry for the long vent and I am sorry to make us all think of such a hard time of the year. Thank you for listening.

ILoveRedVino

I was due January 3, so I hear ya.

I'm already dreading Mother's Day.  It is many months away, but I think about it every single day and don't know how I'll get through it.

fluttergirlmoonchild79

Big hugs to you right now.  Corbin left this world on Dec 3rd and so we had Christmas 3 short weeks later.  We couldn't bring ourselves to say "Merry Christmas"  about the most we'd say was "Christmas".  To make matters worse with what should have been his first Christmas, my grandma almost passed away and then my cousin went into labor and gave birth on my birthday (the day after Christmas) and her daughter was about as premature as our son was so they were in the NICU for 7 days (we were in for 11).  Still not looking forward to the holidays this year.  The only holiday we had Corbin for was Thanksgiving.  Thankfully (no pun intended), we flip-flop holidays every year so this year we won't be around his family for Thanksgiving like we were last year, we'll be with my family. 

It's going to be rough, I won't lie.  All I can say is do what's best for you.  Maybe participate in family activities for a little while and then go home and just be with DH and do what you want to do.  I completely understand not decorating - I was just the opposite.  I put up our tree because Corbin was with us and it was going to be his first Christmas and he was mesmerized by the lights.  It took me a long time to take it down because I was afraid he wouldn't know which house was ours.  I'm not normally a big Christmas or decorating fan, but for his first Christmas I was going to go all out.  All I ended up getting up was the tree because a week later, he went to heaven.  Wishing you peace and love.

jbranden12

I hear you. The Christmas season has always been my favorite time of year. Ridiculous though it may be, I remember bawling last Christmas night because we all kept talking about what this Christmas would be like and I realized that I wasn't going to be the baby in the family anymore and nothing would ever be the same. Little did I know that nothing would be different this Christmas. I don't know how I'll be. ((HUGS))

yosemitemom

Word. 

But, I feel that I have to fake it to make it this season. Primarily because I am blessed to have a three-year old and want this time of year to be amazing for her. I spent many hours daydreaming about this season as a family of four and well, that just isn't going to happen anytime soon, and it's going to be painful.

tuscanbride2007

I absolutely agree with skipping. I was just thinking last night how hard it will be and to top it off, I should have a new niece/nephew for Thanksgiving and Christmas and there is a good possibility that they will be staying in my house. I don't know how I am going to do with a newborn baby in my house at the holidays. Blah.

a&aw12707

I would LOVE to skip the holidays this year. My EDD was 12/23/12, so Christmas is going to hurt. However, we are lucky enough to have a 5 yo who has to have her Mommy involved.

weddedwife

I think I wrote this exact post last year. DS was born/died on Nov. 2. Thanksgiving sucked. I wanted to skip Christmas altogether but had to go through the motions for DD. I drank a lot that day.

It's pretty normal to feel like you are feeling. If your family/friends don't understand, too bad. This isn't about them. One thing someone told me that helped me put it into perspective was, this year doesn't have to be like last year, and next year doesn't have to be like this year. The holidays are just days, if you can just get through it you are doing enough.

Williamandshawnna

Thank you ladies for all of your help, support, advice and such kind words. We have so many milestones coming up including their 3 month in just a few days. This Sucks.

Much Love and big HUGS to all of you

-Shawnna