Pitching in, monetarily

Of The Eld

A couple of my friends from college have offered to throw me a cool Co-ed shower, and I'm really grateful/excited about it. I know that they don't have a lot of disposable income, so I was wondering what you guys thought the etiquette was on Pitching in cash for the cake or food or whatever.

Liz4444

A shower is a gift that your friends have offered to give you.  They will throw you a great party that they can afford, no need to give them any money.  I honestly think that when someone offers the host money, it comes off as though they want something better than they think their friends and family are going to do for them. 

Use the money and get them a nice thank you gift.

Allycat11

Liz4444:

A shower is a gift that your friends have offered to give you.  They will throw you a great party that they can afford, no need to give them any money.  I honestly think that when someone offers the host money, it comes off as though they want something better than they think their friends and family are going to do for them. 

Use the money and get them a nice thank you gift.

All of this.  

jobiann

Of The Eld:

A couple of my friends from college have offered to throw me a cool Co-ed shower, and I'm really grateful/excited about it. I know that they don't have a lot of disposable income, so I was wondering what you guys thought the etiquette was on Pitching in cash for the cake or food or whatever.

I agree with all of this. A ton of money doesn't have to be spent to create a nice shower. The MTB shouldn't contribute money towards the party. Give them a thoughtful and useful gift for hosting. 

1026pumpkin

Liz4444:

A shower is a gift that your friends have offered to give you.  They will throw you a great party that they can afford, no need to give them any money.  I honestly think that when someone offers the host money, it comes off as though they want something better than they think their friends and family are going to do for them. 

Use the money and get them a nice thank you gift.

Agreed!

moonglow_84

Liz4444:

A shower is a gift that your friends have offered to give you.  They will throw you a great party that they can afford, no need to give them any money.  I honestly think that when someone offers the host money, it comes off as though they want something better than they think their friends and family are going to do for them. 

Use the money and get them a nice thank you gift.

I agree with this, but it's very nice of you to think of your friends and want to help

ETA: If you do want to pitch in somehow, IMO favours are ok for you to provide, because it is something you are buying as a thank you for the guests.  But definitely ask your hosts before you just do that.

dehsignz

If you make the offer to throw a shower for someone you should be prepared to handle all that it entails. I would not take any money from my friend for a recent shower no matter how many times she offered, though I was tight on funds it just didn't feel right. Thank them with a nice hostess gift to show you appreciation. 

SunAndRain

One way I managed to pitch in is when the subject of how to send out invitations came up between me and my two hostesses one suggested evite and the other thought mailed invites were the way to go.  I 100% agreed with mailed invites.  Realizing this was adding to their costs I text the one who was responsible for the invites that I happened to be at the post office and should I get extra stamps while I was there?  OK, so it was only about $25 for the number of invites that went out but it was something.

So maybe you could randomly pick something up or happen to have table clothes or extra eating utensils...  Other than that I would just let them plan.