5 Thing Thursday — The Bump
Dads & Dads-to-be

5 Thing Thursday

OK, moving 5 things back to one of my days off, so it doesn't wind up posted so late in the day.

1) If you care to share, what is your biggest fear about being a dad? (aside from health issues for baby or wife)

2)  What are things/experiences are you looking forward to most in the future with your child?

3-5 again are all you.

Re: 5 Thing Thursday

  • 1) If you care to share, what is your biggest fear about being a dad? (aside from health issues for baby or wife)

    My biggest fear is something that is happening right now, becoming my father.  Don't get me wrong, I love my father.  But recently, my now 21 month old is acting as if he's entering his terrible twos a bit early, not listening, pushing every boundary and button, and I feel like my patience has been tested significantly, and on occasion, has failed and I've wound up raising my voice to him to what I consider to be an unacceptable level.   Do not get me wrong, its not like I'm hitting him, or doing anything that would be deemed physically abusive, but my patience level is being tested with just one, and I've got another on the way and there are times I wonder how I'm going to deal with 2.

    2)  What are things/experiences are you looking forward to most in the future with your child?

    There have been tons already, but experiences we haven't had yet would be playing an actual game of catch in the backyard.  Sitting down on a Sunday and watching a football game together (and him actually understanding and sitting through it instead of just saying football and then tearing through the room).  Him saying "I love you daddy".  He is giving kisses now, which is great (and wet, very drool filled kisses) but to hear the words would be outstanding.

    3) 2 weeks from today, we find out if we are having a boy or a girl.

    4) I wonder how much my son gets it because we ask him if he wants a brother and he says "no", a sister "no", a dinosaur or a crocodile and he shakes his head yes and smiles.  He is going to be one disappointed little dude when it isn't a reptile.

    5) My son (again, just 21 months old) went the entire day, that is over 14 hours, with no nap.  Didn't even act like he was interested in one.  Not a fan.  Not only did that make him one belligerent little dude (who refused to sleep) by about 3 pm , but it left daddy without a break and led to the situation explained in #1 today.  Today would not be my submission tape for Daddy of the Year.

     

  • 1) If you care to share, what is your biggest fear about being a dad? (aside from health issues for baby or wife) Not living up to expectations. I place really high expectations on myself in my career, marriage, etc. And this is no different. I was raised by my father (single parent) and he traveled for work a lot. I spent many Holidays alone. I don't blame him for it because he was doing what he had to do to provide for us- but I missed the "Christmas Morning" experience. I remember having a bowl of cereal with my dog for Thanksgiving one year. I want to change all of that with my daughter. I just hope I can give her the experiences and memories she will grow up and look on with pride, happiness, and awe. I don't want her to have bad memories.


    2)  What are things/experiences are you looking forward to most in the future with your child? Obviously, I can't wait to experience the first time I hold her. But in general, I can't wait until she gets to the point when she can recognize me when I enter a room. If my wife decides to go back to work, I can't wait to see the look on her face when I come to pick her up from daycare. I can't wait until I officially become "Daddy" and not my first name.

    3) My wife and I have watched our Nephew all last week. On Monday. Last night. Will have to supervise his mother's visit with him today. And we had to cancel our dinner plans tomorrow. I love my BIL like a brother, I promise. But he has a 4 year old and his exgf failed some drug test sin court so he has full custody for now. He is in the National Guard and works nights as a Paramedic- so his schedule can get hairy. I am proud my wife and I are stepping up- I am pissed my wife's family completely bailed on him. My wife's family has always preached "We are big on family. It takes a village to raise a child". They are always preaching to me about how I should raise my daughter. Yet when my BIL needs someone to watch his son- EVERYONE shies away. My SIL says she is working, has a date with her BF of 2 weeks, her car doesn't work, she has to go shopping, etc. My FIL says she is tired and already raised his children (well, still is- my SIL lives with him still and pays her bills. She is 32 next month). Cousins go poof. His friends go poof. I feel bad because I want to spend as much time with my wife as "us" before we have our daughter but it feels like we are already parents. Sorry this was more of a rant lol.

    4) We are getting close to settling on a daycare. We found one we really liked this is 182/wk. This lady will also work with my wife's teaching schedule and won't charge us during the summer to hold the spot. And we can still pay the weekly rate if we need her for a week or the daily rate if my wife needs someone to watch her. We are going to look at another one this week close to my work that is 150/wk. We are also going to go look at an inhome provider. This makes me really nervous. Some of my wife's friends have used her though and recommend her. And she only charges 100/wk. The savings are hard to ignore.

    5) Even though the Vols dropped the ball last week against Florida... Gotta move on. They have the talent to compete with any team in the SEC. They have Akron this weekend ( I think I am getting free tickets to the game from a work conference/lunch I have on Friday) but more importantly, they have Georgia a week from Saturday. Going to be a good game- if Derek Dooley can figure out how to motivate his team in the 2nd half. Dooley is like 0-18 against ranked teams or something like that. And he has never come back and won a game that he is tied or losing in the half. Ever. In his entire head coaching career.

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  • 1) If you care to share, what is your biggest fear about being a dad? (aside from health issues for baby or wife)

    Encouraging bad behavior.  Humor is a big part of my life.  I like laughing and joking around.  I'm sure that I'll have trouble not laughing and encouraging behavior that is not acceptable yet I find funny.

    2) What are things/experiences are you looking forward to most in the future with your child?

    I don't really have anything that I am latching onto at this point.  I am really just looking forward to all of it.  Just being a dad is going to be sweet!

    3) We had our first u/s on Tuesday.  It was really early (we knew we were around 5-6 weeks), but the doc requested it after doing the blood draws.  I spent the week leading up to it trying to instill in my wife that if we can't see anything or hear the heartbeat that it doesn't mean anything is wrong.  It could just be too soon.  Sure enough that is what happened.  She handled it a lot better than either of us expected.  We go back in a couple weeks for the next u/s.

    4) Occasionally I am able to work from home.  Tuesday was one of those days.  Borderlands 2 arrived around lunchtime and it was very hard to not put it in and play.

    5) Electrician is coming tomorrow to install a couple lines for my new homebrew setup.  This is a huge step and I am getting really excited to finally having this project that I started in January completed.


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  • imagePrime:

    3) We had our first u/s on Tuesday.  It was really early (we knew we were around 5-6 weeks), but the doc requested it after doing the blood draws.  I spent the week leading up to it trying to instill in my wife that if we can't see anything or hear the heartbeat that it doesn't mean anything is wrong.  It could just be too soon.  Sure enough that is what happened.  She handled it a lot better than either of us expected.  We go back in a couple weeks for the next u/s.

    I think we were able to see the heart beat when we went in for our first one at 8 weeks. So you guys are really close. And trust me man- it goes by so fast. It seems like the last ultrasound was just a couple weeks ago... not 15 weeks ago. Heck in another 15 weeks, she will be 39 weeks and my daughter will be here any day. Yikes!!

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  • Rocky, hadn't said this yet, but if we have a girl, we are having an Evelyn too.  She'll be named after her living great grandmothers.
  • 1) If you care to share, what is your biggest fear about being a dad? (aside from health issues for baby or wife)

    I'm worried that I'll screw her up.  My wife assures me that I'm patient and will be a great dad, but I'm still worried about being terrible at this.

    2)  What are things/experiences are you looking forward to most in the future with your child?

    Sharing things I love with her.  I love sports and jokes and nerdy things, and I can't wait to share it all with her.  Bonus points if I can get her to be a Panthers and Braves fan before my Giants/Mets loving in-laws can get to her.

    3) Like others, I really cannot believe how the the time has flown.  I feel like it was just a few weeks ago that I heard my wife shouting "Oh *** oh *** oh ***!" from the bathroom when she got the positive test, and now she's 24 weeks along. It was pretty late in week 4 when we found out, so there's less time to go than we've had knowing she's pregnant.  It's insane.

    4) My dad is getting re-married next month.  Beach wedding in South Carolina. During hurricane season.  I'm mostly surprised that he scheduled a Saturday wedding during college football season.  My brother is angry because it's the day of the Gamecock/LSU game.  The wife will be on the cusp of third trimester then, and I'm sure my aunts will be bombarding us with name suggestions.  The phrase, "We'll take that under consideration" will be thrown about liberally.

    5)  Mom had her third round of chemo this week.  She's feeling okay, a bit of nausea this morning, but it's passed.  We went down about two weeks ago and brought our doppler, so she could hear the heartbeat.

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • imageColtsdad:

    1) If you care to share, what is your biggest fear about being a dad? (aside from health issues for baby or wife)

    I'm actually a little concerned I'm not going to bond very well very quickly. Because we are using a surrogate/friend who lives 1300 miles away, this whole pregnancy has been very different for us. It doesn't seem real at all. It's starting to slowly and maybe that's normal too. Also along those lines, I think I'm concerned I might always feel like the baby could be taken away at any moment bc it's an adoption. Of course that's not a logical fear, but it's still there.

    Additionally, I think that my temper can get the best of me sometimes although it's not that often. I don't like that side of me and I have worked very hard at taming it, but there are still times I allow myself to get out of control.  

    2)  What are things/experiences are you looking forward to most in the future with your child?

    Most of you won't be able to understand this, but my wife and I are so very excited to have a baby that the state can't take away to give back to the parents. This kid we will be able to keep and love and train just the way we want without the fear that he/she will have to go back to his/her really mom and dad soon. We will be able to actually allow ourselves to really attach, which I'm so excited for! I look forward to teaching my kid that the Sooners are amazing and to hate Texas as much as I do. I look forward to training up my kid and seeing my wife be the great mom I know she is.

    3. I'm with you guys, I don't know what happened to the time with this pregnancy! It felt like just the other day we were at what felt like a stand still with moving through this and all of a sudden I look up and Tuesday will be 12 weeks! We scheduled our announcement photos for the end of the month, which I'm really excited to get done.

    4. Tomorrow is going to be a very interesting day. It'll be the first day the girls have no school with the baby home. I'm scared. These kids have no ability, even at 12 and 6, to entertain themselves so they follow me EVERYWHERE and need me to talk to them ALL THE TIME! It's tough normally, but with a baby it's going to be a nightmare. 

    5. I'm eating terribly and that's an understatement. I just haven't figured out how to feed myself successfully while feeding a baby, managing the dogs, scheduling naps, visits, phone calls and pick ups. I feel like I move without stopping all day! Oh, someone remind me to call to schedule to have our new windows put in and the cat needs more cat food asap.

    Bonus: Oh, sh*t, there's been a lot of sh*it here! Turns out choc lab isn't taking the transition very well and the upset has been all over her kennel the last few days. And then, of course, there is the baby too. Agh. 

    ***Loss and success mentioned***
    Me:34, Wife: 32
    IF reasoning = MFI: Zero Sperm Count using FairFax donor bank
    IUI #1 - #3: 2011 = BFN
    IVF: 2011 = BFN, lost all 10 embryos (with C/Ps)
    Jan 2014 - OBGYN (not RE) found and removed wife's "field of" uterine polyps after failed IVF

    Moving on to surrogacy (actually a planned adoption)
    Surrogate IUI#1: 7.17.12 = BFP!! 15dpiui = 256, 17dpiui = 346
    Oliver Zane born - 3/29/2013 on Good Friday!

    IUI #4 - #6: 2014-2015 = BFN (with C/Ps)
    Switch sperm donors, start ketosis diet to reduce inflammation late 2015
    IVF 2: Jan and Feb 2016, 3 great looking, 8 cell 3 day embryos. Two ET, one frozen
    2.18.2016 (8dp3dt) = BFFP!
    2.22.2016 (12dp3dt) = 649!!

    Started foster care experience in 2012. Now waiting to adopt our foster daughter, 7, who has lived with us for 3 years. 


    "Wait for your God, and don't give up on Him - ever!" Hosea 12:6 (msg)

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  • I'm logged on as my wife....using her computer tonight.

    1) If you care to share, what is your biggest fear about being a dad? (aside from health issues for baby or wife)

     My biggest fear is failure. I love my parents, and I have accepted that they did the best job they could with the circumstances they were in...but it took my time and counseling to get to this point. When I look back over my childhood, I'm sure there are some great memories, but all I can remember are the bad ones. AND that sucks. My hope is that I put my child first and leave behind the negative...I don't want those patterns to become a generational curse. 

    2)  What are things/experiences are you looking forward to most in the future with your child?

     I'm not 100% sure yet. I'm really just looking forward to spending time with my son. Where we go and what we do really doesn't matter, I just want to do things with him. 

    3) My wife had our baby this week. Hence why my Thursday post is on a Saturday. We just got home from the hospital and I'm actually, officially a DAD. Holy crap!

    4) My parents are not coming out here to meet my kid. Actually no one from my entire family, with the exception of one close cousin who flew in from NYC for one day just to meet him. I'm sad but I'm hiding it because it might upset my wife and she already has a low opinion of my relatives.

    5) But at the end of the day I'm a Dad and I plan on kicking butt at it! 

  • imageColtsdad:
    Rocky, hadn't said this yet, but if we have a girl, we are having an Evelyn too.  She'll be named after her living great grandmothers.

     

    That's awesome! It is a beautiful name for sure! We love it! :)

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