Am I a bad person

DebbieM422

becuase I lost it last night when I found out my husband's cousin and his wife are 3 months pregnant?  They're 5 years younger than us, and dammit, we were supposed to be the first to give great-grandkids!

I lost my cool for about 30 minutes, was angry, upset at myself for being angry, jealous, angry at myself for being jealous...

In happier news though, on schedule for retreival tomorrow morning (hoping to get 9 eggs - for someone as young as I am, the doctors were surprised I was a bad stim).

 

notquiteblushing

Not at all.  We've all been there.  Good luck tomorrow.

CutieGirlLissie

You are not a bad person! It's a totally understandable reaction considering everything that we are all going through! GL tomorrow!!

Killer Tomato

I think we've all been there. Give yourself some time to feel the feelings without judgement, but don't hang on to them, as they will do you more harm than good. I usually stomp around shouting about unfairness to my husband or my cat (or the television, if neither husband or cat is around to listen,) and then I get it out of my system and put those feelings aside to make room for more positive ones.

 Good luck with your ER tomorrow! 9 potential eggs sounds pretty good to me!  

Juicy71

You're totally not a bad person, at all!!  Good luck tomorrow cycle buddy!  I'll be doing ER tomorrow as well!

MandaS08

You are not a bad person. You can't help how you feel-don't beat yourself up over it!

 

GL with your retrevial!

LaineyPaney

No. You had your moment of reaction, hopefully in the privacy of your own home, and now may you plaster the smile we IFers know well, and move the hell on.

Nothing about IF has proven to be fair so far....

Scoop77

Obviously you're not a bad person. The IF experience will take it out of anyone and when someone pops up with a pregnancy announcement it's sometimes too much to handle.

If you were only upset for 30 minutes, I say you rock. 

Good luck with ER tomorrow and I hope this is the cycle for you!

RequiresExalted

*hugs*  We've all been there, and you're not a bad person at all!

Good luck tomorrow!  FX! 

rosemary&thyme

You aren't a bad person! IF is really, really shiittty and we've all been in that exact same angry/jealous cycle. Hugs to you and GOOD LUCK tomorrow!!

Seagull2012

Not a bad person at all. i am starting to have nightmares one of my friends (who got pg on first month trying of course) is going to tell me any day they are expecting baby #2 (their first is 2yrs old now). I'm going to try not to freak out on them.

SuzanneJesse

Killer Tomato:

I think we've all been there. Give yourself some time to feel the feelings without judgement, but don't hang on to them, as they will do you more harm than good. I usually stomp around shouting about unfairness to my husband or my cat (or the television, if neither husband or cat is around to listen,) and then I get it out of my system and put those feelings aside to make room for more positive ones.

 Good luck with your ER tomorrow! 9 potential eggs sounds pretty good to me!  

 THIS!   

YankeeNavyWife

TennisSarah30:

You are so not a bad person!  Honestly, I am not too proud to say this, but I get upset all of the time when I find out people are pregnant.  I get over it, but it still hurts for a while.  Do not feel like you are a bad person.  It's totally understandable.

This. Exactly.

Cry, scream, stomp, punch pillows. Anything that helps get it all out. Then you pick yourself up, wipe yourself off, and start over fresh and clear again.

You're totally not alone, hun.

tweettyjohn

No, you shouldn't feel bad at all!  I have felt the same way many times recently.  It's normal and understandable.

KMW08

You are definitely NOT a bad person! Emotions & feelings are human nature.  I think it's harder when it's family related.  I like seeing other women who are pregnant - it makes me happy thinking about the joy they are probably having (if they aren't they need a big ol' B-slap :-)

I'm too having a hard time coping with a family related pregnancy.  My BIL's gf? (in short she's married, her DH in prison, and always said she was unable to get preggo - she has no prior bio kids, steps only).  However, from what I already knew of her I knew she met our fam & thought $$$ - sadly EVERYBODY that knew he and her were shacked up told him he'd better watch himself, we now see where that ended, SURPRISE!  There's a chance that it isn't his, but we're all about 99% it is.  Then to take the cake, she smokes! I swear on my life I hope I don't catch her smoking because you better believe I will have some not so nice words with her.

She & I were two weeks apart (BIL & her never knew we were preggo) but my in-laws did and they are also having a hard time accepting that their 1st grandchild is coming this route. 

I try to be positive, my MIL has cancer & I just keep telling myself that if I'm not able to give her some G'kids at least she'll get 1 (if it really ends up being my BIL's). And if it is his, I will love it, because I know that child will need some love.

Thanks for reading / letting me vent.  To the original OP - good luck with the ER today!