I'm angry!

christielovesnathan

After the birthmother kept the baby I've just been mad at everything. But especially my sister. My youngest sister is about to have her first baby, and she didn't even want to get pregnant, and she's not ready to be a mother at all and it just makes me so irritated. I'm so jealous. I'm the oldest and it looks like I will be the last one to be a mother!

jillianmb

It has only been 6 days; I think those feelings are very normal.  I know it feels like you are mad at your sister but I bet you are really mad at the unfairness of it all.  It is a very typical thing to do to transfer our feelings onto a person who doesn't deserve them.  I've done it too.  The important thing is to control your actions toward your sister and still be kind toward her because it is not her fault that the e-mom changed her mind.

Give yourself some time to grieve. Sometimes it helps to write out all your feelings.  Service is a great way to move forward after something like this happens; are you involved in with any charities or something like that?  And don't forget to give yourself some grace and do somethings you really enjoy doing.  Put yourself on the path to healing.  You will get through this and you will be a mom someday.   ((hugs))

jmoka7

jillianmb:

It has only been 6 days; I think those feelings are very normal.

I agree. I can't even imagine what you're feeling right now. And those emotions may not go away for awhile. Maybe you could write down how you're feeling and really take ownership of those feelings (this usually really helps me). Only time with heal your heart. My thoughts are with you.  

Dr.Loretta

I agree that you need to separate your failed match and your sister's baby. And also keep in perspective that life is not a competition, and it doesn't really matter who has a baby first. I'm the oldest and was the last of my 3 siblings to have kids by far. NBD.

It is perfectly normal to be angry. It is perfectly healthy to be angry. It's how you handle it that's key. It's also perfectly fine to vent away in a safe place like here instead of exploding in the middle of a family GTG.

((HUGS))

DaisyZH

(( Hugs )) I'm sorry you're having such a rough time.  It's okay to feel the way you do, you're only human and jealousy is a very normal emotion.  As long as you don't act on it and lash out at your sister it's okay.

The PPs give wonderful advice - speak with a therapist, spend some time pampering yourself, get involved in volunteer activities.  You will get through this and you will be a mom someday.